For the first time, I feel it—the guilt. The unwavering guilt. It clutches my chest and draws the breath from my lungs with its grip. I place a hand over my heart, because I never thought for a single moment I would regret what I did, but right here, right now, I do. I took someone from him, someone who to me was an evil monster, but to him, was his entire world.
I can never tell him.
Never.
“Can’t you just let Marek take over, work with him, keep it all going? She trusted him, why can’t you?”
“She didn’t trust him,” Death grinds out. “Haven’t you ever heard of keep your friends close and your enemies closer? Your mother wasn’t stupid, she knew it was better to have him on her side.”
Of course.
She had a reason for everything.
“I can’t force you to hear me, Death, but I do ask that you at least consider what I’m asking you.”
“I will never let him take this from me, Acacia. Nothing you say will change my mind.”
I exhale. “I figured. I just wanted to warn you, so you at least knew what was coming.”
“I must know,” Death murmurs, “why you’re willing to let him.”
There goes that guilt again.
I can’t ever tell him the real reason.
“Because without her here, I can finally be free. I don’t want this life, Death. He is letting me step away from it.”
I don’t actually know if he will, yet, but it’s a valid reason and hopefully enough to have him not asking questions.
“She built this empire for you.”
I could laugh, but that wouldn’t go down well.
“In doing that, she forgot how to be a mother.”
“She did a lot of things wrong, but she did love you.”
I shake my head. “Your version and my version of love differ. You don’t hurt those you love.”
His jaw tightens, but he doesn’t say anything more on the matter.
“You’re making a deal with the devil for your freedom, you know that, don’t you?”
I nod. “I know, but he can take this away from me.”
“You don’t think I can?”
I wish I could say I did, but Death doesn’t have the power that Marek has, and I know it. He would always need something from me. Marek, he doesn’t. He needs nobody but himself and he will take this and make it into something so powerful nobody would ever dare mess with it. Death doesn’t have that power; half of the people here will go with Marek and not even blink.
“No,” I tell him honestly.
“You’re making a mistake.”
I reach out, placing my hand flat on his chest. It’s the only time I’ve ever laid a hand on him, and he flinches when I do. “Maybe. I hope you stay safe, Death.”
With that, I turn and leave.
I don’t say goodbye, I wasn’t made for them.