Page 63 of Good Girl

“It’s not—no, you’ve got it all wrong!” The band around my chest constricted further and acid toyed at the back of my teeth. My heart was racing so fast that the individual beats became indiscernible.

“Do I?” Haley cocked a hip and smirked cruelly. “Then correct me, Charlotte. Is it just one teacher, just Samuel? Or Derek? Both?More?”

“Haley, please, you don’t know—”

“In fact, it must be a kink thing because you don’t eventakeSamuel’s class. Is it a deviancy thing?” Haley sneered at me. “You fuck Derek, and he shares you to whatever teacher needs some stress relief? You know, I can’t actually believe you. If you’d just told me like a real friend, we could have made this a sweet grade deal for the both of us—”

“They’re not like that!” I screamed suddenly, the words spilling from me with little thought. “They’re good men, they’re kind and they like me for me, and you have no idea what the fuck you’re talking about, Haley, because your life is so fucking empty that the only rush you get is from cheating on a boyfriend who webothknow is fucking Amelia behind your back! So really, you’re both as bad as each other and deserve it, but you do not get to look down on me because your rattyexistenceis peaking in high school as the twisted, mean bitch who will spend the rest of her life—”

My words crumbled as Haley slapped me hard across the face. My head whipped to the side, heat and pain flaring up from the impact, and the second I registered it, the impact of what I had said descended on me like the trickle of a frozen shower.

“You fuckingbitch,” Haley spat. “You know, Iwasjust going to chat to you about this, but instead? I think I’m going to report it.”

Every nerve in my body jumped to alert and a stab of fear lanced through my heart.

No! If Haley said anything, Derek would be dragged into another investigation, and even if I lied, they would all be looked at closely to protect the reputation of Brown. What I had with them would burn into ash.

“No, Haley, you can’t! Haley, please!” As she strolled to the door, I threw myself after her and clutched her arm, trying to hold her back. “Haley, please, you can’t! You’ll ruin their lives, you’ll ruin everything!”

“Get off me!” Haley jerked her arm free and spun to face me, hatred flaming in her eyes. “My life might bepatheticto you, but it’ll look like paradise compared to the hellscape your life is about to become. Whatever willMotherthink?”

Haley stormed out, slamming the door behind her and leaving a deafening silence in her wake.

Oh, no.

My fantasy was cracking at the edges, on the verge of crumbling into dust, and there was nothing I could do about it. I shouldn’t have said those things. Letting my temper get the better of me had surely sealed my fate, going down in history as the slut who slept with three teachers for good grades.

The truth will matter to no one.

Derek’s life, already teetering after one investigation, will surely be upended. Matt and Samuel? I couldn’t even comprehend how they would react. Desperation spurred me into action, and I scrambled through my pockets in search of my phone. Dialing Haley’s number, I pressed it to my ear and listened to it ring out into nothing. I tried three more times before the panic faded and the despair set in.

Nausea lingering behind my teeth continued to taunt me as the tension in my chest finally gave way to tears. I collapsed onto the floor and sobbed as the crushing realization pounded over me.

My secret was out. My men were about to become the monkeys in a media circus, and when my mother found out?

My life would be officially over.

I called Haley several times that day, but she refused to answer. After the fifteenth attempt, I crawled into bed and sobbed to the point of exhaustion where sleep then took me, and I tumbled into a dark void of accusations, ruined lives, and each of the men I adored screaming their hatred in my face.

I had ruined their lives and was the worst thing to ever happen to them.

Nausea woke me later that evening, and I dragged myself to the bathroom just in time to spew my emotions out with last night’s meal. Then I crawled back to bed and cried until my nose was blocked and my eyes were so swollen that my only relief was to shove my face into my pillow. Haley didn’t come back to the dorm room, and I huddled under the blankets, calling her to no avail. With each passing second, my heart raced as I waited for that doomsday knock at the door from whoever came to investigate such accusations.

I considered texting the guys to warn them, but my mind was so fraught that nothing I typed out seemed to explain or apologize enough, so I gave up.

For three days, I waited.

Three days, I spent nervously pacing the dorm room, throwing up regularly from the stress and calling Haley until her answering machine inbox was filled to the brim with my pleas to come back and talk about this. I skipped classes, unable to face anyone, and ignored all calls and texts from the guys. If I didn’t reply, then maybe it would be less evidence, less chance of them getting into trouble. Each creak of the floorboard outside the door had me jumping out of my skin, worrying myself sick, waiting for the moment my secret was out in the world, but it never came.

The anxiety waskillingme.

On the fourth day since my argument with Haley, I spent the morning throwing up and returned to my dorm room clammy and shaky. I sipped on some water, sat on the edge of my bed, and stared at my phone. Was today to be the day? Would security turn up at my door and ask me to pack my stuff with a note of expulsion from the dean for being a whore?

Did they even do that?

I raked a hand through my hair and sighed deeply, pressing my lips together to fight nausea still somersaulting in my gut. Suddenly, my phone lit up with a text notification. I grabbed it and stared down at the screen, my heart pounding.

[Paul]It’s quite simple. We’ll stay quiet about you and your fucked up relationship, and you’ll use whatever tricks you have between your legs to get our grades up to an A, understand? Tell anyone and I’ll make sure to tell your mother in person, in great detail, what a whore you’ve become.

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