Page 62 of Mex

“Please,” I plead, hanging onto my orgasm, not wanting to let it go.

He leans in even closer, until his lips just barely brush mine. For a moment, we stand face to face, our breaths combining, our lips so softly touching it’s almost just a fantasy. I gasp as the orgasm nears and I know I can’t hold on much longer. The moment he presses his forehead to mine, it’s over for me. I explode with a cry and my body trembles against his as wave after wave of pleasure rushes to the surface.

Only when the shudders stop does he remove his hand. He reaches for the food again, picking up some more and bringing it to my lips. I’m panting, but that doesn’t stop me from accepting it. Leaning in, his lips graze my cheek as he murmurs, “It’ll be ready soon.”

Then, just like that, our moment is over.

With trembling legs, I go and fetch myself another drink before leaving the house.

By the time I get to the fire, my heart is aching.

It’s a desperate ache, one that begs me to just say what it is I’m thinking, to tell him that something is growing inside me, but it’s my head that stops me. I know better. That will only end in tragedy and pain. It’ll never be the love story I want it to be. It doesn’t matter how much I want it, or how desperately I seek it, I can never be anything more to him than a casual fuck to waste time.

Swallowing a large sip of vodka and orange, I sit down by the fire. Bonnie scoots over next to me, clearly noticing the blank expression on my face as I get lost in a world of thoughts I can’t contain.

“Why are you so nice to me?” I ask her, very randomly. “I mean, I’m the enemy, technically, yet you never once treated me like it. Why is that?”

Bonnie shrugs. “I didn’t feel it. I’ve met so many people, especially in the job I do, and I can tell when someone is awful from the moment I meet them. I didn’t feel that with you. I don’t know what it was, but I just don’t think you’re as bad as you’d like to make out. I think, instead, you were born into a world, and you are a product of that world. It doesn’t make you a monster.”

“What if you were wrong?”

She laughs. “I’m rarely wrong, and in this case, I certainly wasn’t.”

I smile, unable to stop it. “I’m starting to see why you broke through Western’s shell. It takes an incredible human to see past darkness.”

She nudges me with her shoulder, a light smile on her face. “Talk to me about Mex.”

I shake my head. “There is nothing to talk about.”

“Oh, honey, that’s a lie. I walked in to get a drink and the way he was up against you, holy damn, I could feel the tension in the room. The man wants you; it’s written all over his face.”

Oh, how wrong she is.

I shrug. “Too bad for him.”

Bonnie nudges me again. “You know, around here, you don’t have to pretend like you don’t feel anything. You’re allowed to have emotions—you are human after all. Right?”

She pokes my arm, as if testing to see if I’m real. I laugh. “As far as I know I am.”

“Then don’t hide your feelings. If you like him ... tell him.”

I take another sip. “That will do no good. I wish I could explain why, but I can’t. All you need to know is Mex and I ... It’s never going to happen.”

“I said that about Colt and me,” Myla appears, sitting down beside me on the log. “And here we are.”

“Stop eavesdropping,” I tease.

Myla laughs. “Absolutely not.”

“Food is up.”

Mex’s voice booms across the yard, and we all turn to see him on the porch, staring down at us.

“Oh, finally.” Bonnie leaps up. “Let’s eat.”

Yes.

Let’s.

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