Page 41 of Phantom

“I… Uh…” He squinted at the blonde. “Marcie?”

“It’s Darcy.”

Had we accidentally stumbled down a rabbit hole and ended up in Wonderland? This was surreal. And also strangely satisfying.

“Who added schadenfreude to the guest list?” I whispered to Hawk.

“No fuckin’ clue, but I’m here for it.”

“We should’ve brought popcorn.”

“Probably woulda been cheaper than that biodegradable confetti.”

My mom had never been a violent person—guilt and shame were her weapons—but today, she raised a hand and slapped Stu so hard he staggered sideways.

“You are not marrying my daughter.”

Odette dropped her bouquet and sank to the ground, holding her stomach.

“This can’t be happening.”

“Oh, it isn’t. Odette, that girl is pregnant.”

“Well, so am I.”

Called it. Damn, I hoped the videographer was getting this on tape.

The wedding descended into chaos. Darcy’s brother ran up the aisle and landed a well-deserved punch, and blood gushed from Stu’s nose as he stumbled into the officiant and knocked him to the ground. Mom and Mrs. Boldt got into a verbal altercation that turned physical when Mrs. Boldt emptied a bottle of water over Mom’s head and yelled that Odette wasn’t good enough for her son anyway, and Charity began screaming. Clarice helped Odette to her feet, and someone must have called for medical help because a man in golf slacks carrying a doctor’s bag ran into the melee a few minutes later, just as it started to rain. Presumably he’d been playing a round on the course next door, one more person whose day had been ruined by Stu and Odette’s antics.

Marjorie, Ashley, and Kimberlee stood under the gazebo open-mouthed, clutching their bouquets of painted flowers. What were they waiting for? The “kiss the bride” part? Because the only thing Stu would be kissing today was ass. Then Mom threw an emergency can of hairspray at Mrs. Boldt and it hit Ashley instead. Kimberlee began screeching while Ashley swayed a little, and one of the groomsmen smacked her hand away when she reached out for support. What a charmer. Marjorie wisely decided to get the hell out of there, but not so wisely, she did that by running past me. I stuck my foot out, and she shrieked as she tripped and fell head first into the non-koi pond.

“Peons, one, pageant girls, nil,” I told her as the photographer snapped away with manic glee. Well, he’d been paid to take pictures, hadn’t he?

“What’s happening?” Chas sobbed. “I don’t like this.”

Buckley had abandoned her to help Stu, so Hawk scooped her up in one arm and wrapped the other around me.

“What time are they serving the hors d’oeuvres?” he asked.

I choked out a laugh.

“Who knows? Maybe never.”

“Then why don’t we take a walk to the café? We can return the keys to the bike on the way.”

“That’s the best idea I’ve heard all day.”

* * *

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for everything I said and did over the past decade. I just… If you’re not part of the team, you’re a target, and I was scared. Scared of being pushed out, of being ostracised and left with nothing.” Clarice took another gulp of wine. “I’m not smart like you, Aggie.”

“It’s Agatha.”

“Uh, right. Agatha.”

“And it was more than ten years. You’ve been mean to me for most of my life.”

“I really am sorry.”

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