Page 33 of The Freedom in Captivity

“Arousal can be faked.”

No reply.

“What changed, Rozelyn? When in that fuckin’ head of yours did you decide to stop fighting me—fighting this—and decide this would be the way to remain alive? Think distracting me with your pussy will save you?”

Little does she know, it just—No. I shut down the stupid thought.

With a huff, I stroke her core one more time, watching her face as I sink a single finger halfway inside her. Her eyes flutter shut and that’s it. She falls victim. She officially loses herself to not fighting. I once told her down here would involve a mental game and she turned the tables on me.

The chains holding her arms jangle, a low moan filling the room. She shouldn’t be enjoying my downfall.

She’s wet. She’s taking my finger. With little preparation, I can have her on my cock.

My confused, rattled head can be satisfied by morning, allowing me to focus again.

“Flynn,” she whispers in a low tone, no fight whatsoever. “Flynn, I told you we’d find our way back to one another. This is…”

Wrong,I mentally finish for her. This iswrong. There’s wanting to hurt her, to rid my mind of her, and then there’s this. I can’t hurt her, but I also can’t play into her games. Intoanyof these mind games. Hers, mine. Fuck.

I tug my finger from her slowly, exiting bliss, and her eyes reopen, her mouth parting in question. In disappointment, which annoys me further consideringI’mthe one unable to sleep because of her.

I release her like she’s on fire, both of us panting. I push back two steps, needing to put distance between us.

Why did I think this was a good idea?My hands rub at my face. I’m exhausted. I should have gone back to bed after my stint outside. Should have gone anywhere but here, thinking being around her could ease my dick enough to let the rest of her go. From day one, she’s been my fucking addiction and what’s to say she won’t suck me right back in?

“What the hell was that?”

I wish I knew.

“Do you want to fuck me or hurt me?”

Both.

She huffs, clearly annoyed with my stares instead of gaining answers. “Well, maybe you should figure that out first before you come here again.”

“What’s your game?” I finally ask.

“No game.” She rattles the chains again, making a meaningful expression. “Bit stuck, if you haven’t noticed.”

“You know what you need to do to get out of here.”

She shrugs a shoulder. “Not sure, Flynn. Kinda enjoying the feeling of being used and abused like I’ve been. Strung up when it’s convenient for your own mental battles. That’s what all this is about, isn’t it?” Her brows lift. “You think touching me will ease whatever fuckery’s going on inside your head, but ask yourself, how’s that working out for you. As much as you try to, you can’t erase our past.”

I hate that she’s right.

About me, about my purpose down here, about everything.

I move before I realize what I’m doing, my hands around her neck before I think it through. My thumbs pressing right beneath her chin on either side, sucking the breath from her lungs before she can make another snarky comment. I walk us backward, though there’s nowhere for her to go, making it no farther than the three steps the length of the chain allows.

My mind is fuzzy again. My thoughts erratic. My reasoning and sense long gone.She’sdoing this—she’s always done this. This reminds me of the days leading up the break-up, when she had me feeling fucking insane because she was different that week. I was so on edge that when my father made his typical comments, I didn’t remain silent any longer. One swift punch to the face and I was finished with his ass—with the emotional and mental abuse that came along with living with him.

Breaths come heavy from my lungs. No air feels enough to clear the dense fog covering the sense buried deep inside my head.

“Did you even fucking love me back then or was everything you said a lie?”

Of all the things I was going to say to her, that wasn’t one of them. It was nowhere near the top, but some-fucking-how, it’s what made it between my lips. Perhaps, it’s my need for her response. If it’s ano, my brain can catch up to reality.

But if it’s a yes?

---