Page 65 of The Secrets We Keep

He suspected she was having nightmares, but she wouldn’t say. Always dancing around the subject, never saying anything beyond she couldn’t sleep. It felt like she was pulling away, and the idea of it left a sour taste in his mouth.

“Sienna. Please talk to me.”

She gave her tea one final stir and set the spoon soundlessly in the sink. Her voice was soft, and she wouldn’t meet his gaze when she said, “It’s nothing. Really. I’m sorry I woke you. Just go back to bed. I’ll finish my tea and join you in a bit.”

Luca sighed. “You didn’t wake me. I woke up and you were gone. That’s it.”

Running her fingers through her hair, she pulled it forward over her shoulders, hiding her scar from view. A tell that something was definitely bothering her. She only did that when she was remembering and trying to forget.

“I can’t help if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”

“I told you nothing’s wrong. I just can’t sleep sometimes. It’s not a big deal.”

When he took a step forward, she took one back, and the pain of the simple act knifed through him. Almost instantly, she realized what she’d done and moved closer. Setting her mug down on the counter, she ran her hands over his chest and across his shoulders before pressing her forehead against his collarbone.

“I’m sorry.”

He brought his arms around her back and pulled her closer. “For what?”

“For everything. For all the years we didn’t have together, for everything we missed out on, for this whole mess we’re in now.”

“What mess?”

She wrapped her arms tighter around him and squeezed, burying her face against his neck. “It wasn’t supposed to be this hard.”

He heard the tears in her voice, and it shredded him. What was she so afraid of? This was almost over. They had the rest of their lives to look forward to, and she was talking as if they were days, hours, minutes away from another tragedy.

“I need you to talk to me, Sienna. You have to tell me what’s going on. Whatever it is, we can fix it. Together.”

She laughed, and it was a watery sound, the skin of his neck damp with her tears. “That’s just it. We can’t fix it. It’s an impossible scenario.”

“I don’t know what you mean.” He pulled her back so he could look at her face, gathering the tears on her cheek with his thumb. “Please, baby girl.”

“Do you think we made a mistake? Being together again?”

His hand fell from her cheek, and he frowned. “How can you ask me that? Do you think it was a mistake?”

She shook her head. “Just answer the question.”

“No. Of course it wasn’t a mistake. Being with you, holding you, hearing your voice, loving you.” He gripped her chin and forced her to meet his gaze. “How could any of that be a mistake?”

Stepping out of his embrace, she wrapped her arms around herself and took a deep breath.

“I was fine with how everything was supposed to go. I knew what I needed to do to kill Nero, and I was fine with it. Get in, shoot him, and avenge my family. That’s all I wanted for so long. I spent two and a half years building my life around that inevitable conclusion. And I was resigned to it.”

She laughed, but the sound was heavy and wooden. “And then I walked out of that fucking bathroom in that stupid goddamn hotel, and there you were. And every second of that year we spent together came rushing back with crystal clarity. You were never supposed to be part of the equation.”

“And now that I am?” His voice was little more than a strangled whisper.

He thought he knew where this was going, but he desperately wanted to be wrong.

“And now I don’t know what to do. I have to choose between you and my family, and I don’t know what choice to make.”

“There’s no choice, Sienna. You can have both.”

“How?” she yelled. “How do I have both, Luca? My uncle goes everywhere with at least two bodyguards and Stefano. His house is a fortress, and his cars are made by the same company that makes the fucking thing they drive the president of the United States around in. The best place to get him is at his office. He thinks the building’s security protects him, so he lets his guard down.”

“Which is why you got a job there.”

---