Page 50 of Run Like the Devil

Something warm and hot and hard brushed my lips, and I responded by mouthing softly at it. I dragged my tongue across it, wishing I had my wits about me enough for more. I wanted to take it into my mouth, to drag that masculine scent into my lungs and let it saturate me.

“Loch.” The sound of someone calling my name dragged me deeper into the fantasy. I imagined them whispering my name into my ear, of them groaning it softly.

“Loch!” That time I couldn’t even pretend the voice was teasing and seductive. If anything, it sounded panicked.

I blinked, opening my eyes, startled for a moment to still see nothing.

Oh, right, the darkness…

I sat up, immediately thrown by an inability to figure out my surroundings. Without sight, I felt adrift and dizzy.

Worse, my heart raced, my skin somehow both chilled and flushed at the same time. My body felt electrified, and my cheeks heated as I recalled my dream.

Wow, I must be a lot hornier than I realized. I didn’t usually have sex dreams like some teenage boy. Worse, as reality came back to me, I realized I’d been lying in Tyrus’ lap.

Which meant his voice must have been the one calling out to me.

“Fuck,” I muttered softly as it all fit. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s fine.” Even though Tyrus said that, his voice came out tense.

Which made me think about when I’d first woken up. I recalled the firmness against my lips, the way I’d touched it with my tongue.

All that came together to mean…I’d been molesting Tyrus in my sleep.

Just wonderful.

As if I couldn’t have made this shit any more awkward just by the dream alone.

Of course, knowing that didn’t seem to settle my own body down at all. Not even the mortifying shame could douse my lust at all. If anything, it made me want to keep going. I missed the warmth, the security, the moments there where I’d felt good for the first time in far too long.

“I won’t do anything to you,” Tyrus said as if to reassure me. “You don’t have to worry.”

“I’m not.” My words came out strong, and it helped me realize, I told the truth. I wasn’t worried that Tyrus would hurt me.

“Your voice is shaking.” This time it wasn’t Tyrus but Hale who spoke. Somehow I’d almost forgotten he was there because of the darkness and my lust-muddled brain.

“I’m not afraid you’ll do anything—either of you,” I repeated, then forced myself to say the next part. “I’m afraid you won’t.”

Twin inhalations—sharp and loud—came as a response.

If I wasn’t about a moment from begging, I would have laughed. These two men, who had brought countless to their knees, who had survived the worst of the Chasm—who were the worst of the Chasm—had still been surprised and rendered speechless by little ol’ me.

It gave me a boost of confidence, a reminder that they weren’t just anyone. They were mine.

And I was through being afraid of them, of this, of myself. I might not be sure of much, but I was sure of what I wanted at least.

“Please,” I asked.

“This can’t be a good idea.” Tyrus spoke slowly, as if trying to make me come to my senses. “After what you went through, this can’t possibly be good for you.”

“Don’t I get to decide that?”

“It’s dark. You can’t even see either of us. How do you know that you won’t panic?”

I owed it to him to at least consider that. “I can’t say I won’t, but I couldn’t say that no matter what. No matter how much time passes or what happened, trauma sneaks back up. Will I panic? Maybe. But I can’t let that fear stop me from doing what I want. Please, I feel cold, like I’m frozen all the way down inside me. I just want to feel warm…”

And I was sure he understood that I didn’t just mean the temperature in this fucking place. I meant so much more, a chill so much deeper than that, one only these men could save me from.

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