Page 25 of Saving You

“Yes.” It had been a few months ago. Practically the entire town had come into the restaurant to celebrate with Roe and Sam. I’d been working, trying to avoid staring at Gage who’d been sitting all alone at his usual table. At the time I’d thought he’d been jealous of Roe; I’d convinced myself that he must have a crush on the gorgeous Sam. Turns out I was wrong and I was the jealous one.

“That night, Roe gave me a folder full of information. Information he knew I’d be interested in, that I had no right to see but was too weak to refuse.” His stare, full of meaning, had me turning to stone. He rested more of his body weight on top of me as though he knew I wasn’t going to like where this was going.

My palms grew damp and I gripped my locket tighter as I thought about what kind of information a security tech wizard with a classified military background could dig up. Throat dry and muscles tensing, my hindbrain slid into fight or flight mode. I decided to do both and began to thrash inside of his arms, I slapped at this chest and twisted my hips in an attempt to throw him off and escape.

Gage shoved his arms beneath me, crushing my body to his, taking every hit and scratch I gave him. When I finally accepted that I wasn’t going anywhere unless he let me, I fell limply against the sheets and sobbed into the crook of his neck. Gage made soothing sounds as he brushed my tangled hair from face, using his thumbs to wipe away tears.

“You’re not alone, Mia, not anymore. You’re not alone.” He repeated the words like a mantra and because I hadbeen alone for so very long, I latched on to the hope he was offering and held on tight.

* * *

“How much do you know?”We were still in my bed, lying on our sides facing each other, his hand sat relaxed on my bare hip, content now that I was done fighting him.

He sighed, his hand squeezing briefly. “Miles is your son but you didn’t give birth to him.” Gage didn’t beat around the bush and the words felt like a punch to the gut. I was grateful that he recognized that no matter how Miles had come into my life, he was still my child. My stomach churned, I was sure if I’d eaten anything this morning, I would’ve been sick. “You confirmed that for me last night,” he added not unkindly. Yup, no immaculate conception here.

“What else?”

“You haven’t settled anywhere for long since Miles was born. Not until you came to Little Falls.”

Inhaling deeply, I mentally prepared to tell him the story, my story. He deserved to know, especially after sharing his own.

“I don’t know who my parents are. I’d been told my mother was young, couldn’t take care of herself yet alone a baby. Whether or not that’s the truth, who knows. Like you, I didn’t really care to know.” His eyes conveyed understanding and his hand was a comforting weight while I spoke.

“I was lucky, as lucky as a child in the foster system could be. They placed me in a home at a young age with good people. They were poor but kind and best of all, that’s where I met Angie. Angelica, my very own angel.” The coincidence of Gage’s pet name for me was not lost on either of us. The first time he’d called me angel, I’d taken it as a sign that Angie had sent him to us.

Bringing my hand to my locket, I carefully opened my most prized possession. The necklace was made of silver, the pendant a simple oval with engraved flowers on the front. Inside there were two pictures—the first was an image of Miles when he was around two years old, head full of black hair, and the other a picture of two girls. One with long auburn hair and one with hair so dark it shined. Their cheeks were pressed together and huge smiles graced their faces.

Holding the pendant open so that Gage could see the pictures, I continued. “We were about fifteen here. I remember that day so vividly, we’d skipped school to go to the fair. Angie had been babysitting for our neighbor and had twenty dollars. It seemed like a fortune, still does sometimes.” I smiled, running my finger over the picture as the memory played.

“We’d found an old photo booth, the kind that give you a strip of four pictures. God, it was the best day. For girls like us, who had nothing but each other, it was everything. She was more than just a friend, she was my sister. From the moment we met, I knew we’d be together as long as we lived.” My smile dimmed, “I just never imagined how short her life would be.”

I stopped talking, scared of saying the next part aloud. Knowing how bad it would hurt to relive it all over again. Gage’s hand left my hip and he rested it against my cheek, his thumb sweeping back and forth slowly. “Tell me what happened and then it’s over angel.” I nodded, drawing on his strength.

“We were close to turning eighteen. A milestone that has a whole other meaning when you’re in the system. Our foster parents were great, but they couldn’t keep us once the checks stopped coming, there was no way they could afford it. So, Angie and I had been preparing, taking any job we could and saving our money. We were going to rent a small apartment, take classes at the community college and build a better life, together. Then, Angie met a boy,” I paused, huffing a laugh. “Not a boy, a man, he was over a decade older than us. She said that’s what made him so attractive, he was mature, wealthy, could give her everything we never had.

“Every night she went to go see him, not coming home until the next morning. Angie talked about him like he was a prince, her prince that was going to take her away. She wanted me to meet him but every time it was supposed to happen, he’d have some kind of work emergency. When it came time to put the deposit down on our apartment, Angie said she couldn’t do it. He’d asked her to move in with him instead, begged her, told her he couldn’t live without her. I could tell she didn’t want to let me down but it was obvious she wanted to be with him. So, I made up some story about how I’d found a cheaper apartment, it was small, only enough room for one person. Angie knew I was lying; we never could lie to each other so we both pretended my lie was the truth.”

Clearing my throat, I let the anguish of my memories flow over me. “Angie turned eighteen a month before I did and on the night of her birthday she moved out. We were supposed to meet for breakfast the next morning to celebrate together. Her mystery man had some huge dinner planned for her on the day of. She apologized over and over; told me she’d tried to convince him to let me come, too, but he’d wanted it to just be the two of them. I’d cried all night, alone in our room for the first time. It felt like being abandoned all over again. God, if I could go back,” my voice broke and I didn’t bother wiping away the tears as they fell, wetting my pillow.

“She never came to breakfast and I just knew something bad had happened. I was frantic, she would have called me if she couldn’t have made it. The feeling of wrongness was so strong because Angie was as much a part of me as I was a part of her. She didn’t have a cell phone, neither did I, I had no clue what the man’s name was or where he lived. In hindsight it was stupid that I hadn’t insisted she at least give me that. My foster parents went with me to the police, they practically laughed in my face. A poor girl from the foster system that disappeared on her eighteenth birthday? It was so common it was practically expected.”

“Mia,” Gage leaned down, kissing my tear-stained cheeks and helping to ease the hurt from my past. “Did you ever find her?”

“No,” I sighed, ready to tell him the worst of it. “She found me. I never stopped looking for her. I got a job at a twenty-four-hour truck stop; it gave me just enough money to rent a room at this awful motel. It wasn’t a home, just a place I went when I was so exhausted, I couldn’t stand any longer. Every minute I wasn’t working, I was searching for Angie. I’d made missing posters with her picture and a way to contact me, put them all over town. My trips to the police station were so frequent that they threatened charging me if I didn’t stop harassing them. Can you believe it? Threatening a teenager with jail time for asking them to do their jobs?”

At that, his eyes grew hard. I hurried on before he could ask me for names, storming a police station seemed exactly like something he would do.

“It was a year later. I’d just turned nineteen, my second birthday without her. I was in my room at the motel and the phone rang. It was rare for someone to call me but thanks to the posters, every so often I’d get a call from some pervert or a kid thinking it would be a funny prank. I’d been asleep and when I heard her voice on the other end of the phone, I was sure I’d been dreaming. But I wasn’t, it was Angie and I was overcome with joy so much so that it took a while for what she was saying to register. She was in the county hospital, just a few miles away from me. An entire year I’d been thinking of all the places she could have been, Mexico, Europe, Asia—never did I think she’d still be in the city. All the pain and loneliness manifested into anger, I wanted to rage at her for abandoning me. Then what she said erased it all.

“She was in labor; Angie was having a baby and she needed me.” My eyes connected with his as he put the pieces together. I kept my eyes on him while I talked. “When I got to the hospital, I was excited, terrified, had so many questions for her that I’d wished I had a notebook to write them down. I’d asked a nurse where Angie was and deep sadness filled her face. I couldn’t imagine why. Not until I saw her. Oh, Adam, it was awful. She was horribly thin, except for a basketball-sized lump under the blankets where her stomach was. Her eyes were closed and I was so sure she was dead, that I’d missed my chance. Then I saw her hand move and I was flooded with relief. I stepped toward her bed but froze when I heard the most beautiful sound, this tiny whimper. There was a plastic bassinet I hadn’t noticed before.”

“Miles,” he said when I fell quiet.

“Miles,” I repeated, my smile was genuine when I remembered getting my first look at him. And it was as though I was back in that room all over again.

The baby was tiny, a shock of soft black hair stuck out from his pink and blue-striped hat, black hair that was all Angie. I didn’t know it was possible to love someone that much, to instantaneously know that I’d do anything, anything, to protect them. My hands shook when I lifted him out of the crib and held him against my chest.

“His name is Miles, it was the closest I could get to Mia,” Angie’s voice startled me and I held him tighter,worried that I might drop him. She looked exhausted, tears forming in her eyes as she reached toward me. I placed him in her arms and climbed into bed with both of them, holding them tightly as we both cried.

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