Page 26 of Lacey's Fight

You either learned to move on from the past or it consumed you.

She didn’t want to be consumed by the hell The Master had put her through.

“Do you see him?” Ben whispered in her ear as he placed his hand on the small of her back and guided her toward an empty table.

The large room was a little like a restaurant. Less formal than the dining room where they would take their evening meal, there were a dozen tables throughout the room, half occupied, and a couple of wait staff dressed in crisp black and white uniforms walking about refilling coffee cups, carrying trays of food, or taking orders.

His voice was gentler than she would have expected, and heat seeped through her chilled body from the hand that touched her back. Even though he hadn’t said the words, all of a sudden, she could feel his regret about last night.

Knowing that helped her to shove away the pain. His words might leave behind some scars, but at least they were wounds that would heal, not fatal ones.

“No, I don’t,” she murmured as he led her to a table and pulled out a chair for her.

“Are we sure he’s going to be here?” After pushing in her chair, he rounded the table and took the seat opposite.

“As sure as we can be. Intel Raven and Olivia’s tech team were able to dig up suggests he will be, but there are no guarantees. Even if he’s not, we can do some good here, we can save lives, and in the end as badly as I want The Master, more than that I want all these innocent victims not to suffer.”

Softness in his dark eyes made him seem less hard angles, and gave him a few smooth edges. Ben was a handsome man with smooth dark skin, high cheekbones, and a square jaw, but he had a hardness that she was sure was designed to keep people at a distance. Same way Pearl had used anger to keep people away from her, Ben used cold disinterest.

It was effective.

And it was certainly going to have her keeping her distance from here on out. She would push away her hurt, do what she had to, but she no longer saw Ben as someone who could have some fun burning up the sheets with her.

There was heat, and then there was being burned, and she had a feeling that Ben might have the power to burn her badly enough to leave more scars if she gave him half a chance.

So self-preservation meant she wouldn’t allow him to have any more chances to hurt her. There would be no more kisses unless the integrity of their mission depended on it. When they were in their room, she would just stay away from him, and when she had to because they were out in the public parts of the house, she’d keep touching to a minimum.

This was why she always kept things surface-level. Sex was fun, friendship was fun, and the chances of getting hurt were much slimmer.

Letting anyone in gave them the power to hurt you and she’d already been hurt so much in the past.

* * *

August 5th

10:47 A.M.

As if he wasn’t already regretting the way he’d lashed out at Lacey last night.

The way the light had gone out of her eyes and never turned back on had a horrible knot of guilt sitting heavily in his gut.

Ben knew he should be used to guilt by now. Living with it for three long years, a constant companion who never allowed him a moment’s respite, it was a wonder he even knew the difference from having more guilt heaped on top of what was already there.

But he did know it was there.

It had taunted and mocked him as he listened to Lacey cry in the shower. It was there when he’d taken his own shower and pictured her standing in the same spot trying to cry quietly so he wouldn’t hear her. It had been right there when he’d stretched out on the couch under the window and tried to get some sleep.

And it had been there this morning when he and Lacey got up, and he realized he was being frozen out.

It was what he wanted. The idea of being attracted to another woman was more than he could cope with. And yet, this wasn’t anything he could cope with either.

Ben just didn't know how to fix it.

Or himself.

Didn't even know if he wanted to fix himself.

He kept close to Lacey as they strolled around the manor house and extensive grounds. While they’d been inside, she’d held his hand and chattered away with a cheerful voice that made it sound like she didn’t have a care in the world. Lacey was one hell of an actress, and he had to wonder what else she hid behind the chirpy veneer she wore.

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