Page 23 of My Heart for Yours

“Hey, I missed you.” I kiss her forehead and then step back before looking over at Jay. “Everything okay?” The look he gives me is filled with all kinds of warnings and a single promise. He’s got my back and whatever happens, he will be right there with me, putting the pieces back together.

“All good, so I’m going to head out. I’ll talk to you later but let me know if you need anything.” He comes over and gives me a hug, then steps over to Lisa and whispers something in her ear that I can’t make out. Her eyes go all shiny and her nose red, like she’s about to cry, but then Jay steps away and her face goes blank. I wait till he’s out the room before I turn to her again.

“Are you okay?” She tries to smile, and I appreciate the effort, I really do, but right now I need her honesty more than I need her reassurance.

“I’m just tired; it’s been a long day.” I nod while trying to keep myself from pushing for more.

“Yeah, I’m sure you must be exhausted. Have they given you something to help you sleep?” She looks towards the little cup sitting on the table beside her bed and wrinkles her nose.

“They did, but I don’t want to take it. All the meds make me feel weird and fuzzy, so I’d rather not take them.” God, I don’t think I can take much more of this.

“Sweetheart, you need to sleep. Your body needs the rest. I’ll stay right here with you, so you don’t have to worry about anything.” She doesn’t look at me, just shakes her head.

“No, I’ll sleep but just not from the medication. Are you sure you want to stay? It’s not going to be very comfortable for you on this bed.” I take hold of her chin and gently turn her face to mine.

“There’s no place on this earth I would rather be than on this bed with you.”

Chapter 11

Lisa

Shane held me the entire night and I managed to get a few hours sleep that wasn’t plagued by nightmares of being tied down or endlessly falling. I keep my eyes closed, pretending to be asleep and try not to think of how uncomfortable he must have been; too grateful that he stayed, but now the sun is intruding on our little sanctuary and it’s time to face … everything. I can see he wants to talk; I can even guess what he wants to talk about, but my mind is spinning in all directions and panic has me firmly in its grip. Maybe now is not the time for this.

My doctor stops by just after breakfast and after a thorough examination determines that there is no reason for me to stay and starts the discharge procedure. However, before he leaves my room, he gives me the business card of a therapist who has a practice close by. Is that the answer? Talking to a stranger when I finally have people who genuinely care about me to open up to? I understand the impulse, to speak to someone who is a professional, but more importantly who is not invested in the outcome of your life. They are simply there to listen and to help give some perspective, and I decide then and there to give it a try. Can’t hurt, right?

As if sensing that I needed the space, Shane left this morning before breakfast, but assured me he was a phone call away and would check in a little later. His text comes through as if to give me the visual reminder: I love you! Whatever you need, I’m here

I don’t deserve this man but walking away is becoming more and more impossible to contemplate. I don’t doubt for a moment that I’m going to have to make some tough decisions soon but for now I respond: Doc says I can leave today. Come get me?

It only takes a few seconds for him to reply and the smile on my face feels real for the first time since the day of the festival: On my way

Just as suddenly, tears cloud my vision, but I manage to shoot back: Thank you! I love you too

Shane

Yes! She’s coming home. I worry for only a moment that it might be too soon before grabbing my keys and heading out the door. If the doctor okayed it, then I’m definitely not going to question his decision. What makes my heart soar is that she asked me to come fetch her; not Joe who is still in town or Jay who would drop everything for her, or even Tinsley who has been waiting not so patiently for a chance to visit with Lisa. I try not to read too much into this. She was staying with me before, so it stands to reason that she will come and stay with me again, but maybe that’s not where her head’s at. Maybe she’s just looking for a ride back to the inn.

I get to the hospital in record time and knock on Lisa’s door before walking in. She’s sitting on the bed, already dressed and ready to go, and the smile on her face when she sees me makes my heart skip a beat.

“Hey, beautiful, you ready to get out of here?” She gets up off the bed slowly and comes to stand in front of me, sliding her arms around my waist.

“Take me home, Shane.” Music to my ears.

We don’t talk much during the drive back to Marshall Falls. At first, Lisa seemed tense, nervous about leaving the hospital, but the further we drive out of town, the more her body relaxes into the seat next to me. Now we’re almost home and the nervous energy is back, so I reach over and take hold of her hand, gently stroking the soft skin. She glances at me and I know what she’s about to say.

“I’m okay, really. Don’t worry about me.” I want to tell her there will never be a time when I won’t worry about her, but for whatever reason those words don’t make it past my lips. Instead, I squeeze her hand and we carry on in silence.

I park my truck and hop out to go around and help Lisa. Her ribs must still be tender because she accepts my help and leans on me all the way to my front door. Once inside, she looks around with indecision clear on her face. At least it’s not regret, because I would hate for her to leave now that she’s here. I go to put her bag down in my room and return to find her standing in exactly the same spot, so I come to stand in front of her and place my hands on her hips.

“What are you in the mood for? Something to eat, drink, a relaxing bath maybe?” That seems to pique her interest and she smiles up at me.

“A bath sounds perfect.” She turns to walk away but I hold onto her a little tighter. She gives me a questioning look and I shrug back.

“I’ve missed you. I’m really happy you’re here, Lisa.” She smiles again, and I let her go.

She spends close to an hour in the bathroom and I almost go to check on her a couple of times, but curb the impulse by sitting on my couch and texting Joe, Jay, and Aaron to let them know Lisa is home. Once she comes out, she’s dressed in leggings and one of my old sweatshirts, and again I’m struck by how utterly beautiful she is. After everything she’s been through, she still carries herself with grace and poise even though I know she must still be hurting. She sits down next to me and I pull a fluffy blanket over her legs and tuck her into my side. We just sit like that for a few minutes and I allow myself to enjoy this simple pleasure. Yesterday in the hospital, I was convinced she was going to leave me, but now I’m not so sure. She seems content to be here, but this could all be temporary, until she’s well enough to get by on her own. Whoever said, if you love someone you should set them free, must have had nerves of steel to believe that his love would return to him, but right here on this couch, that is the decision I make. I’m going to put my feelings aside and give Lisa whatever she needs to get her past just being okay, and if that means she ends up leaving me, then so be it.

Lisa’s deep breathing tells me she’s dozed off, so I shift her away from me and get up to make us something to eat. One of Mom’s frozen meals will do the trick. Lisa wakes up just as I’m setting the table and a few minutes later we are sitting down to plates piled high with Mom’s lasagna.

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