Page 32 of The Sound in Silence

But not you.

“For now, I have to return to business and should be home in a couple more days.”

I nod because his words leave no room for argument, but once again, I don’t know what I want. The gift to lure me from my room isn’t it, but the genuineness in this conversation might be. That hewantedto wish me a happy birthday. He didn’t have to get me a gift at all. He certainly didn’t have to call—no, video call—at that.

Okay,I mouth, but don’t hang up.

Neither does he.

He watches me, his eyes bouncing around his screen. No doubt, questioning his sanity for agreeing to take me as his wife. A woman he literally bribed to get out of the bedroom.

The thought snaps like a rubber band in my head. My birthday provided him the means to get me out of bed. A bribe and a way to keep me silent for longer.

Maybe my beliefs are wildly incorrect. Maybe they’re not. At this point, I can’t tell what’s reality and what’s my mind going into its dark but welcoming crevices.

Either way, I wave goodbye because that’s what he expects. I use my right hand to hide my ringless left one, thankful he hasn’t noticed I’m not wearing it. Or he has, and he simply doesn’t care. Somehow, that thought makes it worse.

He can return to his day and I’ll hide behind my walls until I must emerge, pretend to be his wife, and then get to disappear again.

“Have a nice day, Ariella.”

The screen goes black.

Grief hits me. I don’t cry, but my body certainly wants to.

Not sure why at this point, but something about the abandonment right there on the technology shatters me. Breaks me. My mood both lifting and lowering. The depression becoming unreasonable, but my mind can’t make sense of what’s reasonable anymore.

I lower my phone to the bench beside me and clear the way for my fingers to stroke the keys again. I press down on the centre one, a lowdingfilling the empty room around me.

Tears fall again, no longer able to be kept at bay.

I cry because I’m sad about Mom.

I cry because I’m no longer with Della.

I cry because I’ve gotten a husband, like I dreamed of.

I cry because I shackled myself to a man who wants little to do with me.

Another finger presses down onto another key. And then another. Not making any music per se but causing sounds regardless. Sounds my ears have long missed.

Sounds that make me feel…dare I say it?

Happy.

Makes the tears slowly dry up, as my gaze locks on the phone by my side. If I understood my husband’s intentions, it’d be better, but taking off to Vegas right away, gave me no chance to figure him out. He still remains the handsome man I ran into at Della’s engagement party, and watched from across a dance floor at the wedding reception.

Every sound clears away the misery bit by bit. I’m not ungrateful, and I hope he doesn’t think so.

Just confused.

Over his actions.

Over my emotions.

Over what in my brain decidedthissituation was best.

Erico

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