On some level I understand that what David did to me was not my fault, but I was so young at the time, in every way that mattered, not just in love. Even though my family was small, our love for each other was never tested. It was always a given like the sun rising in the morning, but then Mom died so suddenly, and Luke left, and I was alone. Once David and I began dating, he became my everything until the accident happened …
It was the kind of devastation you only ever see on the news, the building completely engulfed in fire, flames reaching into the sky and black smoke visible from miles away. David’s crew had been fighting for hours and was finally starting to make some headway when he and two others were sent inside the structure. I still don’t know exactly what happened, but a beam fell on him, trapping him in the flames and debris. I think, if it was just the burn scars, we might have been okay. David was never vain or particular about his appearance and neither am I. Our connection went so much deeper than just the physical, but the injury sustained to his back landed him in a wheelchair and that was always his line in the sand. He would not be a burden to anyone, especially the people he loved. Stupidly I thought this excluded me. How could it not? We were engaged! We had promised our lives to each other, but of course I was wrong, and he left, and I was alone again. I left Austin shortly afterwards, unable to face the memories of our life together, or the broken promise of a future I would never have, and drifted from town to town, working in restaurants or diners before moving on to the next state. I avoided attachments at all costs, and even went so far as to dodge Luke’s attempts to check up on me as they were laced with misplaced guilt I had no idea how to assuage. It worked well enough until I ended up here. I have no idea what makes this city different from all the others. Maybe it was just time for a change. Or maybe it was Ren and Evan inviting me into their little circle and finding work at Stopgap. Being around those kids showed me how important it is to have someone looking out for you. Either way, it was time to settle down and maybe now, taking this chance might not feel like such a big risk.
Heath stayed long enough to have coffee, before rushing off to his place to get ready for the day. He also made sure to kiss me goodbye in such a way that I can still feel his lips on mine even now, hours later. I’m at Stopgap, preparing to help a small group of middle schoolers with their homework when Wyatt comes strolling in as if he owns the place. These men!
“Hey, Little Pain, how’s it going? Uh, wait. No need to answer that question. If your smile gets any wider, you’ll be able to lick your own ear.” He flips a strand of my hair over my shoulder and then flicks my ear, leaving me stunned for a moment. In the short time that I’ve known Wyatt, he has never visited the center and he has definitely never initiated physical contact beyond what was necessary in that moment.
“Eew, thanks for that visual. What are you doing here?” I take a tiny step back, hoping he won’t notice my attempt at creating a little distance, but his eyes narrow slightly.
“You don’t sound happy to see me.” Strangely he doesn’t look like he’s teasing me, but like this really bothers him.
“It’s not that. I just found out you’ve been leading a double life and I wasn’t sure you wanted me involved in either of them, so I’m a little surprised to see you, that’s all.” He drops his head, sighs and then raises his eyes to mine again.
“I’m sorry, Liv. I couldn’t tell you. You were already putting yourself in enough danger without getting more involved with me. I had to keep you at a distance.” I had to keep you at a distance. Right. Best to keep me in my place, easy and uncomplicated.
“So, the accent’s fake? Pity, I think that was my favorite thing about you.” That gets me a smile.
“You liked that, did you? Thought it was sexy? Was I your sexy Sean Connery? All double-oh-saving-your-ass sexy?” His brows dance on his forehead as I burst out laughing and as much as I’d like to, I can’t stay mad at him. He was doing what he thought was best, trying to protect me.
“Please stop saying sexy. And I believe Sean Connery is Scottish. Besides, Daniel Craig is the best 007. Anyway, you don’t have to worry about me. Last time I saw you, you were the one who needed help, so what’s up with that? Have you stopped working for the mob?” He looks away again.
“It’s complicated. That’s not exactly the kind of life you can just walk away from, especially if your reason for being there in the first place was being undercover, but I’m trying to do what I can to get out without causing too many waves. The guys from Fortress are helping, so it should be okay.”
“Right,” I reply, because there’s not really much more to say about that, but he cocks a brow at me, obviously confused by my tone.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing! It’s just that I’m still a little thrown by the whole Nick/Wyatt thing. And then there’s the connection between you and Heath. I don’t know, it’s just strange how different parts of my life are suddenly overlapping.”
“Look, the Nick/Wyatt thing doesn’t have to be a big deal. Being Nick was a necessary evil, but now you know, so no more secrets, okay? And I’ll still be keeping an eye on you just in case people I’ve been involved with in the past get the idea that they can come after you. Heath has already read me the riot act, so there won’t be any more callouts for you to come and help me at odd hours.” He says this with a smile, like it’s supposed to make me happy or something. It doesn’t. I liked helping him. I like knowing I make a difference, even in the smallest way, but it looks like the decision has already been made for me.
“Okay. Well, I need to get done here before the kids arrive. Take care, Wyatt.” I start to turn away from him, but he grabs hold of my arm and gently turns me back to him.
“Hey, this isn’t goodbye. I get the feeling I’ve put my foot in it, but I don’t know how.”
“No, it’s fine. I just–” A group of boys come rushing into the room, and then screech to a halt when they spot Wyatt. “Come in guys, take a seat. We’ll get started in a moment.” I turn back to Wyatt. “I need to get to work. We can talk later.” I can see he’s not ready to walk out yet, but I don’t give him the choice to stay, preferring to focus on the children who do need my help, rather than the man who doesn’t. And in that moment, I feel more like a child myself than the actual children I’m meant to help, but what can you do?
So, here’s something I didn’t know before; men talk to their male friends the same way women do to theirs. I mean about relationships, not that Wyatt and I had a relationship as such, and maybe it’s more because he was worried about getting into trouble with Heath. I don’t know. What I do know is that he must have talked to Heath shortly after his visit to Stopgap because I received this message about an hour later.
Heath: Hey! I miss you. Everything going okay at work?
Not transparent at all.
Me: All good. Just in the middle of a tutoring session. Chat later
I try not to think too much on what Wyatt said for the rest of the day. I mean, I should probably be happy that I won’t have to go out in the middle of the night to help him or that I won’t be in any danger. Maybe it’s because this is all still so new, being with Heath and having him interfere in my life in this way. That’s all I can think of. I know we’ll have to talk about it, and I’m not looking forward to that conversation, but best to get it out in the open now before it becomes a bigger problem that could have been avoided.
The light is still on in the clinic when I get home after work, so I decide to go in and have a chat with Ren. She’s busy restocking cabinets with cleaning supplies so I dump my things in a corner and start helping.
“Hey, you, how are things going here?” She turns to me with a smile, but there’s a weariness in her eyes I’m not sure is all work related. For as outgoing as she is, she’s also immensely private, maybe even more so than I am, and getting her to confide in me took every ounce of patience I had. It was worth it though and solidified our friendship.
“You know how it is, same old same old. The better question is how are things with you? Last time I saw you there was a gorgeous man at your apartment who looked like he wanted to consume you like his last meal. How did that go?” I can feel myself blush and Ren’s smile grows wider. “Ah, that good, huh? God, I’m so jealous. I haven’t had a good o–”
“Ren! I don’t need to know that. Things went … well, I think.”
“You think? How can you not know? I mean, he looks like the kind of guy who knows his way around the female form and can show you a trick or two. You did have an orgasm, right?”
“Ren! Seriously, I’m not telling you that.”