Page 74 of Run Like the Devil

He shook his head, the action causing his hair to shift, a few strands catching the breeze. How could his face appear so young but his expression seem so ancient? It was a strange juxtaposition that I couldn’t seem to square. “I can’t settle inside. I don’t belong there.”

“Why not?”

He pulled his gaze from mine and looked out at the forest beyond the fence. “My world didn’t have much technology. We were far more closely related to our natural surroundings. We slept where we wanted, strong enough to easily withstand the elements. We were the apex predators, so nothing bothered us. Sometimes, when I’m inside, it feels wrong.”

“But it’s cold out here.”

“Not to me—but you are more fragile. You should go back to the heat.” He paused, then let out a long breath. “Back to them.”

“Why are you acting like this?”

“Because it is clearer and clearer to me that I am not good for you. The longer I spend here, the more I lose my grip on my mask, the surer I am that I will only hurt you in the end. They are from your world—they make more sense for you.” He took a step backward, then turned and grasped the latch of the gate.

But I was tired of this tiptoeing thing we were doing. I was sick of him pulling further and further away. If I didn’t do something, he’d end up out of reach.

So despite the way he took long, sure steps, seeming to pay me no attention, I chased after him. I grabbed his arm and yanked him to a stop, just outside the fence line.

Yazmor sighed but didn’t turn toward me, didn’t look at me. “Why are you so unreasonable?”

“I thought you liked that about me.”

“I thought I did, too. You are chaos incarnate, something I can never predict or truly understand. You make things interesting that have been dull for a very long time.”

“So why are you ignoring me now?”

“I am never ignoring you. My life would be far easier if I could.”

“You running away isn’t ignoring me? What is it, then?”

He turned on me then, his eyes seeming to glow in the dim light outside. “I am always watching you.”

My breath caught in my chest at the intensity of his gaze as his words sank in. I thought about what he’d done to Clint, about how he had saved me with Wayne, the pharmacist, even when it hadn’t seemed he’d been paying attention. There was truth to his words, that he’d always been right there to jump in, to pull me from the fire, even at times when he seemed so far away.

He seemed to realize I understood, because he cupped my cheek in his large, warm palm. “I will always watch you, but that doesn’t mean I need to be close to you. Perhaps my purpose is a yard dog—something to guard his masters but not fit to live in the house.”

The amount of self-hatred in his voice broke my heart. I turned my face to press my lips to his palm, wishing I could make him understand.

He pulled his hand away, a pained expression on his youthful features. “You are too foolish for your own good. No matter how much I warn you, you don’t understand the danger.”

“So you’re just going to avoid me? You think I’ll allow that?”

“I think that no matter how stubborn you are, you will eventually see reason, and I can outlast your foolish romantic notions. Besides, I don’t think I can hold this form much longer. It’s taking everything I have to do it, so I’m sure everyone will feel better if I stay a little farther away.” When he pulled away again, taking a few steps backward, I found myself frozen.

I knew when to push and when to hold, and this was a time to hold. Yazmor wouldn’t hear a damn thing I said right now anyway, so I might as well let him go.

He wandered into the fog until I lost sight of his silhouette, until the swirling gray out there ate every bit of him.

Still, I stood in the cold, watching where he’d gone, all that warmth I’d felt before disappearing until I shivered.

What else could I do?

I hated this feeling, the helplessness, the doubt. It ate at me, magnified by the Path, until I ran my fingers through my hair in a rough motion that probably pulled a few strands.

I hated the idea of not being able to help, but I had to believe that I could do something later, that with time we’d figure it out.

None of that helped the aching in my chest at his absence, at the gnawing feeling that the Path was stealing everything I cared about.

When I’d gotten here, I’d thought the risk would be my life, the lives of those around me. I hadn’t realized that the true danger wasn’t that we’d get ourselves killed.

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