Page 9 of Run Like the Devil

“A bad plan,” Gorrin muttered.

I grinned at his complaining tone. “That’s fine. I am an expert in bad plans!”

And the groans of each of the men said they didn’t disagree at all.

* * * *

Gorrin

Walking through the halls of what had been my home for so many years struck me as odd. I never really believed I’d return here, not after everything that had happened. In fact, if I’d have been forced to discuss my feelings about this place before coming back, I’d have said it didn’t matter to me.

Stone and walls and barren floors had meant nothing to me. It had been a place where I kept things, a place from which I went from, a base of operations, but nothing else.

Or so I would have said.

Why was it then that walking through these familiar halls made my chest tight? Why did each turn feel oddly familiar? Why did they make a strange warmth grow inside me?

Even more than that was the sight of Loch walking ahead of me.

I had, of course, known she’d taken over. I’d watched over her, seen her flailing, but somehow that was different than actually standing beside her now. It forced me to recognize that she had truly taken my place.

It wasn’t jealousy that I felt—at least, I didn’t believe so. I had no animosity about it, didn’t want to take it back, yet it made me consider her in a different way.

She had been someone I had felt the need to protect. I had wanted to save her from herself, from the pain I knew had waited for her, but now?

Now she could stand on equal footing with me.

I still recalled the pain of the knife she had buried in me, the agony as it had nearly killed me. No, not just the pain, but the shock. I had never thought she would have that will inside her.

Leave it to Loch to manage to outsmart me, to go further than I would have ever thought her capable of.

She had planted her feet where she stood, and no matter how hard I pushed, how much force I exerted, she had refused to move. I couldn’t help but respect that level of fortitude.

And yet watching her in her new position made me feel nostalgic. I wore my old outfit, the one I had from my first days as an angel, the one Hubis had given to me. I had cherished it so much at first, as if it were a promise to myself, a command of who I was to be.

Yet, as years passed, no matter how I put it on each day, I struggled to feel that same pride. I had lost myself along the way and wearing this uniform did not help at all.

We crossed into my office—no, Loch’s office, I reminded myself. The room was much the same, with the basic items all as they had been before.

The well in the corner, the desk, the shelves, the couch.

A twitch in my cheek threatened to turn into a smile at the memory of that couch, at how Myers had given me a sharp look when I’d asked for it. Never before had I cared for having any true furniture in my office since I didn’t want anyone to stay long enough to need it.

Yet somehow, soon after Loch had arrived, I’d asked for it. The sight of her standing had bothered me, especially when it forced her to leave before I wanted her to. She hadn’t mentioned the arrival of it, though a line in between her eyebrows had said she’d noticed how strange it was.

“I thought you would have changed more.” I noted a few missing items, such as books and pieces of décor. “Though some things have been moved.”

“I didn’t get rid of it,” she said, voice soft in what almost sounded like an apology. “It’s all packed safe and sound.”

“Why? It wasn’t as if you thought I would return for it.”

“It felt wrong to get rid of it. It was like…like doing that admitted you weren’t coming back.”

Which brought me to another topic. “You visited my grave.”

She flinched, and it took me back to the sight of her on her knees, to the pained words that had left her. That had tested my resolve more than anything else, the desire to take her into my arms nearly having overcome my good sense.

“You saw that?” As soon as she asked, she paused, then let out a quiet laugh. “I felt like you were there, like you could hear me. It’s rude to eavesdrop, you know?”

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