Page 78 of Give Me a Reason

I crossed my legs. “I want that too. I’m just not sure it’s smart.”

“To hell with smart or what’s right or what anyone thinks. For once in your life, will you just live in the moment? Let go of responsibility.”

“I don’t have the luxury that you do. A trust fund to rely on. Friends and family.”

“You have us, and I don’t touch my trust fund. That’s not who I am.”

“But it’s there if you need it. It’s a security blanket.”

“I’ve never thought of it that way.”

“Why would you? You’ve never known anything different.” I didn’t want to sound jealous or bitter. I was just stating the facts. Ones that Finn never acknowledged, apparently.

“Are you judging me?” Finn asked lightly, but from the tension in his body, my answer mattered.

“No. I’m sorry if that’s how I made you feel. I just wanted you to understand that I don’t have a trust fund to fall back on. I don’t have a safety net or a network of people who’d come to my aid.”

“That’s what you are to everyone else in your life. You help your parents and your sister, but you never think of yourself. Hell, you were living in that awful apartment to save money for your sister. You have a good heart. I just wish you’d take a second to focus on yourself, on what you want. Don’t let life pass you by, giving everything to everyone else.”

“There’s nothing wrong with caring for your family,” I said, feeling a little light-headed at his characterization of me.

“There’s only something wrong with it if it’s at your expense,” Finn said.

His words hung between us, making me uncomfortable.

“You’re a good person, Aria. You’re kind, thoughtful, and so giving, but who takes care of you?”

“I don’t need anyone to do that,” I insisted stubbornly.

Paisley, who’d been swinging from one rung of the monkey bars to another, lost her grip with one hand. Her other still clung to the bar. “Daddy!”

Finn moved to her and held her steady so she could grab the rung with her free hand. He let go but stood nearby in case she needed his help again.

I thought about how I felt the few times Finn expressed concern about my safety. It felt good. Nice, even. Not something I was used to feeling. I was the one who took care of me, and there was nothing wrong with that, but it would be nice to let someone else help me. Finn was on to something, even if I didn’t feel ready to hear it yet.

It wasn’t a conversation you had with a fling. We were supposed to be carefree sex whenever we could find an empty room. If I gave in and give him the night he wanted, how would I feel afterward?

Would I leave with my heart intact? Or would he steal it? I was a giving person, and I was a fool to think I could play around with Finn and not lose myself.

He saw me in a way no one else did. He understood my family dynamic without ever having met them.

The crazy thing was, I had a feeling he’d fit in with my family. He wasn’t anything like my ex. He had a trust fund, and he grew up privileged, going to fancy private schools, but he lived just like me. He worked hard, took care of his daughter, and cared for his family and friends.

He was the whole package. If only he could see the potential that I did. He didn’t need to be his parents. He wasn’t destined to have the same history as them.

And maybe he’d be a better boyfriend or husband because he was aware of the things that could happen when you didn’t work on your relationship.

Finn headed toward me, holding Paisley’s hand. There was something about a father holding his daughter’s hand that sent a pang to my heart.

Finn tipped his head to the side, seemingly aware of the effect he had on me, and asked, “You want to grab hot dogs? There’s a new gourmet stand by the water.”

“That sounds perfect.” I would do anything to prolong this day. I sensed it would be coming to an end all too soon.

“Yay! I love hot dogs,” Paisley cheered as we headed toward the gate to leave.

“You’re easy to please,” I said.

“Kids usually are. They love chicken nuggets, mac and cheese, and hot dogs. If I can squeeze in a vegetable a week, that’s a win.”

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