“Cleo...I don’t have any kids. That kid is Cody’s baby,” she yelled back.
“Cody’s baby?” I asked, confused.
Hadn’t I heard from Silas that Cody was gay?
She raised her eyebrows up. “Yeah, they went to Egypt just a few months ago and adopted her.”
That stopped me in my tracks.
Then I felt immensely stupid. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come over this morning. I had a bad night, and I just jumped to conclusions. I just wanted to see you.”
She blinked, surprised at my apology.
“It’s okay,” she said softly. “But maybe you should go home. Come back some time when you’re thinking clearly.”
“I...I don’t want to go home,” I admitted.
“Why?” She asked. “What happened?”
I sat down on the edge of her couch and let my head fall into my hands. “I had two patients die last night. Two separate accidents, but no less severe than the other. One was a two year old who’d touched a live wire that had fallen in her backyard. The other was a young girl who suffered third degree burns in a motor vehicle accident.”
Both cases were still just as fresh in my brain as they were four and a half hours ago when they’d happened one after the other.
“I’m sorry to hear that, Cleo,” she said softly. “But, that still doesn’t help me answer why you’re here at all. You left me, remember? Why now? Why, when I just got my life back in order? Do you know how long it’s been since I cried through the night? Two goddamn weeks. Then one freaking look at you, and it’s all right there again. I can feel everything. It’s tearing me apart,” she whispered with tears filling her voice.
Her head fell, hiding her face so I didn’t see the tears.
I swallowed thickly.
“I didn’t want to die and leave you alone,” I rasped.
She finally looked up, giving me her tear stained blue eyes.
“I would’ve followed you anywhere. Done anything for you. All you had to do was tell me what to do. I would’ve waited. I would’ve been able to live my life knowing you’d be coming back to me…if you were able,” she cried.
I closed my eyes. The pain and terror that had grown for the past year all compounded to that final moment. The exact instant in time that I knew I had to get out.
“I almost died over there,” I grated. “The only thing that kept me alive was knowing you were here for me to come back to you. Whether you thought that you were mine or not, I was always yours. And I always will be.”
Her quiet crying turned to a giant sob, and I gathered her into my arms, burying my face into her neck.
“What will it take for you to give me a chance?” I asked.
My heart froze in my chest, and then started to pound double time.
“I’ll give you anything. Everything. You want me to quit, I’ll do it. You want me to leave the MC, I’ll do it. It’ll hurt, but I’ll do it. Just give me a chance. You don’t have to decide anything right now. But just let me spend some time with you. I’ll prove to you I’ve changed. I won’t freak out, I promise,” I pleaded.
She listened to my explanation, and I could tell it wasn’t enough by the dead in her eyes.
“I can’t. I just can’t,” she said and stepped away. “You can hang with me tonight, but after that, I want you to leave me alone.”
“But you’ll give me tonight?” I asked.
She nodded. “I’ll give you tonight.”
***
“I don’t think I want any kids,” Rue said softly as she practically fell back onto the couch with me.