Page 16 of Reckless Desires

I’m done thinking about all that today.

At least, that’s what I tell myself.

Eleven

Bordeaux

Hamartia (n.) a flaw that causes

the downfall of a hero.

___________

“Daydreaming about me again?” I ask her. I think maybe she’ll roll her eyes or tell me to get lost, but instead, she visibly jumps backward, bumping into a row of records and knocking them over with her ass. “Whoa.” I laugh and walk over to help her pick them up. “Jumpy, huh?”

Something in her face tells me she didn’t expect me to be so forward. I can’t help it. I love messing with her.

“Sorry to disappoint you, Bordeaux, but not every woman you meet daydreams about you.” She rolls her eyes.

There she is.

Every single time she acts like that—with her quirky smiles and her eye rolls—I become even more infatuated with her.

The bells chime, and to my complete dismay, my stumbling father comes in the shop’s door.

Fuck.

“Bordeaux! I know you’re in here!” he slurs, knocking over a display stand. “Ah, fuck!” At least he acknowledges his mess, though he doesn’t stop to pick it up. “I need some fuckin’ money, son! Where the hell do you get off? My card was declined.”

I run over to him, putting both hands on his shoulders, looking at him straight in the eyes, shaking him into alertness. “Dad. How the hell did you get here?” I notice he’s wearing the same old, ratty T-shirt and sweats as the last time I saw him. My place is done being renovated so I’m back there now, and after cleaning up his place as much as I could, I bailed. “What are you doing? Have you even showered?” Of course, he hasn’t showered. How often does he actually bathe? I can smell the liquor permeating out of his pores. Clenching my fists at my sides, I feel my face grow warm as he sways in front of me, his eyes darting between mine.

“The nerve of you. You need to get your hearing checked or somethin’ because I told you I’m out of money.”

The more he talks, the angrier I become. “You need to get out of Frankie’s store. If she saw you in here, she would have your head. You don’t belong here, especially when you’re like this. Do you know how upset she would be? This is fucked, Dad.”

He rolls his eyes and pushes my hands away. “Give me fifty and I’ll get out of your way, Master Daniels.” He bows, almost falling over, mocking me.

I try to walk him out of the store, but he trips over absolutely nothing and flys forward, crashing to the ground in a heap of bullshit. “Ah, fuck.” He rubs his head. “That’ll hurt tomorrow.”

No, actually, it won’t. You won’t feel shit. You’ll make sure of that.

“Let’s go,” I say, hoisting him back up and pulling him by the arm out the back door of the shop, refusing to go out onto the street where dozens of fans stand peering in.

After I call his friend and tell my dad to wait outside for him, I do the walk of shame back into the store, my stomach in knots.

“Sorry about that,” I say to Isla, not looking at her. She has long since finished picking up the records and is now putting on a Killers album. Runaways drifts from the speakers. Good choice. Maybe, had I run away after my mom left, I wouldn’t still be picking up the pieces of my family over a decade later.

“Sorry about what?” she asks, a small line appearing between her eyebrows.

Well, that’s cool. Is she really going to make me relive that nightmare? She turns from the record player and walks over to me. “You have nothing to apologize to me for.”

“Okay, good. I just—”

“Bordeaux,” she interrupts me, “you don’t have to explain. I understand.” I’m grateful, but I wonder what’s going on in her head. What is she making of that fucked-up display that just played out in front of her? Of my father, stumbling in here like the mess that he is? “Sometimes people aren’t who we want them to be.”

Isn’t that the damn truth?

“I’ve never heard something more true in all my life,” I say, and then realization hits me. “Wait. Did we just have a conversation without you rolling your eyes or telling me I’m not as hot and awesome as people think I am?” The smallest, tiniest smirk spreads on her face.

---