Page 34 of Give Me a Reason

“It sounds like you’re due for it then,” Ireland said with a wink.

Finn groaned. “And that’s what I’m talking about. Ireland might not be the best influence.”

Ireland bumped shoulders with him. “Hey.”

“I’m just teasing. You wanted a roommate, and now you have one,” Finn said.

Was there a tinge of sadness in his voice, or even resignation? I must be projecting because there was no chance that Finn was interested in me long-term. If anything, I irritated him with my views on relationships and weddings.

We had nothing in common except his sister, whom I was now living with. I wondered how often they hung out, or if he came over. Would he show up to eat her food and watch her TV? The thought sent tingles through my body. I liked the idea of running into him in a casual setting.

There was something about that moment in that quiet room away from the wedding that helped me see Finn differently. And last night, when he’d showed up at my apartment, insisting on taking me home, I knew he was a good man.

Wanting to know more about his past, I asked, “What was it like growing up together?”

Ireland tipped her head back and laughed. “Chaos. Pure chaos.”

“We had each other, and stepdads, stepmoms, stepbrothers, and stepsisters. It was a revolving door of new family members.”

Ireland shook her head. “It was exhausting after a while. We stopped caring about them and held on to each other.”

“We couldn’t count on anything in our lives to be consistent, not where we lived, our rooms, or our schedule.”

“At least we were always able to stay at the same school. Thank God for Grandmother’s trust.”

“You had a trust fund?” I asked like I hadn’t heard rumors of it before. I’d heard of trust funders, but they didn’t go to public schools like we did. They’d travel to Baltimore for the private schools. Around here, if someone asked where you went to school, they probably meant high school, and where you attended was a big deal.

“Grandma wanted us to go to her alma mater, St. Paul’s.”

“I’ve heard of it.” I’d heard the name but not much else. Those kids didn’t hang out in my sphere. Even the kids I babysat for weren’t in that realm.

“So, yeah, we had each other and school.”

“Are you close with your parents?” I asked them as the waitress filled our water glasses.

“Mmm. I wouldn’t say close. We tolerate visits with Mom and Dad, and whoever they're dating now,” Ireland said with a laugh, as if their parents’ dating lives were a joke between them.

“We stopped caring about their comings and goings a long time ago. It was easier to focus on ourselves and where we were going.” Finn’s voice was gruff.

“It was a good lesson never to get attached to anyone. People come and go. Very few stay,” Ireland said, tracing a path on the lip of her glass with her finger.

“That’s kind of sad.” My family might have been poor, but our family motto was that we stuck together. That’s why I felt so guilty for moving out and wanting a different way of life.

Finn tipped his head. “It’s just the way it is. Don’t feel sorry for us.”

I didn’t respond because I did feel bad for them. It was crazy because they probably always had enough money, food on the table, and a roof over their head. They weren’t picked on at school because they fit in. Yet, their upbringing didn’t sound ideal.

Finn’s eyes dulled. “If anything, my parents think I’m slumming it as a teacher, but I love it, and it fits with my life. They hate the musician stuff even more. They think being in a band is a waste.”

“Your parents said that?” I couldn’t help but ask.

Ireland laughed. “Probably not in so many words, but being in a band is beneath their image of us. We went to a prestigious school, so we should have become doctors or lawyers.”

“Yeah, majoring in music was not what they wanted for me.”

“I think it’s great. If that’s where your talent lies, you don’t have a choice.” I could draw but never considered it a talent. Not that it would have mattered if I had. There wasn’t money for sports or lessons.

“That’s what I always say.” Ireland patted his arm as the waitress arrived.

---