Page 7 of My Heart for Yours

Shane

It’s still a few hours before I have to be at the bar and I’m relaxing on my couch, just letting my mind wander. The last person I want to be thinking about is Cara, but it’s her voice I hear in my head, telling me she knows what I need from a relationship. There’s no way I will ever go there with her, but the fact is I have been thinking about it, dating again.

The truth is I’ve been over Layla for quite some time, at least since the first time I slept with a woman that was not her. What’s taken longer for me to process is my part in the breakdown of our relationship because I had to figure it out on my own. I knew I was neglecting Layla in that last year. I had just bought the bar and was spending all my time there, renovating the space and then working as many shifts as I could, doing everything possible to make it a success, so that it could support our future together. Obviously, Layla didn’t see it that way, but I didn’t even see the warning signs, her cries for my attention, until the one that I could not ignore.

There was a time when things were good between us, really good. I loved her and was convinced she was my future. I wouldn’t have asked her to marry me if I wasn’t, and I want that again. I want the kind of relationship my parents have, completely devoted to each other and their family. I know guys today will say that’s old fashioned and unsustainable in this age, but I disagree. I think, with the right woman, I can have it all. My attraction to Lisa seems to indicate that I might actually be ready to try again. Lisa … dammit, I shouldn’t have pushed her away. If anything, I really wanted to know what her story was so that I could help, make it right for her, so that she might consider staying. I wanted her to stay! I wonder where she is; if she’s thinking about me too.

It’s busy at the bar tonight. Saturdays always are and I’m glad for it. I need the distraction. Aaron Taylor is sitting at one end of the bar with his girlfriend Tinsley. He’s been one of my closest friends since we were toddlers and one of the best people I know. He studied medicine in Philadelphia, which is where he met Tinsley and brought her back with him when he decided to come home and practice here. He was there for everything that happened with Layla and never judged me. In fact, lately he has been quite vocal in his support of the idea that I get back on the horse, as Jay puts it. Tinsley is cool too, a pretty girl who packed up her entire life to come live here with Aaron. She makes him happy which makes her perfect in my book. Perfect for him, that is. Definitely not my type. I tend to stick to short, curvy, dark-haired girls with attitude and an independent streak, like a certain woman occupying way too much valuable space in my head instead of in my bar … or in my bed.

“Yo, Shane, you going to Jay’s tomorrow?” Aaron calls from his end of the bar. I walk over to continue the conversation.

“Yeah, of course. You guys?” Tinsley is practically squirming in her seat, wonder what that’s about.

Aaron answers, “Yeah, we’ll be there.” He grins, and I get the distinct impression they’re hiding something. Whatever. We continue chatting throughout the night, between me serving drinks and them making out during breaks in the conversation. Like I said, she makes him happy.

Lisa

I grab something to eat at the diner and then head back to my room at the Inn to take a look at the photos I took of Tinsley this morning. They look great, if I do say so myself but I don’t think Tinsley could take a bad photo if she tried. After downloading them onto my laptop, I choose the best ones and email them to her. Then I spend some time browsing photographic websites before calling it a night. But sleep does not come. In fact, not only can I not fall asleep, but my mind keeps racing with anticipation for tomorrow.

It occurred to me earlier that Shane will more than likely be there, and I will have no choice but to explain to him why I have not left as promised. I don’t imagine he’s the type of guy to cause a scene in front of his brother’s friends, but will he get mad or upset and insist that I leave right away? That’s the last thing I want, and I just need to make him understand, even if it means telling him everything about Cole. I should probably tell him anyway and let him decide whether that is too much trouble for his small town to handle, but who am I kidding? Shane is going to take one look at me before letting me know that I’m not wanted here if our past encounters are anything to go by.

I replay this morning’s activities in my head and consider for a moment that Tinsley might stand up for me. Maybe even Jay, but that’s not likely. He won’t go against his own brother, so it’s going to be up to me to convince Shane. I just need to make him understand.

Chapter 4

Shane

I get to Jay’s place early to help him set up and I find Derick is already there. I expected that hanging out with him would be awkward for a while but once we start sorting out the food and drinks, conversation flows easily enough. Jay also keeps the mood light with his usual jokes and antics, which I appreciate. I know these last two years have put a strain on my family and there is a lot to apologize for, but all in good time. My family’s support means everything to me, and I won’t continue to make things as difficult as I have recently.

People start showing up shortly after noon and pretty soon the place is packed with people milling about between the kitchen and the living spaces. I spot Travis from across the room and we give each other a nod before getting pulled into different conversations. Most of the people I know, but there are also a few faces I don’t recognize and I pay close attention to the women who filter in and out. Maybe I can find someone here to help me back on the proverbial horse. Nobody catches my eye, but I do spot Aaron and Tinsley and decide to go say hello. Aaron gives me his usual bro-hug, but Tinsley barely acknowledges me. She keeps looking around as if she’s searching for someone, so I leave her to it.

That’s when it happens. Cara comes stumbling over, obviously already well on her way to being drunk, and latches on to my side. I don’t miss the look of confused horror on Tinsley’s face as I try discreetly to create some distance between Cara and me, but she’s not letting go, slurring something about knowing I would be here, that it was always meant to be us together, and that this could count as our first date. Then she wraps her arms around my waist and kisses me! Fuck, what the hell is wrong with this woman? I just barely get her lips off mine when movement by the door catches my eye … and time stands still.

She’s here. Lisa is here. How is that possible? I can’t seem to wrap my mind around what’s happening and worse still, I can’t move even though my brain is telling me it’s imperative that I do so. I’m pretty sure she saw the kiss and the expression on her face looks like she’s just as shocked by it as I was. The next moment Tinsley is by her side, encouraging her to come inside but Lisa has already turned around and is heading out the door. How do they know each other? Not important right now. I finally get my arms and legs to move so I untangle myself from Cara’s hold, push her away and make a run for the door.

When I get outside, Lisa is already at the end of the driveway and reaching for the door of her Jeep.

“Lisa, wait!” I don’t really expect her to listen and can’t hide my surprise when she stops and waits for me to join her, but I still approach carefully because she looks like she might change her mind at any moment. Tinsley stands next to her and I can see from her body language that her only concern is for Lisa’s wellbeing. I can’t fault her for that, but I need her to go back inside so that I can talk to Lisa in private.

“Tinsley, do you mind giving us a minute?” She gives Lisa a questioning look and once Tinsley receives a nod from her, she turns to me with a warning in her eyes. I wait her out and she finally goes back inside. My heart is pounding like crazy, my palms sweaty and it takes all my effort to calm the panic running through my veins. Lisa still has not said a word and I worry that my chance with her is slipping away before we even get started, but I won’t give up. She’s here so all I have to do is give her reason to stay.

“Hey,” I say as calmly as I can manage. Well, that’s a solid start, dumbass. “What are you doing here?” Again, I keep my voice low while trying to read the expression on her face.

“Jay invited me.” She blurts this out as if she thinks I won’t believe her and will try to run her off, which is basically what I did the last time I saw her. Her fear is valid, but it’s the last thing I want now. Before I can tell her this, she speaks again. “I thought we could talk, and I could tell you what I should have said that morning in the diner.” She doesn’t wait for me to say anything which is good because my brain is having a hard time processing what’s happening. She just rushes into her next words as if she might lose her nerve if she doesn’t get them out. “I like it here, Shane. I like the town and the people, and I really want to stay for a while, but there are some things you should know that might make you decide your first instinct was correct …”

“Lisa, please wait,” I interrupt her because I can’t stand the thought of her thinking I still want her to leave. “Let’s go somewhere and have that talk. I’m freezing my ass off here and I really want us to finish this conversation somewhere a bit more private.” That seems to take her by surprise.

“You want to leave? What about your girlfriend? You should tell her what’s going on before driving off with someone else. People will get the wrong idea.” Okay, not what I was expecting at all, and girlfriend? Shit, she saw the kiss with Cara and assumed Cara’s my girlfriend.

“She’s not my girlfriend, Lisa. I’m single.” Whatever it takes, I have to convince her that this is true. Otherwise, there’s not much point in continuing the conversation I’m desperate to have. “Look, Cara and I used to be friends, but we grew apart years ago. She showed up here already drunk and kissed me before I could even think to stop her because if I knew what she was planning, I definitely would have stopped her.” Please, please, please believe me.

“Why?” She still sounds unsure and the look on her face mirrors her tone.

“Because she’s not the girl I want.”

Lisa

I got ready for the get-together way too early and was sitting on my bed killing time until a more appropriate hour to show up. Doubts came at me from all sides. I don’t really know these people. Would they be able to tell where I come from? Was my history written on my clothes or threaded through my hair? The poor kid with the alcoholic mother who didn’t want her. Well, screw that because I was wearing new clothes and my hair looked great, and with that little pep talk out the way, I got up to leave.

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