Page 96 of Selling Innocence

Nem let out a low curse, telling me the blow had landed exactly where I’d meant it to. Any comparison between my father and Nem wouldn’t sit well, not for her.

Just a little more. “Just give me a little time. I want to date if I want, to pick where I live, to succeed and fail on my own. I want to fall in love, to make mistakes, to experience things, but how is any of that possible if I just walk the safe path you’ve prepared for me?”

“So what are you asking for? Do you want me out of your life entirely?”

“No, nothing like that. I love you, Nem, and I know how much you’ve done for me. I just need space. I need time to work things out myself.”

“How much time?”

“I don’t know. I’ll contact you, okay? I promise, I’ll keep in touch, but wait for me to reach out. Don’t send Jarrod, don’t send the Quad, don’t come yourself. Let me make my decisions on my own and trust that I’m capable, that I can do it myself.”

It took a long time for her to speak again, and I nearly cracked in the meantime. “Okay,” she whispered. “I’ll do as you ask, so long as you swear you will contact me the moment you need anything. I don’t care what it is, how big or little an issue—I’ll be there the second you need me.”

This might be the last time I ever spoke to her, so I had to make it count. I had no idea what the future would hold for me, how much freedom I’d have with Lorien. The pain of all the things left unsaid with my mother, with my father, they haunted me. I didn’t want that with Nem.

“I know that. I don’t think I’ve really thanked you, not enough. You’ve always been looking out for me, even when I didn’t even know you lived. You never turned your back on me, even when it would have been so much safer and easier for you to do so. I can’t thank you enough for that, can’t make that up to you, can’t repay that debt. I love you, Nem, you and the Quad. You all taught me so much, and you made it so I could live my own life. You all”—I lifted my gaze to Jarrod—“even a very grumpy fox, are all my family. So, I promise, the moment I need something from you, I’ll reach out.”

“Okay,” Nem said softly. “Then I’ll hang up now. You be careful, Kenz, and check in occasionally, please. If you don’t, the Quad will be all over my ass with worry.”

I laughed even through the tightness in my chest. “I promise.”

Jarrod ended the call and slid the phone into his pocket. He didn’t speak at first, and something in his gaze made me suspect he didn’t quite believe me.

Then again, leave it to Jarrod to see through my bullshit.

“Who are those men?”

“What men?”

He tilted his head as though to scold me for lying so poorly. He wouldn’t be mad about my lying, just about doing it badly. “Finding you wasn’t easy. I’ve been here a few days, and I spotted you at the college a few times. You always have one of four men around you. I would have followed you from there, but the one who wears a suit clearly has training and would have spotted a tail.”

I swallowed hard, not wanting to put them in any danger. “They’re friends.”

“Friends? Is that what kids are calling it nowadays?”

My cheeks heated, but I tried to play that off as though I hadn’t noticed. “Aren’t I allowed to have friends like that? I am an adult, after all.”

Jarrod remained silent until I looked into his eyes. “Are they forcing you into anything?”

“Of course not.”

“You’re lying to me. You’re easy to read, and I know all your tells. You want us to leave you alone, but you stand here and lie to me about something so basic and important.”

Jarrod was far too good for me to hope to get anything over on him. So, instead, I steeled my courage and told him the truth—at least, a part of it.

“I’m not afraid of them. They haven’t hurt me or caused me any harm.”

“Truth,” Jarrod said softly.

“I don’t need you to do anything, to rescue me, to intervene at all. I know what I’m going to do and how to do it.”

“Also true.” He frowned softly, as though coming to an idea that he’d never considered. “Do you love them?”

I went to tell him no, to tell him of course I didn’t love them. I barely knew them, and during that short time, we’d lied to each other more than seemed possible. They frustrated me and we argued and we had no future. In what world could that be love.

Except, I couldn’t say that.

I thought about my time with each of them. I recalled how Tor bought sugar-free treats to ensure I always had them available. Vance’s smirk as he teased me, the way he always stood just a bit too close, the fluttering inside me when I reacted to it. The way Hayden made me feel impossibly safe, as though the rest of the world slid away when I was by his side. Even Char, with this sharp tongue, had made me feel valued, had made me want to see a real smile from him. I cherished those memories, and they made the truth dangerously clear to me.

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