Page 28 of My Heart for Yours

The fresh air doesn’t help. I’ve walked for about half an hour and if anything, I feel worse. I find a bench and collapse onto it, dropping my head between my knees. Not very dignified, but better than throwing up in public, I’m willing to bet. I sit like that for a minute with my eyes closed when I hear someone.

“Hey, are you okay?” It’s a man’s voice, not too close but low and tinged with concern. “Do you want me to call someone for you?” Now I open my eyes and stare straight into a pair of muscular, tanned thighs, dressed in athletic shorts that lead down to one tanned calf and one… prosthetic leg. My eyes shoot up to the stranger’s face and I’m greeted with a kind smile. “Hey,” he says again and this time I manage to reply.

“Hi, I’m sorry. I’m okay, just feeling a little woozy. I didn’t mean to …” I glance down again, and he seems to catch my drift.

“No worries, I’m still getting used to it too. Mind if I sit?” By way of response, I move up to make space for him and he sits down, stretching his legs out in front of him. “Thanks. I’m Sam by the way. Are you sure you’re okay? You look awfully pale.” Shit, I must really be sick.

“No, I’m okay, really. Probably just something I ate.” Sam seems nice, but there’s no way I’m going to burden him with my problems, so I give him my most reassuring smile. He grins back at me.

“Yeah, that’s what my fiancé said right before she found out we’re pregnant.” This time I actually feel the color drain from my face and he must notice it too because his concern is back. “Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to freak you out.” He glances down at my left hand resting in my lap and then back up to my face and now he looks as panicky as I feel. Surely that can’t be what’s going on here. I try to think back over the last month and my … Nope, not going there. Not right now in front of a complete stranger.

“I’m fine, seriously. Don’t worry about it. How is your fiancé doing?” He hesitates for only a moment before going with the subject change.

“She’s great, seven months along and big as a house, her words not mine. I think she looks amazing. We’re having a girl, so soon I’m going to have two women ordering me around.” He couldn’t hide the adoration on his face if he tried and it causes a lump in my throat that stops any words from coming out.

Eventually I manage a, “That’s wonderful,” but don’t say anything more. He seems to take pity on me because he keeps on sharing.

“Yeah, timing is a bit off with my leg and everything, but we’re making it work.” I glance down at the prosthetic again and then back up. What is the protocol here? Is it okay to ask what happened? Before I can decide one way or the other, he answers for me. “I’m in the Navy, took a hit from an IED and now here I am with a new leg and a shit ton of physical therapy to get through, but it’s okay because I’ve got my girl and a future waiting for me so I’m all set. Going to propose to her soon.” He winks like he’s just shared a secret with me, and I smile back at him.

“Congratulations! That’s awesome. I’m sure you’re going to be very happy together.” He studies me for a moment.

“You do this kind of thing for a living? You’re very easy to talk to. I bet people just open up to you all the time.” And just like that a lightbulb goes on.

Shane

It’s quiet at the bar tonight. Reid has everything under control, so I go to my office to get some paperwork done because owning your own business isn’t all fun, fun, fun. The last thirty-two days passed in a blur, not the good kind where you’re busy and time flies, but the kind where you merely exist and each day flows into the next in a monotonous, dull dream state. I get up every morning, mess around until it’s time to come to work, and then mess around some more here. I think Reid is about ready to quit or lose his shit and tell me to get my act together. Could go either way. The only bright spark in each day, the one thing to look forward to, are my texts and calls with Lisa. I think she’s doing well, better than I am at least and that makes me happy. It also frustrates me because I want her back. I want her here in Marshall Falls and I want her in my home. More than anything else, I want her in my arms every night until I can’t remember a time when we were not together, but that is not for me to decide and I have to accept that.

I’m hours deep into a financial forecast for the year ahead when there is a light knock on my door. Nobody except Reid knows I’m back here, but then again where else would I be. Before I can get up to see who it is and tell them to take a hike because that’s just the mood I’m in, the door opens, and I freeze in place. Cara stands in the doorway, a familiar smile on her face that I would rather forget. She must notice the less than friendly expression on mine and her smile slips slightly. Without waiting for me to say anything she walks inside and closes the door.

“Cara…” I begin but she cuts me off.

“Please Shane, I came to apologize. Don’t make me leave before I’ve said my piece.” What do you say to that? But more importantly, what could she possibly say that would make up for the way she acted at Jay’s. That seems like a lifetime ago, but I haven’t seen or heard from her since, so I have to assume that is what she wants to apologize for. I let out a sigh and nod my head because I honestly don’t have anything left to say to her. “I’m sorry for what happened at Jay’s house.” Well at least I had that part right. “I shouldn’t have spoken to Lisa like that. It would have been better coming from you.” Wait, what?!

“Cara, what the hell are you talking about? You know what, never mind. I don’t have time for this. You should go.” That weird smile is back on her face and now she looks like she might be the one sleep walking, her movements slow and her eyes heavy lidded.

“You don’t really want me to go, do you?” She says this in a soft sing song voice and then pouts her lips. Ugh, really? “I’ve told you before Shane, I’m the one who knows what you need. Not Layla, and certainly not Lisa. They’re gone now, just as it should be.” I try and think of something to say that will get the message across that she needs to leave, but she does the exact opposite of what I want. One moment she is standing on the other side of my desk, talking like a crazy person and then she’s right in front of me, on my side of the desk, moving to stand between my legs. What the actual fuck?

“Cara, you need to go. Now!” Still just the weird smile, so I slide my office chair back, away from her, but all this does is create more space for her and then she’s on her knees, reaching for my fly. Time slows down and the room fades until all I see is Cara kneeling in front of me, her eyes glassy and her lips wet from constantly licking them. And nothing about this is appealing to me at all. She is not the woman I want, now or ever. I pull myself together and prepare to jump up and move away when the office door swings open … and Jay walks in. Fuck!

The next thing I know, he’s pulling me away and then pulling Cara to her feet, none to gently. Then he glares at me so hard, I almost duck expecting a fist to come flying at my face any second, but nothing happens. At least not from Jay, because that’s when I notice Derick standing in the doorway.

“What are you doing here? You’re not supposed to be here. What the hell, Jay?” I throw him an accusing look, but Derick is the one who answers.

“I’m fine, but I saw her heading this way.” He nods to Cara. “She’s high as a kite, I thought she might come back here looking for trouble and it seems I was right.” Then he turns to Cara and the strangest look crosses his face, but only for a second. It’s not judgment or disgust but more like affection and maybe a little empathy. He walks over to her, gently takes her by the arm and whispers something in her ear. She’s been quiet up until this point and when Derick pulls away from her, she nods at him, and they walk out of my office without another word. Fine by me.

“I don’t know how you get yourself in these situations, man. You don’t know how lucky you are that it was us walking through that door and not some town gossip ready to tell anyone who will listen that you had another woman between your legs, because that is how the story would go. Is that really what you want Lisa to hear when she gets back?” In an instant rage rips through me but just as quickly it subsides, and I sink back into my chair where a few minutes ago another woman was offering to give me what I only ever wanted from Lisa. But she’s not here and it’s tearing me apart.

“I need her, Jay. I need Lisa to come back to me. Or I’ll drive to California, either way I need to see her and hold her and know that she’s still mine.” Jay shakes his head at me.

“Wow, if I knew we were going to have a girl moment, I would have brought my nail polish and the latest copy of Teen Vogue. Pull yourself together. She’s doing well and I think she’s planning on coming back soon. Just a feeling, but if she gets wind of this,” he says this waving a hand at me, “she might just decide to stay in California permanently.” I just stare at him, too drained to get worked up any further.

“You spoke to her recently?” He smiles at me and takes the seat opposite me.

“Yeah man. It won’t be long, just have some faith.” That’s something he says often, and it seems to work for him, so maybe I will take a page out of his book. What can it hurt?

Chapter 17

Lisa

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