Page 49 of Disgrace

“And now, I completely understand.” I hold her gaze, and she blinks at the intensity then peers sheepishly through her long thick lashes when she speaks.

“I’m glad you came.”

I swear my heart misses a beat. “I’m glad I came, too.” I brush her cheek, and she flashes the sweetest smile. I hold her hand, and her cuff slides down her arm. I frown at the loose fit.

“What’s the matter?” Her expression flashes with concern, and she fiddles with her cuff nervously.

“It’s loose. It could come off and then…” I draw in a deep breath but don’t follow through the unpleasant line of thinking. It’s not like I can lock her away, but dammit, sometimes it would make everything so much easier. The need to protect what’s mine almost outweighs the need to be a rational human being. “Tracking only works if you’re wearing whatever has the tracker and this”—I hold her wrist and shake her arm; the cuff almost slips off her wrist, perfectly proving my point—“is a problem.” She worries her bottom lip, and I pick it from her teeth. “If,for example, someone were kidnapped, it’s likely the first thing that would happen is that person would be stripped. We have come up with something but it still relies on access to a smart phone.” I mutter still looking at her cuff.

“What do you mean?” Her face brightens, and she turns fully to face me, keen to learn more. Whether for her own safety or not, I’m not sure, but she knew enough about Bethany’s kidnapping to know this isn’t a topic Stone Enterprises R & D department takes lightly.

“In the unlikely event I ever let you out of my sight and someone took you, if you could get to a phone, all you would have to do is punch in my code, and a secret signal would start transmitting GPS co-ordinates to my head office security and my phone.” She nods. “But what’s really clever is it also sends details of other GPS equipment nearby that I can then tap into. So if you are on a plane or in a car, I can alter the information, slow you down or change the destination undetected. It gives me an unseen advantage and time to rescue you.”

“Oh, that is clever,” she coos with genuine wonder. I grin.

“It’s still a prototype, and itstillneeds the initial phone to activate the signal, but we’re working on that. It would be much easier if I could just implant a tracker under your skin.” Her eyes widen, and I realise I said that out loud.

“You are not implanting a tracker on me like some dog!” Her tone is indignant, and I hold up my hands in surrender. Not a battle for now; she won’t even wear my collar. I don’t fancy my chances of her ever agreeing to a permanent tracker.

“Just a thought.” I chuckle.

“Well, keep thinking, buddy,” she warns. Her eyes narrow, but she fails to hold her outrage, and her features starts to soften. “Youcantell me the pin number though.” She runs her fingernail along my cheek and down my jaw, scratching the two-day-old stubble.

“It’s the day you stole my heart.” I laugh when she frowns deeply.

“Care to give me a clue?” she coaxes. I slap my hand to my heart with mock hurt.

“If you don’t know, I don’t think you deserve to be rescued,” I quip.

“Fine, forget it.” She waves off my wound with a light shake of her head. “I believe it’s your question.” She sniffs, her remark has an indignant air, no doubt a result of my thigh-lipped response to her plea for a clue.

“What’s your biggest fear?” I fire off without drawing breath.

“Telling someone I love them.”

Her answer makes me stop. I hold her gaze. Her eyes glaze with vulnerability, and despite the illuminated seatbelt sign, I unclip her and lift her into my lap. She curls around my body as best she can. Her arms thread around my neck, her knees tucked tight against my chest.

“Why?” I sweep her sable-soft hair behind her ear and lift her chin. She is silent for long moments, but I just wait. A little time is nothing if she will open up a little more.

“I thought I loved Richard.” She swallows thickly, and her lashes are instantly heavy with tears. “I had to tell him I loved himallthe time, and he would use it against me. He insisted if I really loved him, then I should do anything he asked. Who am I kidding? He didn’t ask, he demanded. Anyway, whatever he did was always worse after he made me tell him I loved him.” She actually starts to tremble, and I can feel an angry fire burn in my belly. I wish I had taken that fucker out when I had the chance. I take small comfort in knowing Leon will make sure he legally can’t enter the country, and I know from my brother that the CIA is keeping closer tabs on him. I hope he fucks up. I hope he rots in jail and more. But I’d still like my time with him now that I know the damage he caused this precious creature in my arms. I’d like my five minutes for retribution. I wouldn’t need more time than that to sever his dick, slice his balls from his body with my own whipping skills. She settles and lets out a sigh so sad my heart aches. “I’m sorry, Jason. I really care for you but…”

“Yeah, you do beautiful.” I cover her lips to stop her pointless apology. She may not be able to tell me, but I feel it in my soul, as real as her flesh and bones in my arms. Her words aren’t necessary, and if one day she decides they are, she’ll tell me. “No more talking. I’m hungry.” Her eyes flare with understanding.

“Did you win?” she asks

“I have you. Of course I won.” I swoop to steal the breath just poised to escape her sweet mouth.

“Mr Sinclair, you have a delivery.” I frown at the intercom.

“And you are telling me because?” I am pretty sure Sandy is more than capable of signing a proof of receipt docket.

“Sorry, Mr Sinclair, but you have to sign.” I look out my opened office door and see Sandy peer around the corner and shrug her apology. I push back from my desk and walk over to the courier. The box is heavy but not big. I sign and head back into my office, closing the door tight behind me. I recognise the handwritten label. My cock twitches, like it does every damn time I think of Sam, even after four months together. But then it’s not really been four months. Before our first real date on Christmas Day, it had been a very long eighteen months since our initial hook-up at Daniel’s wedding, but the last four months made that wait worthwhile. Now, I can’t imagine spending a single night apart.

I am so close to asking her to move in with me, but I don’t want to frighten her. Her reticence to tell me she loves me when it’s so fucking obvious, makes me think she is still skittish about the whole relationship thing. As impatient as I am to take the next step, I will wait for her, for a sign or for the words themselves. She’ll let me know when she’s ready.

I slide the letter opener along the tape to slice the package open. A neatly wrapped bundle of rope spills to the floor, along with a card and a retro Polaroid picture. I pick up the rope; it isn’t new. It is well seasoned, oiled, perfectly softened and fit for purpose. Shit, no more twitching, I am fucking rock-hard, my cock tenting my suit trousers uncomfortably. I lean down and pick up the card and photograph.

I groan out. I am going to get no work done for the rest of the day. Not now. The photograph is the fucking sexiest snap shot of my naked girlfriend’s perfect body lying on her bed. One knee is bent and the other is dropped to the side. Oh, shit, she is completely bare. That is new. That is fucking hot. I grab my cock and squeeze to relieve some of the pressure, but I am painfully hard and there is only one way this is going down. I quickly read the card as I fumble in my back pocket for my phone. The card reads‘Happy Anniversary’- I believe four months is rope!Damn! I press her speed dial number and she picks up instantly.

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