Page 16 of Disgrace

“Richard was the only relationship I have ever had and he was a Dominant, so yes, I have been blindfolded before.” I state and I swallow the pooling saliva in my mouth at the flash of images bombarding me of the times he did. My stomach turns, and Jason must feel my reaction because his hand freezes with his fingers still deep inside me.

“Sam…” His voice is strained, and I can see the muscles in his jaw dancing with fury, and I can hear his teeth crunch together with the force of his clenched jaw. “I think we need to be clear. He may have been your boyfriend through no choice of your own but he was no Dominant. He was an abusive fucking arsehole and a coward. He was given you. A beautiful, bright and sexy as all fuck woman—just a girl then—who he had the chance to cherish, but he chose abuse. You of all people should know the difference.” He brushes my cheek with light tender kisses, and I pinch my eyes shut tight to stop the tingle of tears.

“I know the difference now…I didn’t know there was any difference then. He told me what he was and showed me what that meant for me.” I suck in a stuttered breath. I hate that I am still affected like this. This is why I don’t talk about it. This is why I hide this shit away. I try to sit, but he positions his weight just a little further onto mine, effectively pinning me to the sofa.

“Sam, I don’t mean to upset you. I just want you to know that I am likely to lose my shit…badly, if I have to think about what that dick-head did. So we need to find a way where we can discuss this without causing a meltdown for either one of us. He deserves not a second of your time, not a single thought. Any pain you experienced by his hand I will erase. Your pain and your pleasure belong to me now…it belongs to us…Understand?

“And, the only time I will give him will be if we ever meet because then I can teach him howbadI am with a Bullwhip.” His voice drops lower when he continues. “I’m not a religious man, but I will pray every fucking day that I get the chance to do just that.” The menace and certainty in his words should chill me, but I glow from the warmth spreading through my veins.

His mouth covers mine, and he captures my bottom lip between his teeth. He bites enough to make my eyes widen and his to crinkle with pleasure. I feel it like a jolt of high voltage electricity firing though my body…our pleasure.

“Ready?” Although, both his hand between my legs and his fingers inside me have barely moved since I mentioned Richard’s name, when he smoothly removes them I whimper with the loss of contact. At the same time, he slides right on top of me, and I am momentarily breathless with his full weight before he kneels upright.

“Yes.” I don’t hesitate. I have no idea what I’m doing and I have no idea if this thing between us really stands a chance but for the first time…ever, I feel alive.

His eyes narrow but the stern expression is softened by his pursed lips. “I am happy to re-educate you, Sam, but please, do I really have to start from scratch?” I feel like an idiot but I am going to chalk that one up to being anidiot.

“Sir…sorry, I meant to say, yes Sir, or would you prefer Master?” I can’t help myself. I have been in charge for so long. This may feel right but I just can’t make it that easy. He barks out a laugh and his face lights up.

“Oh, baby girl, and there was me thinking we’d have to work up to using the gag.” He pulls a slim, dark silk tie from his back pocket. He’s like fucking a Boy Scout. I don’t get the chance to voice a word only a disgruntled squeak escapes when he takes advantage of the gap my dropped jaw has created from sheer surprise. Forget Boy Scout; he is more like a bondage ninja, quickly securing the tie, without pulling a single hair. He also rolls my tank top up and fashions a make shift blindfold now that the tie was needed elsewhere. Satisfied and smug don’t come close to describing the expression fixed across his handsome face just before my eyes are covered. A tiny piece of me wants to feel pissed at the speed with which he has secured me helpless, but a much larger part is comforted with the knowledge that, regardless of our relationship, he is a good Dom and knows exactly what he’s doing.

This feels right. No, this feels perfect. I trusted him with my truth, I trust him with my body, and that is enough. It has to be, because whores don’t get the happy ever after.

His weight shifts, and his breath kisses my cheek. “I prefer Sir, as you well know.”

Inever feel I have to prove myself. I never have to go searching for someone to play with. I am damn good at what I do, and I get a good deal of my pleasure from just knowing that there is always someone kneeling and waiting.

Until now.

Just looking at her drawing in slow, steady breaths and watching her pulse jump in her neck with excitement, maybe nerves, it’s like the ultimate high. I can’t explain it better than that. Nirvana. This stunning woman owns every room she chooses to enter, has more people than I care to think of wanting to serve her. To submit, worship and treat her like the queen she is and yet, here she is, trusting me,submittingto me. The pleasure I feel coursing through me is potent. I can’t help an underlying feeling starting to form and gain purchase deep inside me. If she is brave enough to switch, shewillown me.

Her hands grip my thighs, and her white knuckles are evidence that she is feeling more nervous than excited. I know this isn’t going to be easy, but I want this so fucking much I’m willing to adapt and give her just what she needs. And right now, she needs to relax, have a little fun and enjoy the ride. I loosen the tie and remove the gag, but place it close by on the nightstand just in case.

“Put your hands above your head and hold the edge of the sofa.” She obeys me instantly, stretching her toned arms over her head. Her rib cage pushes her tits high like an offering. Her shallow pants make the soft flesh bounce, her hard, peaked nipples just begging for my mouth. I swallow the instant dryness and fight the urge to mould her in my eager hands. Instead, I adjust the painful erection that is causing absolute agony in my jeans. “I don’t want you to move. Do I make myself clear?” I expect her to hesitate, simply because taking orders is a new concept for her. She takes in every word, but with her eyes covered, and the gag in place, I know she can’t answer me with her voice. She gives a vigorous nod. Her skin flushes with desire, and her breathing becomes a little deeper. I place my hands on either side of her waist, and she sucks in a sharp breath but doesn’t otherwise move. God, she’s amazing…she feels alive under my fingertips, raw energy pulsing through my fingertips, contained and explosive at the same time.

I drag my hands down her body peeling her pyjama bottoms all the way down her long, slender legs. I work my way off the end of the sofa and just gaze at my prize.

Fucking jackpot.

The room is warm, but her body is peppered with gooseflesh, and she begins to tremble. I don’t move. The only sound is my steady breathing and her rapid pants. Time slows, and I watch for the moment when her lips tip at the corners, her face softens, and her frame relaxes.

I’m impressed. Her understanding of my intention took barely ten minutes. “Good girl.” I encourage. Her smile widens as does mine. Success, her first real test was for her to simply relax and accept. Her second was to take pleasure from my pleasure which, by the spread of her smile, I would say is another win. I walk around and loosen the tie and remove the gag. She turns her head toward me but immediately rectifies her error, snapping quickly back into place. I stroke her cheek with my finger and playfully tap her nose. “Present yourself,” I command but keep my tone soft. She hesitates again, and I know it’s not because she is unclear about what I am asking. “Tell me,Selina,when you give a command how long do you expect to wait before you are obeyed?” She lets out a light laugh and starts to draw her knees to her chest. I tap her knee and push her leg flat. “Nah ah. And tell me,Selina,when you ask a question does it amuse you to be ignored?” My voice is thick and gravely, the humour and playfulness dwindling with each passing second. She answers instantly this time.

“I’m sorry, Sir. I expect them to answer immediately; I demand they obey instantly.” Her left cheek has a slight dip where she is either sucking it in or chewing on the inside.

“And do you think I deserve any less respect than you?” My tone is softer to compensate for her obvious agitation.

“No, Sir, not at all, I just—” Her voice catches and I stroke her cheek to soothe her concern.

“I know…shhh…I know, beautiful. Let’s try that again, shall we?” I stretch my neck to release the tension, but it doesn’t pop. All my tension is further south. “Present yourself.” I choke back a cough when she pulls her knees to her chest, spreads and holds them wide with her fingertips. My ‘good girl’ praise comes out more like a strained groan. She bites back a smile but sucks in a sharp breath when she feels the sofa dip and I take up the best position in the world. Inches away from her… wide, wet and open. “Pick a number between one and twenty.”

“Three.” She shouts out instantly but drags her top teeth over her bottom lip to suppress her smile.

“Chicken.” I rumble out a deep laugh. Whether it’s too much pleasure or too much pain she’s clearly not feelingthatbrave. “Very well. I will bring you to three orgasms.” She opens her mouth to speak but wisely thinks better of it. But I am intrigued enough to ask her thoughts. Normally, I wouldn’t tolerate chitchat or questions that weren’t solicited or at least about safety. But nothing about this…us, isnormal. “You wish to say something, beautiful?” Her smile spreads so wide when I call her that, I intend to use the moniker often. She shakes her head in denial, but I know she does. “You can speak. In fact, your reticence just means I want you to tell me now.”

“You’re being sweet.” Her response is brief but instant.

“Hmm, I said I would bring you three orgasms. I never said I would let youhavethree orgasms.” I cover her body with my frame holding myself above, just an inch or two. Heat and fire jumps between our bodies, and I lean down to whisper across her lips. “Will you still think I’m sweet when I deny you all three?”

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