Page 81 of Begin Again

She put the fish on a serving platter, got the rice out and the spinach that was in a bag in the microwave.

“Make a plate and let’s eat. Yes, I stood up when it mattered. Back then I was just trying to keep the peace, but it wasn’t working and my marriage continued to fall apart. I’d made plans to leave as I told you, but Donna gave me a chance to go faster.”

“I would have come and got you and taken care of Tanner,” her father said. “You have to know that and I’m hurt you’d think otherwise.”

This wasn’t what she wanted to hear. “I tried to have a good marriage, Dad. It takes two people to make it work.”

Her father sighed and sat down with his plate full. “And one person to mess it up if they don’t want to try. I know you saw that and maybe I should have talked to you more about your mother and my marriage, but you were just a kid.”

“Don’t blame yourself. I put up with things when I shouldn’t have and I’m not blaming myself anymore so you shouldn’t.”

“You said he showed up yesterday,” her father said. “What happened?”

She explained it all to them both. From Tanner getting pissed that he had to wait in the ER lobby to her calling Christian and then them showing up at the hotel.

“He’s gone. He tried to pull one over on me and thanks to Christian and his connections it didn’t happen. I wouldn’t have signed anything anyway without looking it over.”

“But you wanted him gone,” her father said.

“I did. If I wasn’t dating Christian then I’m not sure what I would have done. But I love him and trust him. I knew he’d be there for me.”

“But not me?” her father asked.

She’d hurt the man that raised her. Her first love in her life. Her father.

“I trust you. But I didn’t want to disappoint you and that was part of why I never said anything. I was embarrassed over the life I had. The marriage I felt trapped in. I didn’t want you to think you failed.”

Her father was eating with his head down. He wasn’t saying a word.

There was silence after that statement and finally he lifted his head. “I failed your mother, and I didn’t want you girls to feel it.”

“No,” Abby said. “Don’t you dare say that. You didn’t fail Mom and you know it. That’s on her.”

“Abby is right, Dad. You’ve done a great job raising us. You’re a wonderful father and you were a super husband. You should have tried again with someone else and you didn’t. Why?”

“This isn’t about me.”

“Why can’t it be?” Abby asked. “Liz just told you all her dirty little secrets. I have no life so no worries there. But why haven’t you dated anyone else in all this time?”

“I’ve dated,” her father said. “But it’s hard to split my time with a woman and my job. You girls had to come first and that was a must. You weren’t first with your mother and I was going to be damned if you thought your only other parent wouldn’t be there for you.”

Liz looked at her sister. She figured he’d say that. “But we’ve been adults for a long time.”

“And I’ve dated, but nothing has stuck. I’m too old for the dating scene. I like my life the way it is. I don’t need someone to try to change me or make me someone I’m not. I don’t want to always compromise either.”

She laughed. “You sound like Abby now.”

“Hey,” Abby said. “That’s not true.”

“It kind of is,” her father said. “Listen, girls. Life hasn’t been easy for any of us. I tried to make it better for you.”

Her father was sitting between her and Abby and she leaned and put her head on his shoulder. He was big and rough around the edges. Trevor Sherman didn’t always watch his language and wasn’t polite. Tanner had made comments in the past about that and when she should have stood up for her father more, she’d tried to avoid conflict and changed the subject.

That was wrong of her. She was proud of who her family was and where she came from.

Being picked on and bullied as a kid played with her head. Then the same thing happened with her ex-husband.

Christian was one of the only people in her life back then and now that accepted her for who she was.

---