Page 29 of Liv Parrish

The rest of the week follows much the same pattern, work during the day and then dinner with Heath, after which we explore each other’s bodies late into the night and again before dawn, before he leaves to go back to his own apartment to prepare for a new day.

“Do you still live with your parents?” I watch him as he gets dressed, but at my question he freezes, then turns to face me with a mixture of amusement and confusion on his face.

“God, no. My parents live in San Diego. Why do you ask?”

“It’s just, you’ve never invited me to your place before. For all I know, you live in a cave somewhere, or worse, someone’s basement.” Of course, that would never be the case, not for a man like Heath, but somehow the thought that there are things he chooses not to share with me has taken hold, leaving me feeling needy and insecure. Ugh!

“I’m not hiding anything from you, if that’s what you’re thinking. It’s a bachelor pad, the place where I eat, sleep, and shower. I didn’t think you’d be interested in seeing it.”

“Heath, it’s your home so of course I’d want to see it, if you want to show it to me.”

“Baby, you’re my home now. My place isn’t even a distant second.” Aaand, I’m melting again. God, I’m such a girl sometimes. Ren would be so disappointed. “But I can see this means something to you, so how about you come to my place tonight and I’ll cook dinner for a change?”

“You cook?” He chuckles at my obvious excitement.

“Bachelor, remember? And I’ve made you breakfast a few times. I know my way around a kitchen.” Amongst other things, I’m tempted so say out loud, but he’s already running late.

“So, you’re saying I’m getting bacon, eggs, and French toast for dinner.”

“Hey, brinner is one of the best meals ever invented. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.”

“I can’t wait.” Because who doesn’t like breakfast for dinner.

§§§

Heath sent me a text with his address and when I get there, I discover it’s exactly as he described it, an apartment uptown, all open plan with huge leather couches in the lounge area, one of them placed just so in front of the biggest flatscreen I’ve ever seen. There’s also a gorgeous fireplace that has clearly never been used, a modern kitchen and two bedrooms, of which only the master is furnished. The floors are a dark wood throughout, the walls a masculine grey and the furnishings are either black or some shade of blue. There’s no artwork on the walls or any other decorative elements, only a few photographs of family and friends in pewter frames in his bedroom. Overall, the apartment is … nice, a little cold maybe, but the one redeeming feature is the floor-to-ceiling window with a spectacular view of the city. I’m drawn to it instantly.

“So, what do you think?” He stands behind me, his arms circling around my waist, pulling me into his chest. He’s still in his business suit, his hair slightly disheveled and his tie askew, but our reflection in the glass casts a perfect image of the man I … God, what am I thinking? The man I’m crazy about. That’s true enough.

“This view is fantastic.” He chuckles softly into my ear.

“That bad, huh? I tried to warn you. As for the view, nothing beats what I see every time I look at you, Liv. I’m glad you’re here, I should have invited you sooner, but maybe now you see why I love coming to you instead. This place has never been my home. You are my warmth; you bring color to my life and music to my soul.” He lifts my chin so that I’m forced to meet his eyes in the window’s reflection. “I’m in love with you, Liv Parrish and the little that I have, I lay at your feet.” My heart stutters and then takes off at a frantic gallop so loud I’m sure he must be able to hear it. He turns me slowly so that I’m facing him, cups my face in his palms and kisses me until I forget that I didn’t say the words back to him.

We eat our dinner at the marble kitchen counter, perched on bar stools that are surprisingly comfortable considering they look like fashion accessories rather than furniture. Heath’s brinner is delicious, a frittata filled with fresh veggies and extra bacon on the side and conversation flows easily while we enjoy our meal. It’s almost as if the exchange by the window didn’t happen and who knows, maybe I did imagine it because reality could never be that perfect … I’m in love with you and the little that I have, I lay at your feet … He wasn’t just referring to material possessions either. He has made no secret of the fact that he’s all in with our relationship, so all I have to do is accept it, accept him. Sitting here, I’m finding it easier to see what he sees, and it doesn’t scare me as much as it used to. Maybe this is what it took, seeing what our lives looked like separately and comparing it to what we have when we are together.

Once we’ve cleaned the kitchen, he leads me over to the couch where he pulls me down on his lap and holds me close to his chest. Neither of us speak for a few minutes, savoring the closeness and comfort we draw from each other. Heath took a quick shower before he started cooking, and his clean smell fills the air so that I’m completely surrounded by him. If there is a more perfect place on earth, I’m not interested in finding it.

“Baby, I love having you in my arms.” I don’t respond, just moan softly into his neck which causes him to grow hard beneath me. “There’s nothing I want more than to drag you to my bed right this second, but I want to talk a bit first.” I lift my head so that I can meet his eyes, but I’m unable to read his expression. It’s a mixture of tenderness, concern and something darker … I force myself to keep still, keep my voice steady.

“Is something wrong?” God, I should have known. Everything was just too perfect, wasn’t it?

“I want you to tell me what happened between our first meeting and the next time I came to see you at your apartment.” His voice is so gentle, you might think it’s merely a request, but I know better. Why would he bring this up now? Was all of this just an act to get me to open up to him? Pretty words and good food to make me more agreeable. And dammit, it worked too. He must see on my face that I’m ready to bolt because he tightens his arms around me, which only adds to my sudden panic. Breathing becomes more difficult as I start pushing against his chest.

“Heath, please let me go.” He does so immediately, and I jump up off his lap and start pacing before turning to the door, taking a few steps in that direction as if on autopilot and then stop and look back at him now standing next to the couch. “Was this your plan all along? To bring me here so that you can question me? And why does it matter?”

“Baby, listen to me. It matters. You were attacked, twice! You have trouble sleeping and when you do eventually fall asleep, you have nightmares that make me want to punch someone, but I’m not asking this for me. You need to talk about it, because that’s the only way you can move past it.”

“It sounds like you’ve done a fair amount of talking about me already. You just can’t stop yourself, can you? Digging into my life like it’s your right to do so. But I have moved past it! I can’t control my dreams, Heath. Believe me, if I could …” I let out a frustrated breath, my hands clenched into fists by my side. “I want you to tell me something.” He tenses where he stands but nods his head in agreement. “Am I just another assignment to you? Someone who needs to be rescued because I’m not dealing with my issues quickly enough. Or is it because I helped you so now you feel you need to return the favor?”

“What? No! I’m in love with you, Liv. Those aren’t words I throw around to make a point. I love you!” And I can see he means it, but …

“But you think I need to be protected. I’m the helpless little woman who needs a man to take care of her.”

“I never said that, but you know what? There are worse things in this world, and I’ll tell you a secret. Men like us, we want that, we want to be needed. You think Wyatt is any different? Or Riley? That night you called Fortress, you needed something. I know you won’t admit it, but it’s true and you know it. You couldn’t sleep, so you reached out and Riley came running because he knew it too. Don’t you see, Liv? We want to be needed, and it’s not a bad thing. I know your ex hurt you, more than you’ll probably ever tell me, but I’m not David. I will never do that to you, because I don’t just want you, I need you too. Now it’s up to you to decide what you’re going to do with that.” I’m stunned silent, my mind refusing to take everything in, even though I know I must. I might not get the chance again. Could I really have gotten it so wrong? And am I willing to let Heath go because of how David treated me?

“I’m scared.” It’s barely a sound from my lips but hangs like a heavy fog in the air.

“Baby, I know. You’ve been on your own for so long, dragging that broken heart behind you like an anchor, but don’t you think it’s time to cut yourself free? Try something different and take a chance on someone new?”

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