Page 60 of Lacey's Fight

Ignoring it hadn’t helped any of them.

Certainly hadn’t helped Pearl and her anger, or Opal with her fears, or Ivory with her workaholicness. And it definitely hadn’t helped her with her need for sex to feel in control of her fears.

Maybe talking it through together would help all of them.

Definitely couldn’t hurt.

Because she had absolutely no intention of making a fool of herself in front of Ben all over again, Lacey kept her tone brisk, expression neutral. “You didn’t fail me, and we’ll stay close to one another. For this mission we’re partners and partners watch each other’s backs.”

And if she wished that maybe they could be partners of a different kind after this mission she certainly wasn’t going to admit that out loud.

His features softened, and Ben reached out and palmed her cheek so softly he was barely touching her. “I did fail you. It was my job to look out for you and I didn’t. In my book that’s a pretty epic failure. Lacey.” He sighed, pulled back, then stood and crossed the room. When he turned back to face her, he scrubbed a hand down his face. “I’m so sorry about what happened. I know you haven’t told me much, but if you need to … talk about it … I’m here.”

He sounded so sickened by the whole thing, like he pitied her, like the very last thing he wanted to do was listen to what happened and her humiliation snapped to anger.

“You want to talk about it?” she shrieked. Okay, not quite a shriek because she was aware that there were still some of the guests at the manor house and their rooms could be close by. “You know what happened. He hit me with his whip because he likes to see people bleed. And he raped me. Well, sexual assault I guess, depending on the exact definition of rape you want to go with. He didn’t put his penis inside my vagina, but he did use his fingers, and his mouth, and oh yeah also his gun. I don’t know how he smuggled it in here, or maybe he stole it from one of the guards, no idea. Is that what you wanted to know, Ben?”

Yep, she was definitely a basket case right now.

Breathing hard, she was so mad, so hurt, so … everything … that she could barely see straight. Couldn’t think straight.

Ben was right, she should have left. Staying meant endangering Ben, herself, and every member of Prey that would be here to raid the compound.

Punishing Ben by telling him that didn’t help, especially not with the raid starting any second now. Already Prey’s men were probably breaching the perimeter of the estate. They’d take out as many guards as they could as silently as they could to keep the element of surprise on their side rather than giving Amelia anything she could use against them.

Her issues were irrelevant right now, so she better find a way to get herself off the knife’s edge she was balanced on.

“Lacey, I’m …” Ben’s eyes were tortured as he came toward her, and she felt awful for being the one to put that look on his face. He had been through enough, had enough false blame on his shoulders, she was a terrible person for adding to that.

Dropping her head, she fought back tears. “I’m sorry, Ben. That was uncalled for. You didn’t need to know any of that and my timing sucks. I’ll be okay, I’ve been through this before and made it out the other side. I’ll make it there again. There is absolutely no need to worry about me, and even less to blame yourself.” Because she knew he needed it, and she truly felt awful about that little meltdown, she looked up and offered him as big a smile as she could muster.

Before he could respond, both their watches buzzed, the signal that Prey was on the property and ready for them.

Thank goodness for small mercies.

As she slipped into work mode, pushing all other things out of her mind, Lacey wondered if this was the real answer to her issues. Instead of trying to use sex to control herself and her emotions she could always just throw herself into her job.

Maybe she could even open her mind to the possibility of forever with a man.

It was such a foreign concept to her, and yet as she glanced at Ben who had also snapped himself back into work mode like their conversation and her meltdown had never happened, not as terrifying a one as she would have thought.

For now, though, none of that mattered. After all, what was potential marriage and happiness when there were lives hanging in the balance?

“Stay close,” Ben reminded her as they slipped out into the hall.

While they’d had to leave all their weapons behind when they came to the estate, they’d come up with a little loophole. The kitchen would make you whatever you asked for. Anything at all. Including steak. Which came with a nice sized knife. Not one as good as a Ka-Bar of course, but beggars couldn’t be choosers.

Staying close to Ben was a strategic decision not an emotional one. Partners watched each other’s backs, and while she might not have what it took to be someone’s life partner, she knew how to watch her teammates’ backs in the field.

Their job now was simple.

Secure Amelia Kutcher.

She was the head of the snake and you always had to cut off the head. Otherwise, the body had a way of regrowing.

Of course, another human trafficker would pop up to fill the void left by Amelia’s operation being shut down, but one thing she had learned early in her career at Prey was to celebrate the wins when they happened.

No one was ever going to completely shut down the trafficking trade, it made too much money, and filled too big a need, but every operation closed down meant at least some girls were spared the horror of becoming a victim.

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