Page 101 of The Sound in Silence

“Ariella, I’m so fucking sorry, but I refuse to accept this. I’ll hire a dozen more doctors to continue testing, if I must. This isn’t over.”

Still no response, but I’m not expecting one. Her gaze has remained open and empty, desolate as she zones out staring at the bed.

After a long moment, her ragged breath blows over my arm, easing me. At least, she’s trying. “It is,” she whispers in a tone more broken than anyone I’ve ever heard use. “Because this all makes sense.”

“How does this make sense?” I stroke her face, clearing the strands of hair away.

“Because everything good in my life ends, so it was only time we did too.”

We’re not over.The thought flitted in my head sometime between Dr. Rancott’s call and when I took Ariella into my arms. Unions within the mafia are to ensure the bloodline continues, and as a Rossi, it’s of the utmost importance. My entire purpose for agreeing to a marriage at all—Ariella, Aurora, Vanessa, or anyone else—is for an heir.

But Ariella became much more than that.

I won’t let her go. A million tests can have the same outcome, and I refuse to release her. Ariella’s mine for better or fucking worse. Everything else can be figured out later.

“I’m not letting you go,” I tell her. “I don’t care what one doctor claims.”

“Yeah,” she replies, her tone filled with doubt. “And when multiple tell you the same thing?”

“Still won’t matter.” I grip her the back of her neck, forcing her to look in my direction. “Ariella, there are other ways.”

“Your family—”

“Fuck my family.” For the first time ever, I mean it too. Mother and Father will lose their fucking minds, but I don’t care. TheFamigliawill see this as a betrayal…but I don’t care. The organization I’ve spent my entire life breathing for is secondary to the tiny woman in my arms.

Ariella pushes against my arm, trying to sit up, so I help her since it’s the most sign of life I’ve seen from her since arriving home. Her expression is still desolate, staring at the bed rather than me.

“You know what the funniest part inallthis is?”

There’s nothing funny about it, but I wait for her explanation.

“Growing up, my plan was always to have the fairy-tale ending. Not sure why or where that dream even came from, but all I knew, is getting a good job, meeting someone to fall in love with, eventually marry, buy a house, and begin a family was it for me. Then Mom met Stefano, and within years, all my possibilities were ripped away. Interesting how someone else’s relationship can deem that, but it was their marriage that led to her eventual death. The accident that tookmefrom me.

“And then my life ended. I was shoved into a medical centre, only ever visited by two people. The random day Nico dropped in, I sensed changes unfolding. He offered me an out, to be free with Della again, so obviously I took it. But then they got together, and at that point,” she shrugs to herself, “I already lost the future I dreamed of, so I remained with the Corsettis. Mom’s marriage brought us into mob life, and Della’s relationship kept us there. Besides,” she snorts lightly, “what was the point in leaving? I didn’t believe I could have the life I once dreamed of, and who’d want me anyway? Mute, unable to function normally. Pretty pathetic.”

My hands curl by my sides, ready to counter every single one of those points. If only she’d look in a damn mirror because I craved her the moment I met her at Corsetti’s engagement party.

Her eyes lift slowly to mine. “You want to know why Itrulyvolunteered to marry you? Other than the fact that I’m downright pitiful and pushed myself onto you. I was seeking some sort of semblance of my dreams. I never deluded myself into believing you’d love me. Marriage to you isn’t what it’d be for me, but it’s okay.” She scoffs. “Makes me a masochist, I guess. Marrying you would also give me the children I wanted. If the past version of me ever looked into the future, she’d see this. At least from the outside, I could pretend to have achieved my dreams.”

Gutted. It’s a sickening feeling—fact—to be helpless. I can’tdoanything to help her through this. There’s no one I can hurt who’ll fix this. Just endless doctors to provide hope.

“Ariella—”

“But now, it’s fucking over, Erico. It’sover.” Her gaze finds me again but there’s no more sadness. Not for the moment. She’s moved through that stage of grief. No, there’s a brokenness instead. Acceptance mingled with misery mixed with anger. “You need an heir, and I can’t provide one.” I’m about to counter, but she continues, her voice firmer than before, “You know what theworst fucking partofallthis is? I fucking fell in love with you. Ilove youand when I’m able to finally say it, it means nothing.”

She loves me.

I’ve never wanted a woman’s love. Neverfelta woman’s love. Even my own mother’s love was distanced. A mother’s love, sure, but once I reached ten-years-old, I spent more time with my father than her, allowing her to return to her pre-child life of shopping, alcohol, and parties without concerns. Despite wanting a sibling, I never got one because I’m certain they only had sex to create me, and once my mother was pregnant with a boy, they accomplished the goal of their marriage.

That’s precisely what I expected mine to be like. I never expected to gain my wife’s love.

ButAriella’slove, I crave like fucking air. I’ve been grasping at it for days now, unaware that’s what I was even reaching for. Perhaps I have since the beginning, since the moment she volunteered for this union, and I was able to see the silent woman from the party wasn’ther. It wasn’t her entire personality, despite the façade she dressed herself up in. There’s more to her and I found myself wanting to uncover it. Longed to taste it for my own.

Longed forher.

A stray tear drips down her cheek.

I’ve fucked up again. After everything she disclosed, my response is lodged in my throat behind guilt. The guilt that it was my own doctor who brought this all to light, guilt I’ll also never be what she wanted. She craved normal. To fall in love.

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