Page 52 of Scapegoat

“You’re not just a roll in the hay,” I told her, staring into her eyes, wanting to get lost in those silver depths. “Not some chick to just get off with.” My voice was failing me, my heart beating way too fast, but I pushed on. “You’re the only fucking one for us, Kai. Our mate. And I want our first time to be more special than just rutting in the grass while mosquitoes bite our arses.” I slapped at one buzzing insect for emphasis.

“Special, huh?” She nodded at that. “And here was I thinking I’d finally get laid.”

“Finally?” Jay frowned. “What does that mean?”

“Nothing—” she tried to say but he grabbed her by the waist and dragged her closer.

“Not nothing.” Jay’s voice was a growl then and his hand slid down her bare stomach, tracing circles on the skin. “Spill or I’ll tickle you into oblivion.”

“Like you used to do when we were kids?” She went to struggle free of him, but his grip tightened and that’s when she realised she had our full attention. “It’s not a big deal. You guys are building this up to be more than it is. I just…” Her eyes found Atlas’ and stayed there. “I haven’t…” She let out a frustrated huff. “I haven’t slept with anyone else since that night, OK. There were offers—” All three of us growled at that. “But it never felt right.” Her arm went back up, curling around Jay’s neck, leaning into him, and he hunched over her protectively. “Like, I kicked myself every time I turned someone down, because I knew you were Anna’s mates but…”

“But touching someone else felt wrong, bad and set your wolf’s teeth on edge,” I told her. “Because you could never imagine letting your guard down, letting anyone else see you that vulnerable. Because all the times you imagined touching someone else in your mind, you saw us.” I watched her bristle then. “Just like we saw you.” I shook my head slowly. “We haven’t been with anyone else either.”

Her eyes widened at that, then she looked each one of us over closely, as if to make sure we weren’t lying.

“There was never going to be anyone else but you.”

Kai grabbed Jay’s hand, looking at it closely, as if it was something brand new, then stroked her fingers across his palm until his closed around her hand.

“You think I could stand any other woman touching me?” he told her in a low voice, his lips brushing her ear. “You’re the one, Kai, the only one for me.”

“My mate,” Atlas announced, as if that was enough explanation. “I couldn’t—”

“None of us could,” I told her. “We belong to you and only you and that’s why we’ve been everywhere, looking for you, Kai. We don’t care where we stay and what we do, as long as it’s with you.”

I hated the fact that my mate had been hurt so much and so often, that when I offered her my heart on a platter, she just stared, her frown growing deeper and deeper by the second. Loving Kai was like giving your heart to a wounded wolf. Its teeth were bared, expecting you to be yet another enemy, while secretly hoping you weren’t.

“That’s what you want,” she said finally. “That’s why this can’t be just a means to scratch an itch. You want more than that.” She met my eyes then. “You actually want me.”

Everything, that’s what my heart beat out, all she had to give and then a bit more. But I didn’t say that, not wanting to send her off running again, this time potentially further away and much harder to find.

“Always,” I said, smiling slowly, even as I felt tears prick at my eyes. “Always.”

Chapter 31

When I’d started the day, I hadn’t expected to be sitting in the tray of their truck, wearing Atlas’ hoodie like it was a dress, munching on a burger. I also never expected the three of them to be so focused on me that they watched my every mouthful. Things were different now and it wasn’t just that we were away from fucking Stanthorpe. There was no hiding what we felt, pretending the bond that throbbed between us wasn’t real. We didn’t need our parents or the alphas or anyone confirming what we knew.

They belonged to me, like I did them.

That thought was like a long, deep exhalation. It eased a persistent ache in my chest that I’d just learned to live with, so much so that I hadn’t really been aware of it most of the time. Knowing the depth of our connection, fully taking it on board, made me feel whole again. No, not just whole. It was more than that, it made me feel like I was overflowing with something hot, intense and beautiful and so I reached out, my pulse picking up when I grabbed Atlas’ spare hand. He didn’t put any pressure on me, he just watched me move, and his fingers laced through mine the minute I touched his hand.

There’s something about actually holding the hand of someone when you’ve been dying to do it for so damn long. More than just a touch of the fingers. It wasn’t just Atlas’ hand in mine. Of course, I felt the warmth of it, the calluses, the strength in his grip; but what I got was more than that. This was Atlas, the man who’d sunk his teeth into my neck, claimed me before the moon and the stars, the other half of my soul and as I stared at him, I realised my mother’s bullshit had forced me to cut off that part of me, discard it and leave me limping through life, incomplete.

“Yes,” he said, meeting my gaze, our burgers forgotten.

“What?” I smiled, shaking my head in confusion.

“Whatever the hell you’re thinking, whatever you want, the answer is yes,” he said.

At first I wanted to reply with something cheeky, flirty, fun, but I felt like all of that was unnecessary. Instead, my response was more intense: a need to lean forward, a desire to press my lips against his, one I could freely indulge in now, so I did. His burger fell to the ground, unneeded now, as he fed off my lips.

“So how’s this gonna work?” Jayden asked when his brother and I finally broke free of each other. “Are you going to stay with us in the shearers’ accommodation? Are we gonna settle here?”

“Jay, not yet,” Xavier said.

“But, seriously, are you gonna run again?”

There was something almost accusatory in Jayden’s eyes, but I understood where he was coming from. The wolf was restive inside me, not giving a shit about all the human niceties. She either wanted to chomp each one of them and claim them as ours, or turn tail and run so far no one would find me.

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