Page 49 of Cougar

I know the men have a mole in the club. They work to hide everything they can from the ladies, myself included, but I hear a lot more than they realize. I can piece it together with the smallest bits of information. Plus, I’m really damn nosey. So while I don’t see my son’s bike or truck, I wouldn’t be surprised if they’re in there now, talking about whatever it is they’re going to do to finish this shit.

I get as many bags as I can from the trunk and make my way up to the house. A muffled noise makes me stop. I look around, but I don’t see anything. I take a smaller step and wait. When there still isn’t anything, I make my way to the front door. As I get there, I hear the shuffling again. When I turn, I see two figures running away from the house.

“What the fuck? Who the hell was that?”

I strain my eyes, attempting to see, but it’s pointless. Whoever it is didn’t want to be seen. I swear, it’s probably a prospect and a club whore thinking they can get away with fucking on Prez’s couch while he’s out.

Getting inside, I place the bags on the floor at the door. I’m about to turn and get more when it clicks how damn quiet the house is. Even if it’s Ken and Theo by themselves, those two don’t know what inside volume is.

“Hey, guys? Where are you?”

I walk through the living room and make my way to the kitchen, “Guy’s are you—Aaahhh!”

All I see is them on the ground. When I take a step forward, my foot slips, and that’s when I see the blood—so much blood covers the ground. It’s coming from the love of my life and one of the best friends I have ever had. I can’t stop the scream that erupts from my throat, just like I can’t fight the body-wracking sobs that come next. But I still have the wits about me to not go in any further and call 911.

“Do you need police, fire, or an ambulance?” The bored voice on the other end speaks. I try so hard to make my voice work, but all I can manage is a broken sob. “Hello? Is anyone there?” They ask again, almost annoyed at this point.

Fuck El, pull your shit together, then fall apart once this is handled. I take a deep breath and croak out, “Ambulance.” I give them the address, and they ask me to check for a pulse. There is so much blood. I am terrified to touch them and have my worst realities confirmed. I try to calm my breathing, but I am sure it sounds like I am hyperventilating in this poor person’s ear. They are now more sympathetic to me, trying to coax me into giving them the necessary information.

I slowly reach my hand down to Theo’s neck and place pressure. I move it around to make sure it’s in the right spot when I feel it. A light thump of his heartbeat, and I can’t help the sob of relief that pours from me when I say he has a pulse.

I look over to my husband, the love of my life, and it takes so much more for me to make my way to him. I have to pull out more emotional strength to go to him. There is so much blood that I slip and fall into the warm puddle of their life force. My hand shakes as I reach for Ken, and before I can touch him, I hear footsteps pounding up the steps. With my next blink, the paramedics are running into the kitchen.

“Ma’am, I am going to need you to step back. We got this, okay?” The older one says, running to Theo. He rolls him over to check him and look for what is causing the blood loss.

“But I need to—” I start and reach for my husband again.

“Ma’am, my partner is coming with another crew. I need you to back up so we can do our job.” He sternly says as he holds pressure on Theo’s torso.

I stumble to get up and am bumped by the other medics coming in. I fall into blood again because it’s fucking everywhere. It now covers my pants, hands, and shirt. Getting up, I somehow make my way out the door. When I’m outside, I look at all the red covering me. I hold on to the railing attached to the deck when I feel the bile burning up my throat. I know Theo is alive, but Ken…. Oh god.

I don’t know if I will ever see my husband again.

At that thought, I can no longer choke it down and empty everything from my stomach over the railing. I heave everything when I hear a commotion behind me. I look to see one set of medics rushing out with a bloody Ken hooked up to a monitor. I try to see if there is a heartbeat when I hear one of them yell that his heart is going out of rhythm and they need to get him to the hospital. They load him up and drive off the property.

I can’t even make it one step to follow them when the other set comes out. One of the medics is on the stretcher, pumping Theo’s chest. The other pushes the stretcher to the back of the ambulance. I watch as the paramedic on my best friend yells they got him back before the doors close. The other jumps into the driver’s seat, following the first ambulance off the property.

All of a sudden, it’s silent again. I hear nothing but the sirens in the distance and the frogs croaking. A soft moo, followed by a horse’s whinny, reminds me of the life I’m still surrounded by. I take a deep breath, and as I release it, I hear the telltale sign of the cellar door. It echoes from the far end of the property. At this time of night, with how still it is, every little sound carries over the flat area surrounding the house.

I’m in shock. I know I am, but even still, I’m running—my adrenaline pumps, carrying my feet faster than usual. The guys aren’t going to be at my house right now. All the girls and the kids are there. The guys are busy trying to get all this shit figured out. They wouldn’t have heard the sirens. Even if they had, they wouldn’t think they’re on the property when they’re all together. Or they assume they know where everyone is.

I push myself, chanting to myself, they need to be here. They need to know what is going on.

My legs and chest burn as I run as hard and fast as I can to get to them. I need to get to Jonathan. I have to see that my boy isn’t bleeding somewhere as well. I need to get to my family and have them help me navigate this. Otherwise, I am going to be left broken.

I see them. As I get closer, I see dark, human-like figures mulling around where the cellar is. The closer I get, I see none of them is my son. I go to rush past them when Gears grabs me. Stopping my run to the door.

“Let me go!” I shout.

“El? What the hell happened?” He holds me out and must see all the blood. The blood that is still all over my son’s floor. Oh god. I need to make sure the girls don’t see it.

“Mama?” Rambo is here too. He touches my shoulder, and I flinch away from him and Noah.

“I need Jonny. I need my son. Get me him now!” I’m screaming. I know I am, but I can’t control it. I have zero control over my emotions right now. Every time I blink, I see them. Again and again, I see them lying there on the floor, covered in blood. When I don’t see that, I see the medics pumping my husband’s chest. Or, I hear them screaming about losing them. “Don’t touch me!” I shriek. “Get me Jonny!” I start swatting the hands that are trying to grab my arms and hold me back.

I am fighting to get past them when I am wrapped up in arms and lifted from the ground. I scream, kick, and yell. I am running off so much adrenaline that when I am held close, the pressure of the hug triggers something else, and I can’t hold back the sobs. I hear Nate in my ear, shushing me like I’m a distraught child. It’s soothing enough to snap me from my rage and bring me to another emotion. I go limp in his hold and cry out all of my frustration and emotions. There are so many of them, I cannot even pinpoint any.

I hear the door, followed by my son calling me Mommy. I struggle from Nate’s grip and reach for my son—falling into his arms.

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