Page 49 of Bladed Kiss

“I understand.” My voice is rough. “If you want to leave, I won’t stop you. I am not going to kill you.”

“What about your revenge?” he asks me. His voice is gentle. It is always gentle, and again, something painful twists in my chest.

“We can’t always get what we want,” I say hopelessly, helplessly.

I bury my face in my hands, and I only realize that I am crying when my hands become wet.

Denve sits silently for a minute. “Look at me,” he says, and there is a new tone to his voice. A tone of command.

He places a hand underneath my chin when I am unwilling to look at him, and he looks me in the eye.

“I guess we’ll have to kill Ocuri.”

21

DENVE

WHY IS SHE SO CONFUSED?

It is clear to me that Salina is shocked and confused by what I just said.

I do not know why. Maybe she didn’t think I’d be okay with killing my own brother, let alone proposing that we actually do it ourselves.

The sun is setting over Vhoig. The loft has large, floor-to-ceiling windows on one side of the building. Right now, blood-red light is spilling into the loft from the sky. We continue to sit in silence as Salina processes what I just said.

There are so many things I want to say to her.

I realized several days ago that I was in love with you. Don’t you see? I could have left at any time, but I stayed.

For you.

I really could have left any time, and I think that when Salina left today for a few hours, she knew that.

She also left the door to the loft unlocked so that if I wanted to leave, I could.

I don’t think I can say it out loud. Not yet.

What if she says no?

“I don’t understand,” Salina says after we have sat in silence for several seemingly long minutes. “How can you propose that we kill your brother? How are you okay with that?”

I am not sure how to answer her.

How do I say that Ocuri has been hurting me my entire life? How do I say that I am not really surprised that Ocuri betrayed you in the way that he did, because that is what he does?

How do I say that Ocuri is made of rage and hatred and contempt, and that he is incapable of loving anyone except himself?

I do not know how to answer her, and I am afraid to answer her, because as I replay the story that she told me, the story of losing her entire life to Ocuri’s manipulations, all I feel is pure rage.

I love you, even though you planned to kill me. I love you, even though you wanted to wipe out my family.

I love you and I need to get revenge for you, in any way that I can. I love you, and I need to do this for you. I need to do something for you.

I can almost picture it. The day when Ocuri went to Prazh and nearly wiped out Salina’s entire coven.

I can picture the bloodshed, the horror, the pain.

I take Salina’s hand in mine, and she threads her fingers through mine. The movement is so automatic that I want to gasp for air because I have never felt closer to another person than I do at this moment.

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