Page 1 of Changing Grades

CHAPTER 1

SIENNA

Dress that looks damn good on me and hugs all my curves in just the right way? Check. Hair done and looking better than it has in a while considering messy buns are life? Check, check. A night out where I know I’ll probably hate every second of it, but I won’t turn it down because being a single mom is rough? Check, check, check.

I look over my make-up one more time and nod at my reflection. This is, literally, the best it’s going to get. I’m not going to this reunion to impress anyone anyway. Hell no. I’m going so I can get out of the house for a night and be around adults.

Adults who will probably want to tell me all about the success they’ve had over the last 15 years. They’ll want to parade their partners around or maybe relive their high school glory days. As if any of it makes a damn bit of difference at night when you’re all alone with your thoughts, even if you share a bed with someone.

I have a feeling I’m going to hate every minute of tonight, but I also can’t resist. It’s a right of passage, just like high school was with all those milestones we couldn’t wait for because we had no idea what real life was going to be like. Or how hard it would be.

It was all shiny lights and idealized versions of ourselves when we looked out into the future, but now we’re here. Or there. Whatever. Now we must face the reality that we had no idea what we wanted. Fuck, we barely knew who we were.

I’m not sure I have a better handle on it now, but I do know what is important in my life.

As if my thoughts conjure her into existence, my bedroom door opens and my almost 12-year-old daughter, Callie, walks into the room. She looks at my outfit and makes a motion with her hand for me to spin around, which, of course, I do. I’ve done the same to her so many times and I guess it’s time for a little payback.

“You look amazing, Mom,” Callie gushes and my heart fucking swells with the love I have for her.

Getting pregnant with her was not planned and, in many ways, it derailed my entire life, but I wouldn’t change it. There were some very tough times, but I devoted my life to being her mom and doing the best for her I could. I’ve never wavered in my devotion from the moment I looked down at the pregnancy test to find everything had changed.

My parents were a little disappointed when I left college, without my degree, and returned home to Denver to have Callie. They supported me and they never shunned me. Most importantly, they never treated Callie like she was a mistake.

I suppose I could have stayed on campus and tried to finish out the year, but it felt like such a big thing. Especially after Callie’s father, who I had been dating at the time, started to spread rumors about me and my pregnancy. He told people I cheated on him, and he wasn’t the father. If that wasn’t bad enough, people believed him. He was very good at being charming and manipulative. I didn’t want to see the truth before everything went to shit, but it became much harder to ignore after I told him I was pregnant.

He's never been in Callie’s life. He’s never tried to contact me to find out if he had a son or a daughter. As far as I’m concerned, he’s Callie’s sperm donor and nothing more. I’ve done everything I can to ensure she doesn’t feel rejected by him. Still, there are times when she gets a look of longing in her eyes, and I wonder if she’s missing out on having a dad in her life.

If there is a man out there who is supposed to fill that role for her, we’ll find him. When the time is right. I’ve been devoted to my little girl and making sure we have the best life we can with what we have. I haven’t had time to date a lot and I’m more than okay with it.

Being with her father all those years ago and his reaction to my pregnancy left me feeling more than a little sour about the opposite sex. I haven’t been ready to jump feet first back into the whole dating thing. Not as a single mother and not as someone who has been burned before.

No, thanks. I’m good.

I shake off those thoughts and focus on the only thing that really matters to me—my daughter. “Are you excited about spending the night with Grandma and Grandpa?”

Callie’s eyes light up as she nods. “We’re going to make cookies and Grandma said I could stay up as late as I want.”

I barely hold in a groan. She’s so good for me and is always following my rules. Having one night without those same restrictions isn’t going to hurt her. Let’s not look too deeply at the fact that my parents were strict with me. It’s different when it’s their granddaughter, I get it. Mostly. Kinda.

“Just not too late,” the words slip out, but all Callie does is roll her eyes.

I can’t help but smile at my daughter. She’s turning into a wonderful young lady, and I can’t wait to see the woman she grows into. I hope I’ve given her a great foundation so she’ll always respect herself, be strong, and know her independence is a strength and not something she has to give up for someone else.

I know the time when she’ll be interested in boys is right around the corner. I hope I’ve instilled the self-confidence she’ll need to navigate puberty with grace. I felt like a damn albatross as I went through all those changes, but I think I did better than others.

I was nice to everyone and friendly with a lot of different groups of people in school. I wasn’t one of the mean girls because we definitely had those. I didn’t judge others. I dated, but I was never part of one of those ‘it’ couples. You know the ones. I was considered one of the smart girls but was still relatively popular.

I hope Callie is like me. She started middle school just a few weeks ago and is so grown up in so many ways. It’s killing part of me, but the rest of me is so damn proud that I’m able to push away that sting of my baby growing up.

“Come on,” I glance at the mirror one more time and smooth down the skirt of my dress, “this is about as good as it’s going to get.”

Callie smiles warmly, her eyes which are like mine, thankfully, are filled with love. “You look amazing, Mom. She comes over to me and grabs my shoulders, looking very serious for a moment. “I know you’ve only cared about being my mom for a long time, but tonight I want you to go and have a good time. An actual good time. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.”

I blink at my daughter, and I swear I see her twenty-year old self standing in front of me instead of the eleven-year-old. I swallow hard and nod slowly. “Stop trying to be so grown up, you’re still the kid here,” I tease her which earns me a giggle.

When we get to my parent’s house, she gives me a quick hug and is out of the car quickly, while throwing a goodbye over her shoulder. I watch as she goes up to the door where Mom is standing and waving at me. I know she’s probably hoping for the same thing Callie is—that I have a good time and forget, even if only for a night, about all the responsibilities on my shoulders.

I take one more look before I drive away and head to the high school. It’s not far away from my parent’s house considering they still live in the same place they did while I was growing up. It’s not the richest neighborhood, but it’s comfortably middle class. The school is situated in such a place, though, that it pulls from a few different neighborhoods, some which weren’t as well off as mine and some even more so.

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