Page 52 of With You

I hated this fucking hospital.

It hadn’t been that long ago that I’d been a patient and now here I was, right back in one of these soulless rooms. Only I wasn’t the one lying in the bed. Roe’s chest lifted as he breathed, my eyes long ago dried out, refusing to blink for fear that it might stop.

The moments after he’d been shot had been pure chaos. Gage had to physically restrain me so the EMTs could get Roe into the ambulance and bring him to the hospital where he’d been immediately taken to surgery. The bullet had pierced his spleen and they’d removed it before making sure that there wasn’t more damage. It had taken hours and I was not good at waiting.

Is this what it’d been like for him in the time after I’d been shot? Because it fucking sucked. Nurses and doctors had been in and out of his room, sympathetic faces aimed my way and assuring me that he’d wake up soon. It was always ‘soon,’ no one could give me a definite time. I was beyond anxious, my leg bouncing like Roe’s so often did.

He wanted to marry me. That’s what he’d said. Was that something I wanted, too? I’d been terrified of marriage my entire life, but it didn’t seem so scary now that he’d almost died in my arms. If he would ever open his eyes, I could tell him that.

The door opened and I was prepared to rip the head off whoever came through. Gage’s familiar dark hair appeared, causing the fight to drain out of me. “Hey,” I mumbled, sounding as exhausted as I felt.

Gage lifted his chin in hello, his eyes drifting over Roe’s still form in the bed. The two of them had become close, something that I was still trying to wrap my head around. Roe had filled me in on his time from when he’d disappeared and Gage had been a big part of that. Surprisingly, I wasn’t angry with him, I felt grateful, knowing that Roe’d had someone with him.

“It’s weird, seeing him like this,” Gage waved a hand toward Roe. “Almost like he’s going to pop up at any minute and yell, ‘gotcha’ or something.”

I huffed a laugh, “Trust me, I’ve seen the stitches. It would be a little far to go for a joke.”

“Yeah.” His presence had me breaking and vomiting the thoughts that had been swimming in my head since Roe collapsed to the ground in front of me.

“How are we supposed to handle this, Gage? We’ve barely started this relationship and both of us have been shot. How do we build a future when either of us could be killed just for doing our jobs?”

“You know, he asked me the same thing when you were the one lying there.” He propped a shoulder against the wall and scratched at one darkly tattooed forearm.

I jerked my eyes to him, surprised that Roe had asked and the fact that he’d asked Gage of all people. “And what did you tell him?”

“That I have no fucking idea. Gray and Kane might have a better answer but you saw what they were like when Winnie and Lily were in danger. You’re different, though. You’ve had an entire professional career of being in danger, so has he for that matter.”

I chewed on my bottom lip. We’d chosen this path knowing that our lives could end much earlier than the average person. I’d made my peace with it long ago, but at the time I hadn’t known that there was the possibility of a life outside of work waiting for me.

“If this is what you both want then you’re just going to have to get over it. Or find a safer job where pissed off formerly rich kids don’t try to murder you in your office.”

I ignored the safer job comment and voiced my other concern. “He wants me to marry him. I don’t know if I’m cut out for that.”

“If you really think about it, marriage is just a commitment to another person. To be there for them when they need you, to agree to share a life together. It seems to me like you’ve already done that. If the idea of that being legal freaks you out, then tell him, he’ll understand. If it doesn’t freak you out, then at least plan a good party so I’m not bored out of my mind.”

Huh, I guess we kind of had. Roe was practically living with me. He thought he was being sneaky, moving over his possessions slowly like I wouldn’t notice. I’d dropped a sock on the floor the other day and found three storage containers under my bed full of yarn. Instead of being annoyed, I’d been happy to see them. To know that something so personal to him was in my home.

“Want to be my maid of honor?” I teased Gage. Having the whole world know that Roe was mine and I was his sounded nice. However, under no circumstances would I be wearing a white dress.

“Make him wear something short, he’s got great legs.” Roe’s voice startled me and I jumped to my feet, leaning over him without touching.

“You’re awake.” Roe’s eyes drifted open and intense relief filled me.

“Can’t get rid of me that easy. What did I miss?”

“You’re down one spleen,” Gage answered.

“No shit? Can’t say I know what a fucking spleen does anyway, no loss there.”

“And this one has decided to go all girly and wants to marry you.” I shot a glare toward Gage that promised retribution.

“Where’s the priest? Or judge, I’m not picky.” Roe attempted to sit up and groaned, flopping back down on the bed.

“Slow down. Nothing is happening until you’re better.” I gave him a chaste kiss to erase the pout on his face.

“What organ do I have to give up to get you pregnant?”

I gently slapped his shoulder, but couldn’t help the smile on my face as he and Gage laughed. A family with Roe. That didn’t sound so scary anymore, either.

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