Page 69 of House of Deceit

“That’s probably good. It will help me get over my giant crush on my wrangler.” I roll my eyes.

“As if I didn’t already know. I can see the glow on you.” Court bounces around in giddy excitement. “Why the wrangler, though? Parker seems like an amazing guy.” She rests her chin on her fists.

“He called me a good girl,” I tell her.

She blinks a few times as she processes.

“I’m sorry, did you come on the spot? Why would he do that to you? Did you report him to HR? Who can work in that sort of sexual environment? Please tell me you’ve ridden him.”

“Why are you being so horny? Are you and J.D. in a rut?”

She points a finger at me as she quickly sips her wine.

“J.D. and I could be having hot, raucous sex, and I would still be frothing at the mouth for these details, and you know it. Don’t be stingy. Give momma the details.”

“Parker is all a ruse for the audience. My wrangler suggested it to help me win favor and get people to want us to stay in the house together. But every time Parker and I do something, it seems like he gets jealous. I don’t know. I’m probably just seeing things I want to see.”

I tell her every detail possible in the short time we have together. Every second lasts a year but also less than a flap of a hummingbird’s wing. But in no time at all, a countdown pops up at the top of the tablet screen, counting down the last minute of our talk.

“Court, we only have a bit longer. I know you don’t do emotion, but I miss you and I hate you. Go ahead and tell J.D. you’ll be coming to stay with me for a weekend when I come home so we can catch up. For real.”

“Deal. You’re going to figure it out, Charles. Take pictures of both their dicks. Preferably with a ruler next to them for ref—”

The call cuts off and the screen goes black.

Silence hugs me as I breathe a non-recorded breath. Knowing there’s not a camera on me makes me want to dance or scream. Or sit here and be me. But nothing in this mansion is permanent. Definitely not silence. A knock shatters the moment like a baseball through a glass window. Alec pops his head inside the door.

“Hey,” he says, a bit shyly. “How did it go?” He pushes into the room, shutting the door behind him.

“Well. She wants pictures of yours and Parker’s dicks,” I tell him, mainly to see his reaction.

Courtney will never censor herself for someone else. If that type of statement shocks him, this would never work. My brain immediately berates my heart for wishing there could be something to make work at the end of this. But my conversation with Court reminded me, outside these walls, there’s a whole life waiting for me to return. Sure, it doesn’t include a job or a couch, but there are people waiting for me. There are things I want to do. And I realized how much I want to do them even if I have to do them alone.

“I’ll send one to her when I get back to my office. She doesn’t need one of Parker’s,” he jokes.

I laugh as the tears I didn’t realize were threatening fall down my cheeks. In the blink of an eye, my face is pressed into Alec’s shoulder, and I’m wrapped in his arms. Picking me up, he settles me onto his lap as he takes my seat. My cries echo around us while he pets my hair. I lose time as he rocks me. As I calm down, he rearranges me so my back is pressed against his front. I melt like butter on hot bread against his chest. He reaches up and tucks my hair behind my ear, trailing his thumb down my cheek.

“I’m so sorry about our fight, Charlie. I fucked up,” Alec whispers.

“You can trust me, you know,” I say.

And I hope he does. Because I want to know him, if he would just let me in. I learned long ago you can’t turn from someone’s shadows. Not if you care about them. Not if you want to know them. The real them. I could look at the blackest pieces of Alec’s heart and not flinch in fear, if he would just let me.

Because I’m falling for this man and I pray he’s falling for me too.

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” he asks.

“I didn’t realize how much I missed being home. How much this entire situation is so surreal and crazy. You can’t do anything without someone seeing it. No matter how much someone acts like your friend, it could all be a lie. It could all be for the game. And that is exhausting in a way I never anticipated. I miss Courtney. I miss my parents. I miss sleeping without the thought that the country will hear me snore.”

“You don’t snore,” he jokes. “I should know.” He huffs out a breath as I elbow him in the ribs.

“You know what I mean.”

“I can only imagine the amount of stress you are under. I always thought I did a pretty good job empathizing with my contestants, but I realize how little I know what it feels like to be going through this experience. I’m sorry it’s been so hard on you.” He runs his fingers up and down my arm, and my attention focuses on every touch.

He continues. “You’re so close to the end. You’re over halfway and you’re doing a fucking killer job. You have to keep at it for a few more weeks. And I’m here for you when you need someone to talk to. Even if it’s not about the show.”

I nod.

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