Page 35 of Mr Best Friend's Brother Grump

Raul demonstrates the step. First for the men, on their side. Then for the women as he says, “Es muy muy importante… It’s very very important, do not move on the fourth or the eight beat. Got it? It’s like these numbers no exist. Lemme show you.” He walks everyone through the step, slowly, three times: the basic step, then a turn for the ladies, then back to basic. “Okay, now it’s your turn. Slowly. And then with the music. Listos chicos? Vamos.”

Fortunately for me, it’s a step I already know, so I don’t waste too much brain power on it. The movement and mental focus are recalibrating my mind away from Nathan. After a while, I’m not even thinking about him at all. Well, maybe a little bit.

Raul plays the track, and the class repeats the new step in time with the music up loud. I’m at the back, furthest away from the mirror and I’m dancing, so caught up with the rhythm, I keep dancing when the music stops.

“Thank you, boys and girls,” says Raul. “Now we put it all together with a partner.” Raul holds out his hand at shoulder height. “Lemme show you… Rosa. Ven.”

I thought that I had sneaked in unnoticed, but this clearly isn’t the case. I don’t want to hold up the class, so I do as I am told by my teacher. Raul places one hand on my back and the other lightly supports my hand. He counts out loud, as we move, with emphasis on the one, two, three, five, six, and seven. After our demo, he claps his hands and arranges the guys in a circle in the middle facing outwards, and tells the ladies to each stand in front of one of the men.

“Is like this. When I say change, ladies, you step left to the next guy. Men you stay where you are and, this way, we get to dance with everyone. Bueno. Vamos.”

The music starts and the class practices the steps. My first partner is Mellors. He is here with his lovely wife, Sofia. They are regulars at the dance studio. You can tell that he was a very handsome younger man because he is still very handsome with close-cropped white hair and deep chocolate leathery skin. Even in his senior years, he carries himself with a generous dignity and smiles all the time.

Raul shouts, ‘Change’, and I move to the left and on to my next partner. When the track ends, Raul announces that it’s time for free dance.

“We have music for an hour, maybe more, depending… So, find a partner, introduce yourselves and… dance! I’ll be here for if you need me… Okay… Vamos. Let’s go!”

This is my favorite part of the class. I get to practice the salsa steps with different partners. It’s always fun to dance with someone, but not all partners suit my rhythm. The man is supposed to lead, but some men take this too literally and the dance becomes a sort of battle. The best partners move with consideration of the woman. He guides but doesn’t dominate. He always dances in a way to make his partner look good.

After a while, I take a break to watch the couples moving around together. I learn a lot from watching. Not just about dance steps but how people interact. I’m drawn to Mellors and Sofia. They dance like two people in love. He holds her as if she is the most beautiful woman in the world. It’s obvious they adore each other. They laugh. Perhaps they have made a mistake. Then Mellors walks Sofia over, holding her hand. She sits down on the chair next to mine.

“Oooh, I need a rest,” says Sofia, fanning herself with her hand. She straightens her skirt. Mellors has gone to get a drink for us from the water cooler. I say something about how beautifully they dance together.

“I can’t imagine our life without dancing,” Sofia says with a chuckle. “Even when we have the most horrible disagreements, I’m grumpy and I can’t even look at him… I’ll go to the kitchen and start chopping vegetables.” She mimes the action as if she’s using a machete and not a kitchen knife. “And then, after a while, I hear salsa music. My husband comes and stands in the doorway with that annoying smile and his handsome ways. He doesn’t say anything. He holds out his hand like this.” Sofia raises her hand, palm up. “And that’s it. I melt every time. And we dance. And he says sorry for whatever it is. Usually, it's his fault.” Sofia shrugs. “But, you know, mostly we hardly have those grumpy moments. It’s better to be happy, yes?”

Mellors comes back with cups of water for us. He’s still smiling as he sits down and reaches for his wife’s hand. We watch the other dancers and sip our water. As I watch, I realize what is missing. I realize what I want. I want a partner who will dance with me, and adore me, for the whole of my life. And yes, I wanted exclusive. One hundred percent. Passion. Romance. Love. I didn’t want to share. I’m rubbish at sharing anyway, but the idea of dating other men and casting my net wide seemed to be the opposite of Sofia and Mellors. In a flash, I fast forward fifty years and see myself as Sofia. But who is my Mellors? Could it be Nathan?

When Nathan’s taxi drove away, I thought my heart would break. I felt that I would always be watching him leave or waiting for him to come back. I don’t want to feel that. I want to feel as if I am the most important thing in his life. Exclusively. Always and forever. I don’t want to be second best to anything.

Chapter 30

Nathan

I like the West Coast. There’s a relaxed confidence that you don’t get in New York. It seems as if winning the award in the Artistic Expression category has impressed the right people over here in L.A. I should think about increasing my fee. But, nah. Maybe later.

The meeting with the art director and designer went well. I’ve worked with them both before, so there should be no surprises. The fashion label is doing a line in shabby chic and is doing a joint promotion for the winery which is the location for the shoot. The models are going to be styled with lots of loose hair; silk scarves and ribbons in autumn shades. They want dreamy; soft lighting; in the vineyard with vines and grapes, and glinting sunshine through the leaves. Then interior shots in the rustic tasting room, with bottles and glassware with subtle product placement. We have a couple of days to prep, then it’s all on.

After the shoot, I’ve scheduled a meeting for a potential job at Universal, that looks promising. So, I’ll hang out at Venice Beach. Get some surf action in while I’m here.

I call Rosa from my hotel room, overlooking the beach. I’m excited to talk to her and hear her voice. I listen to the rings as I watch the pageant of beach life stroll, skate, bike, and run past beneath my balcony. The waves are rolling onto the sand in even sets. No wind. No chop. It’s serene. It’s a perfect afternoon.

“Nathan! Hi,” Rosa says after a few rings. “How are you? How’s L.A.?”

I can tell she’s pleased to hear from me. She has a smile in her voice, and I’m relieved about that. I tell her about the meeting and the possibility of another job.

“That’s great news!”

It’s so good to hear her. Part of me wishes I was back in New York. Then out of the blue, I say, “Rosa. I have an idea. Take some time off and come over here. I have a wonderful hotel room, overlooking the beach. You could hang out and relax while I'm in the meeting, then we could hang out and relax together. What do you think?”

I’m listening to quiet on the line for some moments before Rosa says, “That’s a lovely idea, Nathan, but I’m pretty busy getting things ready for the unveiling party. I need to be here. It’s all hands on deck at the moment.”

“Alright. Just come for the weekend. I’ll buy your ticket.”

Rosa breathes into the handset. “Ahh, I don’t know. That’s such a nice thought, but I’m a bit flat out.” She sounds distant. Further than just New York. She sounds as far away as if she is on another planet. “Okay. Sorry, just a minute…” I can hear other voices on the line. “Nathan, I’ve got to go now… Good luck with Universal. I’ll call you soon, okay?” She hangs up.

I feel uneasy and deflated. I so wanted her to say, ‘Yes, I’ll be on the next plane out of here. I can’t wait to see you. It’s been too long already.’ But she didn’t.

I get myself ready and go out to hire a board.

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