Page 8 of My Heart for Yours

Jay’s house is huge and immaculately cared for which seems at odds with his bachelor status. There are also about a dozen or more cars parked out front and in the road, so at least I’m not one of the first to arrive. I wonder if Tinsley is here yet. Well, time to go in and find out. I walk up to the front porch and am just about to knock when the door opens and a couple step outside. The man holds the door open for me and I walk in and am immediately surrounded by people laughing and obviously having a good time. Just relax and mingle, Lisa. It’s not hard. People do this every day.

I move further into Jay’s home while scanning the living area for him or Tinsley but before I can spot either of them, I see Shane and a girl who looks a lot like Tinsley in an embrace and kissing. He has a girlfriend! Of course, he does. God, I’m so stupid, wasting my time dreaming about a guy who hasn’t given me a second thought. I was actually worried about what he might say or do today, but he doesn’t care. At least not about me. I don’t know why, but I feel like I can’t catch my breath and start to panic. I need to get out of here and even though I’m sure I hear someone call my name, I rush for the door and head back to my Jeep. Tinsley appears next to me, clearly worried about my sudden escape, but the words to reassure her that I’m okay won’t come out. She is saying something about “that bitch Cara” but before I can think to ask any questions, I hear Shane’s voice calling out to me. Just calm down. At least if he makes a scene we’re already outside, so not the worst thing that could happen. But this is my chance! If I can just get my brain and mouth to work together, I can talk to him and explain why I’m still here. Just stop thinking about the blonde in his arms. Shane steps closer and after a quick exchange between him and Tinsley she goes back into the house, leaving us alone in Jay’s driveway. For the life of me I cannot describe the look on Shane’s face right now, there is excitement which make his blue eyes sparkle, but the wrinkle between his brows tells me he is worried about something and as much as I want to put his mind at ease, the words won’t come because … “she’s not the girl I want”.

Shane

I can see from the utterly bewildered look on her face that she doesn’t accept what I’m saying, and I can’t blame her. Our past interactions have been anything but friendly and I need to set the record straight.

“Will you come with me? My place is just a few minutes away, or if you’d be more comfortable at the diner we can go there.” Please don’t let her pick the diner? Why did I even suggest that? Because luring her to your house is a sleazy move, idiot. I almost cross my fingers while I wait for her reply, but she doesn’t say anything. “My bar is also empty, so we’ll have a quiet place to talk there if you prefer.” I hold my breath while I wait for her to consider the options and almost fall to my knees in thanks when she finally decides on the bar.

We drive over in separate vehicles and I try to use this time to formulate what I’m going to say to her, but my brain is stubbornly refusing to cooperate. The only thought it is willing to process in this moment and on repeat is She’s here, she’s here, she’s here. I feel energized, like I could run a marathon without breaking a sweat and I know the sole reason for this is the woman in the Jeep behind me. I need to calm down. I cannot screw up this opportunity, so I take a couple of deep breaths and park my truck. Then I jump out and go to help her out of her Jeep.

We walk into the bar together and I switch on a few lights, just enough to light up the booths which line the back and side walls. I motion for her to take a seat in one of them and then offer her something to drink, which she declines. Okay then, time to get this show on the road. I sit down across from her and immediately notice her wringing her hands while a small frown plays on her forehead. She doesn’t make eye contact either. Shit, this isn’t good. She opens her mouth to speak, but I hold up a hand.

“Do you mind if I go first?” She nods, but at least the hand wringing has stopped, so I take that as a positive sign. I take another deep breath. “I know I didn’t make the best first impression that night we met. I’ve been dealing with some stuff … uh no, that’s not true. I’ve been avoiding dealing with some stuff which has finally caught up with me and came to a head that night. I was incredibly rude towards you and for that I apologize.” I stop and look her in the eye to show her I’m sincere but also to try and see where her head is at. She must be an ace poker player because I cannot read her now even if my life depends on it. All I get is a softly spoken, “Thank you,” so I forge ahead. “I must admit that phone call did worry me, but the way I dealt with it was wrong. I didn’t give you a chance to explain and again, I’m truly sorry. The last thing I want is for you to think I want you to leave town. In fact,” I look her straight in the eye again, “I really want you to stay, Lisa.”

She stares at me wide eyed for a moment before whispering, “But you were right though. You don’t know anything about me, and the truth is I am in trouble. I should have left, and I was going to but then I ran into Jay and he convinced me to stay and then I met Tinsley and explored more of the town and the last thing I wanted to do was leave.” She stops to take a breath, so I take the chance to speak.

“Stay then. Let’s get to know each other and maybe I can help with whatever trouble you are in.” The small frown is back, and I wonder what part of what I said is giving her pause. Shit, is it guy trouble? Does she have someone back home that she wants to get away from?

Before I can ask, she says, “You want to be friends?” What? It never occurred to me that she would come to that conclusion. Does she honestly not feel this attraction between us? To test my theory, I gently reach out and lay my hand over hers resting on the table between us. Goosebumps instantly break out on her arm and the same current runs straight through me. I knew it! I almost want to cheer but the freaked-out look on Lisa’s face tells me I need to take this slow.

“No Lisa, I think there is something more between us and I want to explore that with you. I’m really hoping you feel the same way.” I don’t say it as a question because I want her to think about it before answering, before brushing me off like I suspect she might do.

She lowers her eyes and my heart sinks. Dammit!

“I’m not very good at this stuff … relationships I mean.” She looks so unsure that I don’t doubt she believes what she’s saying, even though I find it impossible to believe. She’s beautiful, and so much more besides. Surely there must have been men in her past who told her everyday they were together. Not that I want to think about that. For my own sanity I definitely should not think of her with other men.

“That’s why we should get to know each other because believe me, I’m not great at it either.” This makes her look up at me.

“Tinsley mentioned you were in a relationship before.” Shit, it never even occurred to me that someone else might tell her about my past. I try to keep the concern out of my voice, because she should hear the truth from me.

“You talked about me?” She blushes and if I didn’t know before I sure as hell do now. I can’t let this woman go, it’s just not an option anymore.

“Not like that. I mentioned that I met you here and was going to Jay’s today. She said I kind of look like the girl you were involved with before.” That seems to bother her and the need to reassure her overtakes everything else.

“Not really. I mean, there are some similarities but that’s not what’s important. It’s who you are that I find attractive and I want to know more. No, I want to know everything.” She looks stunned so I take hold of her hand that is still lying beneath mine. “Say something," I whisper.

“I don’t know where to begin. I think my brain might explode.” She’s not joking. In fact, if I had to guess from the look on her face, I would say she is trying to figure out a way to run out of the bar and just keep going.

“Look, we don’t have to do this right now. You’re still going to be in town for a couple of days, right?” This has been bothering me because I always knew she was just passing through and now I can’t imagine her leaving and never seeing her again.

“Yes, the plan was to stay until New Year’s …” She sounds uncertain, like this plan could change at any minute.

“Great, we have loads of time then. So, let’s park this for now and go back to Jay’s. Have some fun. What do you say?” She still looks unsure but agrees with a nod and a smile. I’ll take it.

Lisa

I wasn’t joking, I think my brain is going to explode. Shane wants to explore this attraction between us and all I can think is he doesn’t want me to leave! These thoughts circle in a never-ending loop, or at least until we reach Jay’s house. Neither one of us says anything but I sense Shane glancing over at me a couple of times during the drive over. Once we get there, he opens the truck’s door for me and helps me to the ground, his hand lingering on my waist for a couple of seconds longer than necessary, and I must admit I don’t hate it. He smiles at me, takes my hand, and leads me into the house where we practically collide with Tinsley and a tall good-looking guy who I assume must be her boyfriend, Aaron. Shane confirms this by introducing us, after which Tinsley pulls me aside.

“What happened? You guys were gone for almost an hour. Where did you go? Tell me everything!” I’m so taken aback by her excitement that I burst out laughing.

“Slow down. We just went to his bar and talked. He apologized for his behavior when we met, and I forgave him. That’s it.” She stares at me dubiously.

“I don’t believe you; you’re blushing. Now tell me what else happened.” I don’t look her in the eye because I know she’s going to be able to read me like a book.

“Seriously, that’s it. We’re going to spend some more time together while I’m in town and see how things go, but that’s it. Just getting to know each other.” She still looks like she doesn’t believe me but concedes.

“Okay, if you say so.” She winks at me and her smile takes over her whole face, and I can see she’s truly happy for me. It’s such an unfamiliar feeling that I almost choke up and decide to find a bathroom before I start blubbering and embarrass myself. No matter what happens between Shane and me, I will never take Tinsley’s friendship for granted.

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