Page 5 of My Heart for Yours

“I won the lottery. Had nothing better to do.” I say it with as little emotion in my voice as I can manage, even though I still get a little thrill every time I think about my current bank balance.

“Bullshit, nobody wins the lottery. It’s all rigged,” he shoots back.

“That’s what I thought too, but here I am.” He considers this for a moment. “So how much did you win?” I try to look offended, but our banter is easy, almost familiar even though I’ve never had this with anyone else.

“That is a very inappropriate question to ask.” He doesn’t seem bothered by this at all.

“Yeah, I’m not really known for being appropriate. So?” He looks at me expectantly.

“I’m not answering! Ask me something else.” I mean really, does he think I’m just going to blurt it out?

“Nah, you’re no fun.” For a moment I think he has changed his mind about hanging out with me and I have to stop myself from showing the disappointment that suddenly rushes over me, but then I get a “Gotcha!” from him and instantly the ease and familiarity are back.

“I’m having some friends over on Sunday for a pre-Christmas, pre-festival get-together. You should come.” I guess he was serious about sharing his friends after all and it sounds like fun, so I have no problem accepting the invitation.

Shane

The rest of the day passes without much excitement and soon I’m back at the bar pulling a shift so that Reid can have the night off. The last person I expect to see is my brother Travis, but here he is, sitting across from me at the bar, ordering a beer. He doesn’t waste any time letting me know why he came by.

“I hear you and Derick finally talked.” Ah yes, of all my brothers, he and Derick are the closest to each other, much like Jay and I, so I should have expected this. What I did not expect was to still feel judged, as if it’s my fault this got drawn out as long as it did. And maybe it is, but not only did I have to deal with the betrayal of my fiancé and my brother, but also with her confession and subsequent death in a car accident a day later. It was like I was caught in a riptide trying to sweep me under while wave after wave broke over my head. I never got any closure with Layla and that has been the hardest to deal with, not getting any answers. It has kept me from moving on with my life, where my brother was concerned and with other women. There hasn’t been anyone in two years, not counting the occasional hook-up which was more about scratching an itch than making a connection. Maybe now that I’ve taken the first step with Derick, I can try the relationship thing again, but that’s a big maybe.

“Yeah, we worked things out.” That sounds like an oversimplification but it’s true none the less. Derick has his own guilt to deal with and I’m not going to add my relationship issues to the mix. I had my part in what happened and that’s for me to deal with.

Travis stares at me for a moment, as if trying to determine if I’m being sincere or not and then nods his head in acceptance.

“Good.” That’s it, that’s all I get. I consider making conversation, but Travis looks like he’s ready to leave. I don’t think he really feels comfortable here, almost like he’s being disrespectful of Derick and his drinking problem. If Luke is the hometown hero and Jay is the fun guy, that would make Travis Mr. Responsible. He took over the construction business from Dad when Dad retired a few years ago, cementing his place as the responsible son, unlike me who went off script and bought a bar. I knew from an early age that the family business was not for me. I spent way too much time on building sites growing up to know that I wanted something different. When the bar went up for sale three years ago it was like a light went on for me. Everything fell into place and I became a business owner in my own right. I am solely responsible for its success and I love it.

Travis gets up to leave and is just about to step out the door when he turns back to me. “You coming to Jay’s on Sunday?” I smirk. The bar is closed on Sundays and Jay’s get-togethers are always fun. The man knows how to entertain.

“I’ll be there.” He gives a quick nod, then leaves and I immediately feel relieved. It occurs to me that my relationship with Derick might not be the only one that needs some work.

Hours later the bar is all but empty and I’m about to start closing when Cara walks in. Shit, I do not have the energy to deal with her tonight. She sits down in front of me with a flirty smile that causes my neck to itch and I have to make a conscious effort not to let my discomfort show.

“Hello Shane. It’s been a while. You look good.” She bats her eyelashes at me, and I wonder if that’s supposed to impress me in some way.

“Hey Cara, what can I get you?” I try to keep the agitation from my voice, but it’s been a long day and I’m tired. The conversation with Lisa this morning feels like it happened days ago and then there was Derick and Travis, not that my talk with Travis could really be counted as a conversation, but it took its toll none the less.

Cara on the other hand looks like she’s just gotten ready for a night out. She’s wearing a sparkly, tight sweater with a low neckline designed to draw attention to her cleavage and jeans so tight I have to wonder how she plans on getting them off later. Maybe that’s where I’m supposed to come in? Ha, not if she was the last woman left on earth.

Instead of appreciating the view in front of me, my mind wanders to another figure in a similar outfit, although the sweater was much more modest, and the jeans didn’t look like they were impeding movement or blood flow. I wonder where she is now. If she still thinks I’m a jerk. Probably. Nah, definitely. Oh well, I’m going to have to live with that regret because Lisa is long gone, and I need to deal with Cara.

“Make me a Cosmo, will you?” She’s all smiles but I feel nothing at all, no interest, no attraction.

“Sure.” I set about my task while Cara stares at me like I’m a slab of prime beef. Plenty of women have told me that I’m attractive so the look is nothing new, but she’s not even trying to be subtle. “I hear you’re not dating anyone at the moment. Is that true?” Again, not subtle. I place her drink in front of her and then take a step back, creating as much distance between us as the bar will allow.

“Yeah, just concentrating on business at the moment.” See, nothing for you here, so do me a favor and move along. Thank God for filters!

“Oh, so it has nothing to do with Layla then. You’re over her.” She says this more as a statement than a question, giving herself permission to pursue the topic … and me.

For a moment I’m completely stunned. Apart from my family and one or two close friends, no one has come right out and asked me about Layla. Even those hook-ups seemed to understand that we would be sharing our bodies and nothing else, no personal details. But I was never one for casual relationships without any connection or substance, so it didn’t happen often. Talking about her now with Cara felt wrong on every level.

“No, it’s not Layla.” I say maybe a bit more forcefully than I intended, but I really do not want to discuss this any further, definitely not with Cara. She, of course, does not get the message.

“I’m so glad to hear you say that. She was never right for you. Everybody could see that. She didn’t understand what you needed from your relationship.” I just stand there, too shocked to say anything. “Not like I do”, she purrs but I cut her off.

“Layla was your best friend. Hell, we were friends too. Why are you saying this?” She smiles once more, and I start to get this weird vibe from her. Time to cut this short, but before I can say anything, she answers me.

“Never mind, I can see you’re tired. We can talk again tomorrow, or whenever. Just give me a call. My number hasn’t changed.” She gives me a wink and then leaves the bar.

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