Awkward.
He put his hand on the doorknob and turned, letting in a gust of cold, morning air. “At least get her to eat something, would you?”
He disappeared outside, the door banging shut behind him.
Rebel peeked over the top of the banister as I was brushing Brooke’s golden hair into the bin. “Is he gone? Have I managed to escape the torture?”
I glanced up at her, trying to calm my breathing. The combo of Brooke’s hair and Kian’s slightly sweaty body were too much. “It’s safe to come down. Come get some breakfast. I bought a bunch of different things.”
Kian wasn’t the only one who’d noticed Rebel never ate.
I had three different cereals, eggs, bacon, hash browns, and toast all lined up on the counter for her perusal by the time she made it down the stairs, an oversized hoodie swamping her petite frame. “Take your pick.”
“Cocoa Puffs for the win.”
She pulled the box toward her with a grin. “Kian would be horrified about the lack of protein and the abundance of sugar, I’m sure.”
“I just want you to eat something. I don’t care what.” I took a white bowl from the cupboard and spoon from a drawer and pushed both of them across the counter to her.
She bristled as she poured a ridiculous amount of Cocoa Puffs into her bowl and added a heavy-handed pouring of milk. “I eat.”
I wasn’t going to argue with her. “What are you doing today?”
Her spoon paused midway to her mouth. “Kian is right. I do need to do some exercise. I’ve been lying around the house for too long. I need to work on my fitness and strength. But ugh. Running is the worst. You know if you don’t let him shout encouragement at you, he just sings instead? I honestly don’t know what’s worse.”
“The singing. Definitely the singing.”
A gold strand of hair glistened on my sleeve in the morning sunlight. My hand started up a new round of the shakes. Did they have her somewhere? Or had they just jumped her on the street and lopped off her ponytail? Brooke was obsessed with her hair, treating it with all sorts of lotions and oils and spending hundreds every time she went to the hairdresser. She’d probably have preferred to lose a toe than to have all her hair hacked off like this.
I didn’t want to be married to her. I’d come here, swearing her problems were no longer mine.
But she’d been a part of my life for a decade. I didn’t want to see her hurt. I couldn’t just walk away, even if I wanted to.
Rebel watched me while she ate. “Are you okay? You look pale and off in your own head.”
I wasn’t okay at all. But I didn’t want to pile my shit on top of her shoulders. She already had enough of her own things going on. “I need to swim.”
I hadn’t thought about it before the words had fallen out of my lips, but even the idea of diving into a pool sent a dose of calm through my system.
Swimming was what I knew. It was where my head cleared because all that mattered was kicking and stroking and keeping myself from drowning. The harder I pushed, the more I thought about sucking in air every time I turned my head.
I’d spent a lot of time doing laps after I’d moved to California. I’d spent hours a day there, away from Brooke’s nagging and her constant whining that I was no fun.
I was no fun because all I’d thought about was Kian. Even though by that point, I hadn’t seen him in years.
I poured myself a bowl of Cocoa Puffs. “Do you want to come with me? Swimming is cardio.”
Her eyes went big, and she dropped her spoon, sending chocolate-flavored milk sloshing over the side of the bowl. “God, you’re an asshole. I nearly drowned a few nights ago, Vaughn.”
I shoved a spoonful of sugary cereal into my mouth, chewed, and swallowed. “So, what? You’re never going to swim again?”
“Exactly.”
I shook my head. “We live minutes from a beach.”
“Good thing I’m so emo then, huh? We don’t like the sun much.”
Clearly, she’d heard me talking with Kian. But I shrugged. “If the shoe fits. Go get your probably all-black swimming suit on and let’s go.”