Page 110 of The Sound in Silence

Caladin

Pfft. You wouldn’t survive without me by your side.

Me

Keep pissing me off and we’ll test that theory.

Caladin

Ha! Big words coming from a man cooped up in his home for, what, three days now?

How is she?

Surviving.

It has been three days, but it’s only felt like one. We talked a lot in that time. Sometimes in bed, most times on the lounge chairs by the pool. I preferred outside because the sun and sight of the property gave her something to look at rather than the darkness beneath the blankets.

She identified what the depression feels like for her—the shadows and darkness, as she referred to it, but indicated grey levels. The stages she feels her mood dropping in before she reaches complete blackness.

Either way, she’s agreed to inform me if something triggers her. In truth, I don’t know how to help her, but I want to. Want to know so I can try. When I told her that, she said my presence has been helping her.

I don’t think I’ve ever grinned so fucking wide.

Caladin

Hello?

Me

She’s better today. She’s managing.

Over the days, I tried to avoid the topic of fertility unless she brought it up, despite it being such a prevalent subject, what triggered her darkness. She never did, so I didn’t mention anything. In the silence though, I thought about every route, have been sending emails back and forth with the doctor, who’s apologized over and over. As much as I wish I could find it in my black heart to hurt him for delivering the news, it’s not his fault. There is no fault to place anywhere. Just shitty facts we must live with.

Caladin

So you’re back at work now?

Me

Reviewing the contract from your meeting the other day.

A contract for a new weapon’s dealer. One who’s promising an arsenal that’ll rival even the Russians. Maybe then, it’ll shut my father up.

Caladin

I’m free then?

Me

Yes. Thank you.

Yesterday, Ariella expressed interest in getting up on her own. So she dressed in a bikini that had my blood heating and I joined her for a swim. It was for only twenty minutes, but it felt nice.

And she accepted my kiss—acceptedallof my kisses over the days. I kissed her until I couldn’t any longer, until I risked ripping the swimsuit from her and bending her over the pool’s edge. An activity I vow to do soon, when she’s ready. She apologized, but I waved her away. If her mood brings her to a place where eating is a struggle, I certainly don’t want her feeling pressured to have sex.

Today, she awoke and told me she’d be using her piano for the morning. Wanted to get back to playing. Said she’s only a light grey now. As much as I craved watching her perform, still eagerly awaiting to hear her sing, I took the chance to get work done.

As soon as I set my phone to the side, finished with my conversation with Caladin, my office doors burst open. The start of a smile graces my face because other than Carlotta, who doesn’t come in here, and a couple guards stationed around for protection, Ariella’s the only other person in the house. But the person who enters lowers my countenance faster than I ever believed it could drop.

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