Page 110 of The Freedom in Captivity

Half-surprised he gave me the answer, I shove off the desk and walk away. “Then I’ll take a bus ‘til I find her.”

You’re not leaving yet, mon soliel. Not until you face me one more time.

Rozelyn

It’s been hours. Two of them to be precise. After thirty minutes of standing on the sidewalk, staring at the bus station and getting bumped into a handful of different times as people go about their days, uncaring about the ghost of a woman standing in the middle of their walkway, I moved to lean against the building instead.

There’s a huge possibility one of the dozen of buses I’ve seen come and go in the past hour is the one I’ve needed to begin my cross-country trip to Yasmine, and that missing it means waiting hours, or even until tomorrow for the next one out.

But that consideration still hasn’t made me budge from my spot.

Neither has my growling stomach.

Not even the dark cloud that took over the sun about an hour ago. People walking by mentioned the weather forecasters predicting rain today, which means soon, I could get soaked.

And still, I remain. Feet stuck to the cement, heart to the city. Or more so, to one particular man.

Going inside means obeying Nico. It means finding Yasmine—possibly. Or dying, because who knows what I’m about to walk into. Going inside begins this next chapter.

Am I even through the previous chapter?

My entire life has been decided by other people. Dad controlled everything, right down to me breaking Flynn’s heart eleven-years-ago. If I ever had a friend, it was Aurora, and he ruined that too. Hell,Ifucked that one up in my determination to keep myself safe.

Guess Dad is right about one thing: keeping myself safe is most important.

But, is it really? In some ways, it’s all I’ve done. Shut the emotions off to protect my heart, my sanity, as my life changed around me. Mom, Flynn—people taken from me. Della, Ariella—people I wasn’t allowed to get close to.

Walking away from Flynn the first time was to save him. But this time, there is no reason.

I stare between two high rises, in what I think is the direction of the Corsetti property, but I’m so turned around, I can’t be certain. Whatever job Nico gave him, is Flynn home now? Has he noticed me gone yet? Does he even care?

That wonder burns the edges of my heart.

He could very well be done with me. This might be the clean break we both need. No conversation. No goodbye. The first time I had the chance to say goodbye and the agony was excruciating, so this is better.

Is it? Is that why my insides feel like they’re ripping apart?

Besides, my feelings for Flynn don’t matter when it’s my sister’s life on the line. I need to find her, make sure she’s alive, and bring her home. Wherever we choose to call home. Montreal is all her and me have ever known. Plus, we still have our house here, but maybe starting anew would be safest.

Yet, it’s not enough to drag me inside the bus station.

I’m aware of precisely what holds me back, even if I won’t admit it to myself. Won’t say the words I both know and feel. The statement regarding Flynn. To do so feels like I’d be choosing him over Yasmine, and I can’t do that.

But as quick as the guilt starts to gnaw at me, when it has me pushing off the building and turning for the door, I stop again.

Ican’tleave. Not yet. Not until at least talking to him.

I’m not choosing him over Yasmine. I’m doing what I should have had the opportunity to always do. To say goodbye in a way we both deserve.

To admit—

He might very well push me out the door anyway. I’ll go and say what I need to and the outcome will be in his palm. He can make the decision. I chose for us years ago, and it’s now his turn. Our story feels unfinished. Eleven-years-ago, it was, and we were given a second opportunity. Getting on a bus now is throwing away that opportunity.

I deserve this.

So does he. Fynnisgood enough and he must know that. It’s up to him to decide if I’m good enough for him.

Instead of turning for the door, I head to the curb, prepared to hail one of the many cabs that continue to stop, dropping off and picking up bus travellers. As I wait for the next one, I turn my head up, catching the sun partially edging the dark cloud.

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