I have no idea what he wants or what to do.

I lie on the floor, exhausted, as Barry runs around in circles. Woofing at me to play, he jumps and nips at my hair. He picks up a ball and drops it next to my hand.

Oh god . . .

“It’s not playtime,” I murmur sleepily. He picks up the ball and drops it again.

I doze for a moment, and he goes to the back door and begins barking to go out.

“What are you doing?” I sigh in frustration. “I just let you in.”

He begins to scratch on the back door to go out.

Hell, this was not in the brochure.

I get up and let him out, and he runs back out to the backyard all excited.

“Go. To. Sleep.” I close the door and march back to the living room. There’s no point even going back upstairs. I’m only coming down again in two minutes. I grab the throw and snuggle up on the floor with some cushions.

Bang, bang, bang.

I wake with a start.

Bang, bang, bang.

Huh? I sit up all disheveled. I fell asleep. Is someone banging on the door?

Owoooooooooooo, I hear from the backyard.

Crap, Barry is howling again.

I open the front door in a rush to see Henley standing at the door, wearing navy satin boxers. “Are you seriously this selfish?” he spits as he marches past me into my house.

“Huh?” I’m squinting as I try to focus my eyes. “What?”

“Your dog is keeping the entire neighborhood awake,” he spits angrily.

Owoooooooooooo, the werewolf cries from the backyard.

“I’m so sorry,” I stammer. “He’s new and just settling in. I just got him today.”

“He’s a literal fucking nightmare.”

Owoooooooooooo, sounds the werewolf.

Henley marches over and opens the back door in a rush. “Shut. Up!” he yells so loudly that it could be heard from the next neighborhood.

Barry quiets for a moment and then barks again.

Henley marches out into my backyard. “Listen, you,” he yells as he points to Barry’s kennel. “Get in your bed, and you go to sleep. Right. Now.”

Barry walks into his kennel and curls up.

Henley marches back into my house and slams the door.

“You are taking that dog back to wherever he came from tomorrow,” he demands.

This man is the most self-entitled asshole of all time. I scratch my head and feel my hair standing on end.