Page 85 of Dr. CEO (The Doctors)

I’ve never been to London before.

Norfolk is as far from the estate as I’ve been since I moved here. And although London is about the same distance away, this will be a very different experience.

I don’t know if I can go.

“The Four Seasons is renowned for exceptional service throughout the world. And the heads of department will get to see and experience it for themselves. I want you to learn from it, get ideas, get excited by it. Then I want you to come back and share it with your teams.”

This is a job requirement—the first of my new role. If I want to stay at Crompton and be the head of guest relations, this is what I have to do.

Three months ago, if you’d told me I’d leave Crompton to go to Norfolk, I’d have said it would have been impossible. Perhaps a trip to London with the other department heads—most of whom I’ve known my entire life—isn’t so impossible. Not now. Not since Vincent showed me what I’m capable of. Not since I discovered how strong I really am.

THIRTY-SIX

Kate

Over the last week, I’ve tried to act like everything is fine. But it isn’t fine.

Vincent’s gone.

He hasn’t called to say he’s changed his mind. He hasn’t turned up in the middle of the night with a bouquet of roses and a thousand apologies. He hasn’t acted out any of the other fantasies that scrolled through my mind in quiet moments. My heart still hurts, still feels heavy in my chest. My entire body is weighed down with sadness that such a bright flash of a man is no longer in my life.

But I keep putting one foot in front of the other, waiting for the balm of Crompton’s consistency to heal me.

Yesterday’s call from Sutton had come as a shock. The fact she wanted to stop by today was even more of one. I look up as the bell over the door to the tea shop rings, but it’s Viola. She always visits the gardens on Sundays. I don’t usually work Sundays, but I’ve gotten to know her when covering for Sandra.

The bell rings again and this time it’s Sutton. I’m a little nervous. I haven’t made any new friends since I dropped out of university, but I like this woman. I give her a little smile as she approaches the table and she envelops me in a hug. The tug in my throat catches me off-guard. Sutton is just more evidence of what I’m missing without Vincent in my life.

We swap hellos, order drinks and then come back to our table. As soon as we’re seated, Sutton reaches for my arm. “How are you?”

She knows he’s gone.

“I’m fine,” I say, but the crack in my voice gives me away. “I always knew he wouldn’t stay for long.”

She sighs. “I thought he might have had a change of heart. Seeing him with you was so…refreshing. I’ve never seen that sweet side of Vincent. Don’t get me wrong, he’s amiable and upbeat, but he was so attentive and concerned with your happiness. It was lovely.”

I have to take a deep breath. I don’t want to lose it in front of people. “He is lovely,” I manage to squeak out.

“Have you heard from him?” she asks.

I shake my head, dropping my gaze to my tea. “I didn’t expect to. How are you?” I ask.

“Jacob says he’ll come around,” she says, ignoring my question.

“No,” I reply, meeting her eyes. “Don’t do that. Don’t give me hope when I know there is none. I understand that…the things that went on when he was a child…it’s wounded him. I get it. I understand all too well.” I let out a shallow laugh. “How ironic that Vincent actually helped me heal some of my wounds.” I swallow, blinking back tears. “I’ll always be grateful to him for that.”

Sutton reaches for my arm. “You mean bringing you to Norfolk?”

“Yes, that was a great example. But just being with him shifted things. I miss him.” My voice breaks again and I pause. “I’ll always miss him. I just have to get used to it. But now I believe the future can be brighter. I’m not frightened of things shifting and changing so much anymore.”

“Have you thought of reaching out?” she asks.

I pick up my cup and take a sip of green tea. “No,” I say. “Not because I don’t want to listen to his beautiful voice or hear about his day, but because I’m not what he wants. It’s better if he’s free to chase something that will do for him what he’s done for me—heal him.”

“You might be that person,” Sutton says.

But I know I’m not.

She must see the expression on my face because she lifts up a finger to stop me saying anything to the contrary. “Just hear me out. I have a theory. Vincent seems like he has a commitment phobia. We both know that comes from his childhood. But I think he’s desperate not to care for anyone in case they leave him. Just like his dad did.”

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