Page 84 of Mex

“You feelin’ good?”

Pulling back, his eyes search my face.

“Not too bad,” I admit. “Though the nurse told me it’s probably the pain meds.”

He nods, half his mouth tipping up in a smile. “They got good shit here.”

I laugh weakly. “So I’ve heard.”

“You scared me back there,” he tells me, reaching for a strand of hair and tucking it behind my ear, “never seen someone so fuckin’ broken.”

I look away, tears burning under my eyelids.

For a moment there, when I was sitting on that floor, I truly wanted the world to end. Formyworld to end. I know it isn’t right, but I could feel nothing but the desperation to make the pain go away. It was quite possibly my weakest moment, but at the same time, it was my strongest. Being at rock bottom will do that to you. Give you the kind of power you need to move forward.

Or it’ll break you.

“It was a set-up,” I tell Mex. “Marek set me up. I thought Death was going to kill me, so I killed him in return, but all along, he was doing it to set me free. He knew I had to hurt him for my freedom, and so he chose to try and make that as easy as possible on me. Even after all I did. He still protected me.”

“He did that because he loves you.”

Swallowing, I nod.

I know Death did it because he loved me. For the first time in my life, someone picked me. He could have killed me for taking my mother's life, but instead he decided I was worth setting free. He chose me over her. Not only that, but he gave me something that I can never get back – a father.

“I killed him,” I whisper.

“He was goin’ to die anyway. You gave him the chance to do it his way. Don’t hang onto that forever. He wanted to give you this, now it’s up to you to do the best you can with it.”

“I let everyone down.”

He cups my face, tipping his head back. “It’s finished.”

“You hate me, Mex. I saw it in your eyes. I hurt you and that can never be undone. You’ll forever look at me and wonder if I’m telling you the truth.”

“You’re right,” he murmurs, running his thumb over my skin, still cupping my chin. “You did hurt me, and I was fuckin’ wild, but I get it. Doesn’t mean I like it, but I get it. You gave us something’ we have been lookin’ for for a long time, and I think because of that, we can call it even.”

“I didn’t get the information Western wanted.”

“We’ll find it.”

“What does this mean,” I dare to ask. “Can you forgive me?”

“Be wrong to assume that we’re the only ones who should be offerin’ forgiveness. I treated you bad, so I could ask the same thing.”

I place my hand over his. “I think I can forgive you. It depends, though...”

“On what?”

“How many orgasms you can give me.”

A low chuckle as he leans in, pressing his lips to mine. “I can manage a few.”

“My body is a big old mess. That nurse has probably never seen so many scars and injuries.”

Pulling back, he presses his forehead to mine. “Your scars tell a story, embrace them.”

“And oh, what a story it is.”