Page 30 of Claimed By the Duke of Ice

“We are a very affectionate family, you know. The Ton has poked fun at my family all my life, even before Matilda’s scandal. We were always too soft with one another, too ready to give hugs or kisses to one another.”

She paused, rolling her eyes as she shook her head at the memory.

“But no one ever talked about how much we laughed with one another. How we could speak to one another about anything, or how we were positively comforted after a harsh word or physical reprise. No one ever talked about how absolutely happy we were to just be in one another’s presence.”

“I must admit, that type of bond is very unfamiliar to me,” Nathaniel replied, “but if it is a bond that you miss, then that is something we can remedy.”

“I’m glad you say so, Your Grace,” Grace said with a satisfied tone, pressing the letter to her bosom. “Before our wedding day, my parents promised me that should I ever need to return to their home, I would be welcomed with open arms. I believe that it might be time for me to do that; that way, we both win. You will get your space. I will get my affection. And we will both have the marriage we needed to stave off a scandal. Since this is a marriage of convenience and not love, that should not bother you.”

Alarm shot through Nathaniel as Grace discussed her plan, and he quickly realized he didn’t want her to leave. He wanted to tell her how much he despised himself for not being able to touch her, how much he wished he could give in to his desires. He wanted and enjoyed her by his side. But as he tried to form the words, he couldn’t.

“There is no reason for you to do any such thing,” he replied diplomatically. “We have plenty of space here for them to come for a visit. It could even be an extended one if you wish.”

Grace’s eyebrows rose in surprise.

“You would allow such a visit?” she asked. “I must admit I did not expect that.”

“Yes, well, I believe that we could both work to make some small contingencies in order to make this arrangement better suitable,” Nathaniel replied. “You have been gracious in honoring my boundaries as of late, and I believe I could possibly honor your lack of them.”

Nathaniel had meant to be humorous in his explanation, but as he saw Grace’s face fall, he wished he had kept such a bit to himself.

“It was a joke,” he said softly.

“Indeed, it was,” Grace rasped, her voice full of emotion as a sad smile touched her lips. “But it was also the truth. It seems our boundaries, or lack thereof, are colliding and making us both unhappy. I want to see my family, yes, but I want other things too.”

“Such as?” Nathaniel asked quickly. “Tell me, and I shall sort it for you.”

“I want children, Your Grace,” Grace replied, her tone full of sadness.

“And it would be much easier to give up on the inclination if I am not here,” she continued, her heart thudding hard in her chest.

The last few days had been torture for her. Even if she was purposely trying to stay out of his way, she’d kept hoping that Nathaniel would come to her. To apologize, to hold her. To prove to her that he actually wanted her. But he hadn’t. Instead, she had received her parents’ letter, and it had been like a sign from the divine that she should give up on the fantasy of making her marriage with Nathaniel work.

“I can understand if that is not what you want,” Grace went on, ignoring the look of shock on Nathaniel’s face. “It is not exactly what I want either. But if I remain here, I will hold on to hope that we could someday change.”

“Grace, I—”

“I hold no grudges, Your Grace,” she continued, “not anymore. You made your wishes clear, and I arrogantly thought I could be the exception to such things. But this is what I believe will be best for the both of us.”

“Grace, I don’t want you to go.” Nathaniel’s words came out in a rush, taking Grace by surprise.

She looked at him, confused for a moment, wondering what it exactly was that her husband actually did want.

“Do you want children, Your Grace?” she asked.

After a moment’s pause, Nathaniel gave her a stiff nod. “It is imperative that I allow my line to continue,” he replied matter-of-factly.

Well, it wasn’t the admission of love she’d hoped for, Grace thought, but it was better than a resolute “no.” She stepped around her desk and took a step toward him.

“And tell me, Your Grace, do you find me hideous?”

Nathaniel looked at her, bewildered.

“I beg your pardon?” he insisted.

“Do you find me unappealing? Unattractive? Do you wish you’d been caught in our circumstances with a different woman?”

“No,” Nathaniel replied quickly, taking a step toward her. “No, not at all. When we touched, my body didn’t—I mean, no. No, I do not find you unattractive. In fact, I find you quite beguiling.”

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