Page 115 of Mafia Toy

When Dr. Lin nodded, Constantino scooped Laila into his strong arms and pulled her into the air. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and cried into the crook of his neck. I stared at them in awe.

Or at least, I tried.

I opened my mouth and shut it about a million times, attempting to make sense of the words that Dr. Lin had just spoken. Deep down, I wanted to be happy for Laila because she had been trying to carry a child for years now. But I feared what that would mean for us …for me.

It was selfish. Extremely selfish.

But now that Laila was pregnant, did they even need me?

How would I add to their relationship? I didn’t need to give them another child. I wasn’t pregnant yet. What if they just asked me to leave, as I had caused way too many problems and conflict between them?

My stomach twisted into knots, and I found myself leaning against the door and sliding down onto the ground, wrapping my arms around my knees and staring across the room at the bland wall.

I had watched Laila kill Bethany, claiming that she did it for the baby. I had been waterboarded and tortured for the past three hours without knowing if I’d survive the night. And now … Laila was pregnant.

A series of extremely unfortunate events that all screamed that I shouldn’t be here. That I wasn’t meant to be with Laila and Constantino for the rest of my life. That I should disappear into the New York City streets and let them live their lives by themselves. Alone.

Without me.

“Are you okay?” Constantino asked, glancing over his shoulder yet still by Laila’s side.

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

And if he kept pushing it, I would probably respond with something like,Just stressed.

But he didn’t say a word more. Instead, he nodded and turned back to his wife, who was clutching his hand and sobbing about her new baby.

Tears burned my eyes.

I didn’t want to be second to Laila or even third to the baby … but here I was, being extremely selfish again. Laila and Constantino deserved this moment together. They had been waiting for it for years now.

Fuck.

After gripping my hair in my fist and talking myselfoutof tugging on it in anger, I stood up and scurried out of the room before Constantino and Laila could notice. I wanted—needed—to be alone here and now.

I didn’t know for how long. I didn’t know if I’d return tonight. The past few days had been nonstop drama, nonstop anxiety. I didn’t know if I would live to see the next day, and I feared that if I stayed with Laila and Constantino for too long, I would end up like Bethany.

“Are you okay?” Riccardo asked to my left, standing in the hallway.

Once I took one long look at him, I burst into tears and sprinted down the hallway toward the exit. I didn’t want to talk to anyone, didn’t want to explain myself, go through the pain of being waterboarded and not having a boyfriend or a girlfriend to comfort me.

I wanted to cry. Hard.

Shoving the doors open, I stepped onto the city streets and ran down the sidewalk. Rain pounded down onto my body, drenching my clothes and matting my hair to my head. But I couldn’t get myself to stop, couldn’t let myself slip into a building until the storm ended.

The rain didn’t help my pain, but it did a hell of a job of hiding my tears.

“Sage!” Riccardo shouted from behind me.

Instead of slowing down for him, I pushed myself faster and harder until I finally slipped in a puddle and tore the skin on my hands and knees. I dropped down into it and curled up into a ball, clutching myself and sobbing hysterically.

Riccardo pulled me into his arms and lifted me into the air.

“Put me down!” I cried.

Yet he didn’t.

“Riccardo!”

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