Page 74 of Good Girl

Is that what they were trying to tell me upstairs, that they were in love with me?

“So you see.” Derek turned back to my mother, whose face had begun to turn a shade of purple with her suppressed anger. “What you saw is nothing more than a growing, loving relationship, and you should have more respect for your own damn child.”

A beat of utter silence passed, and I choked on my next breath, struggling for air through sobs that forced their way out of me, leaving little room for anything else.

“Get. Out.” My mother raised her voice sharply. “Get out of here and don’t you dare come back. You hear me, Charlotte?” She pointed sharply at me. “I never want to see your Godforsaken face under my roof ever again!”

* * *

The driveback to the city was slow and quiet. My mind was a hollow cavern of grief, and while my tears had long faded, sadness bled through my veins with every heartbeat. I kept my head pressed against the cool glass window of Derek’s car and stared blankly at the passing scenery as we headed back home. Derek drove, and Samuel had taken the front passenger seat so I could have the space in the back to process.

The problem was, I couldn’t process anything that had just happened. I was in shock. Nausea churned constantly in my gut and pressure sat heavy, crushing my chest and making each breath ragged.

My mother had reacted even worse than I had feared. Not only did she think I was a disgusting whore, but I was also a mark of shame on our family name. I couldn’t believe she had used my father in such a way, and yet at the same time, I wasn’t entirely surprised. It had swiftly become clear that over the years, the love I thought my mother and I had for one another was nothing more than an illusion.

What was I going to do? Clinging to my mother had been the one thread of survivability I had in the event that my men—the ones wholovedme—cast me aside the second they learned that I was a pregnant threat to their lives.

Everywhere I turned, I left wreckage in my wake.

I closed my eyes as a couple of stray tears slid down my face. Darkness crept into my soul, and I wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed and forget that I existed.

Numbness had settled into every corner of my body by the time we pulled up to Derek and Samuel’s apartment. Derek led the way, and Samuel guided me into the building with an arm around my shoulders, but the contact felt like lead. They didn’t know it, but we were just going through the motions until I told them the rest of my secrets, and then my life would officially be over.

Neither of them said a word until we were safely in Derek’s apartment with the world shut away.

“Charlotte,” Derek began, but he paused when Samuel’s phone lit up. Samuel winced and quickly excused himself to take the call. I stood in the middle of the hall, yearning for the warm safety of Derek’s bed just for one more night. One night to sink into despair and wallow and then... in the morning, I would tell them everything.

Rip the Band-Aid off.

Derek gently cupped my cheek, and I turned away from the touch. His sad smile didn’t waver, though. He only nodded in understanding.

“I’m so sorry. I know that doesn’t mean much right now, but I am. I know how you felt about your mother and I...” He trailed off and pressed his lips together in a thin line. “Well. Is there anything you need?”

Before I could even fathom the energy to respond, Samuel came back into the hallway with his phone in hand. His brows were pulled tight together and worry lines etched themselves down his face.

My heart stopped.

“Samuel?” Derek turned to him, and his voice was off, strained. “What is it?”

“It’s Matt,” Samuel said faintly. “He’s... he’s been in an accident.”

36

DEREK

Leaving Charlotte alone at the apartment wasn’t ideal, but when the call had come through that Matt was in the hospital after an accident, there was no other choice. I tucked her into bed with water and an apology, and as I’d kissed her forehead, she had insisted that we go to him.

We hadn’t needed to be told twice.

Arriving at the hospital, I found myself in a whirlwind of bright lights and sharp smells assaulting my senses. Even with Samuel by my side, it was difficult to ground myself in the moment. Everything from the fire until now had been crazy, and the tighter I tried to grip onto each situation, the more control I lost. This was not how I liked my life. With little information provided over the phone, our first stop was the front desk where a stressed young woman with glasses and a pen hanging from her mouth was darting between a phone and a computer.

“Excuse me, ma’am?” I braced both hands on the desk and tried to drown out the noise behind me. The waiting room was filled with an array of injured people and distressed loved ones and I couldn’t spare them a thought. If I did, I would spiral down to what possible condition Matt could be in.

“One second.” The woman didn’t even glance my way as she rummaged through a mountain of clipboards and I pressed my fingertips hard into the wood grain.

“He’ll be okay,” Samuel said quietly, tucking close to me as we waited. “He has to be.”

“Mmmhmm.” I could think of nothing else to say, not trusting myself with words or thoughts. If I gave even an inch to the panic simmering in my chest, I would be gone. Charlotte’s life was crumbling around her, and that soft part of my soul that blossomed my love for her was terrified she would blame me and she would walk away. That with the possibility of losing Matt was too much pain for me to process.

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