Page 57 of Stray

Ozzy, Jackson is safe. Breathe. You’re just on edge because of everything. It’s fine.

I take another breath as I bury my face deep into his hoodie. He smells so good, like wood and leather mixed with his crisp, clean soap. His poor heart is beating so fast I can’t keep up with the beats.

“Don’t let me go,” I whisper into his chest.

“What?” He says softly into my hair. I think I hear him inhaling deeply. Is he enjoying my smell like I am his?

“You asked what you could do,” I murmur and continue my grounding exercises in my head to keep my anxiety down. “Don’t let me go.”

I feel his powerful arms hold me closer before he speaks. “Never Tink, I’m going to lift you.” Giving him a nod, I feel his hands go under my ass, and he lifts me to his waist. I wrap my legs around him as he carries me upstairs and to his bedroom. Once inside, he closes the door with his foot before taking me to his bed and setting me down.

“I need out of these clothes,” he mutters while stripping off everything but his boxers. He walks to his dresser and grabs a pair of pajama bottoms. I take this moment to start removing my clothes as well.

“Can I borrow a shirt?” I ask, and he turns to say something, only to stare at me in shock and nearly fall over.

“Uh…y-yeah shirt…there should be some in the tit–top drawer.” He shakes his head, scolding himself, and it brings a small laugh out of me.

“What? They aren’t old news yet?” I ask while grabbing a long-sleeved shirt. It has the Rowe Ranch logo on the back- a large horseshoe, and on the front is Jackson’s name over the chest.

“Baby,” he gives me a light chuckle that sounds so tired. “Nothing about you will be old news to me. Now, there’s a sight.” He smirks, looking at me in his shirt. I playfully slap his chest before crawling into his bed.

“Come lay with me before I have to go to sleep.” Jackson climbs into the bed, and I curl next to him as has become customary since our date. I usually lay here until I can’t keep my eyes open anymore and then go to my bed. It’s safer this way, for both of us. I’m afraid I’ll have a nightmare or something in my sleep and lash out or hurt him, so it’s best I sleep alone.

“You could sleep here, you know.” He says into my hair as his fingers trail over my arm. This is also customary. He reminds me every night that he doesn’t care about the possibility of being hurt and just wants me there.

“Jackson,” I sigh while running my fingers over his chest. “I just don’t think it’s safe.” My voice is soft as I press my lips to his chest.

“I don’t want to be alone,” he whispers, and it breaks my heart. Looking up at the man, I kiss him softly while pressing myself closer to him.

“I will stay as long as I can, okay?” I offer, and he nods, wrapping his arms around me.

“Forever,” He says softly. “Stay forever.”

* * *

“Fetch!” I watch from the window as Wyatt throws the tennis ball with all the might in his tiny body, which gets it about five feet. Rocky is a good sport about it, though, and runs around before diving on the ball to get Wyatt to squeal in delight. It’s been nearly a week since Morris passed. The funeral was yesterday, and the entire town showed up to pay their respects. Indy was supposed to come out with Derek, but he told her to stay home for fear she might have a flare-up on the plane ride due to her Multiple Sclerosis. Now that things are quieting down, Derek is leaving tomorrow to head back to California, and Dorothy is hyper-focusing on Wyatt while the guys and Theo run the ranch.

Then there’s me. I walk away from the window and up the stairs to Morris’ room. His monitors and bed have been returned to the medical supply company, and Dorothy is waiting for a new bed to arrive to put in here. All that remains is the chair, my chair. Walking over, I sit in the seat like I have a hundred times over these months. I look down at the bee tattoos on my knees that are peeking through my ripped skinny jeans.

“I know,” I groan while leaning back in the chair. “I went and caught feelings for you, you bastard.” I clench my jaw as I press my lips together. “Real fucking cute of you cutting out before my Christmas bonus, fucking ruddde.” I joke dryly as I rub my hands together. “It’s not fair,” I whisper into the emptiness. “I should’ve never come here. I should’ve told Indy no. I knew I couldn’t handle you professionally, and now…” My voice cracks, and I watch tears splatter over my tattooed hands. “Now I’ve lost you, and I’m going to lose this place and everyone here.” I hear a knock and look up to see Jackson in the doorway.

“Come with me.” He doesn’t wait for my response as he walks off. I wipe the tears and follow him down to his room. Walking inside, I shut the door behind us and watch him remove his dirty clothes and boots.

“Jackson?” I ask tentatively as he gets to his undershirt.

“You okay with keeping your room for another few days?” He asks while walking into his bathroom to wash his hands.

“What?” I ask, following him. “My room?”

“Yeah, Jesus, I’m a mess. I’m gonna hop in the shower. Give me five minutes.” I go to speak, but he closes the pocket door to his bathroom, and I can hear the water in the shower turn on. Trying to keep the image of Jackson naked and in the shower out of my mind, I walk over to his loveseat and sit down to wait for him.

A few days? Is he expecting me to move out? Panic begins to fill me. Of course, he is. He has a whole ranch to run. He can’t have me on his plate, too. After all, I am no use here now that Morris is gone. I’m a nurse, and I have nothing left here to do.

Jackson is true to his word and re-emerges five minutes later in black sweatpants while running his towel through his hair. He’s shirtless, and I follow a bead of water as it runs over his pec and down his muscular stomach.

“So, are you okay with that?” He tosses his towel in his hamper, walks to his dresser, and grabs his deodorant. Watching him like this feels oddly intimate.

“With what? The timeline? Yeah, I should be able to find a place by next week.” His eyes find mine, and he raises a brow.

---