Page 83 of Run Like the Devil

“Guardian could be the pet. Who needs a pit bull when we’ve got him, huh? We could make meals, live a nice, quiet life, and worry about nothing.” I let out a sigh as the thought consumed me, as I wrapped it around me and sank into the fantasy.

No running. No fighting. Nothing but time with the men I cared about. I didn’t have to worry about something taking them from me, about us drifting apart. We could just be us.

That was something that existed nowhere else. Even if we dealt with Hubis, even if we won, this wasn’t over. We would never be free from the obligations and worries of the world. If anything, we’d only entangle us further in the mess, only take on more responsibilities if we came out on top.

I glanced over my shoulder, in the direction we’d come from. I couldn’t see the house anymore, but I still stared as if I could.

No one spoke, but what was there to say? I wanted the impossible.

So I sighed and turned my back on that fantasy. It was a nice dream I could revisit at night, but for now? I had to focus my attention ahead.

“A life like that is still possible,” Tyrus said.

“I don’t need you to lie to me. No matter how this all goes, we won’t ever be free from our obligations. We won’t ever be able to just walk away from it.”

“Perhaps, perhaps not. One reason I have worked so hard in my position, why I can be so ruthless, is to create a measure of order and peace. If we all continue to work, if we overcome what is before us, we can shape our future in whatever way we want.” He glanced around, looking toward Gorrin and Hale with a question in his gaze. “Even if it isn’t the future we might have expected.”

Which took me back to the night before, back to when Gorrin had touched Tyrus, to the lust in Tyrus’ eyes. None of the men got along all that well, but I continued to see sparks of something more, a sign that they no longer simply orbited me, that they had some connection between them as well.

Why did that warm me? Why did I care?

I stared down at my feet as I took one step after another, my mind working.

I pictured this all going badly, thought about what might happen if I never made it back. If this ended me, if I were gone, what would that mean for them?

In my mind, I saw them as they’d been before—isolated and alone. No, worse than before. Being alone sucked, but it was made so much worse after a person knew what it felt like to not be alone, after they experienced feeling wanted and accepted.

The idea of them in that state hurt so much worse than it should have.

They deserved more. Sure, they were psycho killers with little if any conscience, but they still deserved happiness.

So the idea of them finding a bond together made me feel as if, should things go badly, should I fail, they could still be okay.

“Drink.” Hale held out his water bottle, the metal of it cool as he pressed it into my palm. “You don’t want to get dehydrated.”

I should have rolled my eyes at him—again, since that was my go-to reaction when any of the Lords tried to mother me—but I couldn’t deny he was right. I was thirsty. It was the sort of thing I often didn’t notice. Usually, I just poured more coffee on top of a subtle unwell feeling.

The water was crisp and cool, something surprising in a place like this. I would have figured everything would taste mildly like dust, as it did in the Chasm, but thus far the water we’d found was always clean tasting.

Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.

After gulping a bit, I went to put the lid back on.

Before I could, something touched my leg. I glanced down, ready to glare at whatever I’d walked into. With the trees around, the dead branches scattered in the dirt and my inability to lift my feet high enough, I constantly tripped over things.

I looked at what touched me, but it took my brain a long moment to work it out. Before it could, the thing touching my leg wrapped around me and yanked.

The air rushed from my lungs when I hit the ground, and despite the startled shouts of the men, no one had time to react.

Guardian had me…

My back hurt, the dirt scraping against it as Guardian yanked me through the fog. I grabbed for branches and trees, but everything passed me too fast for me to catch.

Pain spread through my side as I bounced off the trunk of a tree, Guardian’s tentacle never loosening its grip on my leg, wrapped around at least twice and squeezing so tightly that it reminded me of watching a boa constrictor eat a mouse once.

Of course, getting eaten was probably a much better option than the other things tentacles could do…

And who thought I’d ever have to pick between those two options?

---