Page 21 of Chapel

“Your closure was cheating on her with me.”

“My cheating was a mistake. Telling her was an even bigger one. I’ve accepted that I lost her, but I need closure, Tiff. If you can’t understand that, I’m sorry.”

Tiffany sighed. “You promise that’s all this is about?” I leaned against the wall, wanting to hear the end of their conversation. “Closure?”

“Yeah. I owe her that, and I want to clear my conscience for you.”

At the sound of that, I chuckled and walked away. That was total bullshit and Tiffany would be a damn fool to believe it. Somehow, I ended up at Jeremiah’s office instead of mine. After the night we kissed, things pretty much went back to normal. The rest of the weekend, we saw each other twice and talked as if nothing happened. Closing the door behind me, I sat in the chair on the opposite side of his cherry oak desk.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, sitting up in his seat.

“What makes you think something is wrong?”

“Your eyebrows bunch like that and you nibble your bottom lip when you’re upset or in deep thought. I know you’re upset when you don’t grab your neck. That usually means you’re struggling with what you said or something you want to say.”

“You swear you know me so well.”

I mirrored his smile. “I do, so what’s wrong?”

I ran down everything, from listening in on Tiffany’s conversation with Vana and Brook Lynn to what had just happened with Nova. As always, Jerry’s expression remained blank as he listened. When I’d imploded on him and released it all, he stood and walked over to the large window that faced the downtown area.

“Because your intentions aren’t pure, this isn’t going to be an easy and peaceful journey, Chap. You have to be prepared for Tiffany and her minions to talk their shit.”

“I thought you agreed I should do this?”

I walked over and stood beside him as he said, “I agreed because I know you’re going to do this either way. I also told you I wanted you to focus on your healing and happiness.” He looked down at me and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. “I’m just saying, you have to have thick skin if you’re going to go through with this. I’m not going to let your temper ruin what you’ve created here. When you’re at work, be on your best behavior. I don’t want you fighting that girl here or anywhere else, you hear me?”

That was the difference between him and Allegra. While Jerry may not have agreed with what I was saying and doing, he still handled me gently, with love and respect. That was why I felt so comfortable with him. My body relaxed against him as I nodded my agreement.

“Yes, sir.”

Jeremiah chuckled and placed a kiss to my forehead. He took my hand into his and squeezed it three times before walking me to the door.

“Go get ready for your meetings today. Have a good day, Angel. Don’t let Tiffany or anyone else pull you out of yourself, okay? You’re bigger and better than that.”

“Okay,” I agreed softly, lifting my arms for a hug. He held me tight—close. He always smelled so good. Clean, crisp, fresh. After pulling in deep lungs full of his scent, I released him. “Thanks, pooh.”

Jeremiah sucked his teeth and I laughed instantly. “I told you about calling me that.”

“And I told you I’m not going to stop.”

I lifted on my heeled toes and planted a kiss to his nose before hugging him again. As much as he claimed to hate the name and affectionate gesture, Jeremiah never wasted any time returning it with a kiss to my neck. After releasing him, I made my way to my office with a huge smile on my face.

I loved how he always had the ability to put one there.

11

That Wednesday

I was startingto think I made the wrong choice.

Jeremiah was right. I needed to focus on my happiness and healing. So much of my life revolved around my friends and my work. Now that my crew wasn’t as tight as it used to be and work was a little tense, it seemed nothing in my life was going right. I needed to find peace and happiness alone, and that was easier said than done. The last year of my life was spent feeling insecure and unsure of myself as a person... a woman. As lonely as I was, I had no desire to be around people. Now that I was, not having a healthy relationship with Nova or Allegra was harder to digest than I thought it would be.

Truth was, I wasn’t the badass, coldhearted, vengeful woman I wanted to be. I wanted revenge, more than anything, but trying to get it was going against my nature. Nova asked if we could meet up to talk this weekend and I agreed. I wasn’t sure if he was sincere about closure, seeing as that was the opposite of what he wanted when he visited my home, but he was right… We needed it. An entire year had passed since we last saw each other. I wanted to be able to walk around WCSF and act as if he didn’t exist, but I couldn’t. This man had been an integral part of my life since I was fourteen years old. I couldn’t just… ignore that—ignore him—no matter how much his choice hurt me.

Because that’s all it was, a choice. A choice to do what would please him even if it hurt me. Because he made that choice, it was my responsibility to choose to protect myself, heal, and keep myself safe and happy. The more I thought about it, the more I could understand why my mother stayed. The life she had with my father meant more to her than his cheating. It wasn’t that easy for me. No matter how happy I was with Nova, I couldnevergo back.

Yesterday was weird.

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