Page 53 of Cruel Paradise

She grabbed her son and held him up to her face so his pudgy little legs swung around. “Auntie Em doesn’t understand what a brilliant, multitalented widdle bunny you are! Yes! Yes, you are! Yes, you are!” Sienna stuck her tongue out at me. “Your Auntie Em is such a square.”

I rolled onto my belly and looked up at her and Josh. “Can I ask you a serious, possibly politically incorrect question?”

“Duh. Those are my favorite kind.”

“Do you think you’ll ever regret it? Getting married and having a baby so young?”

Sienna’s smile didn’t falter for even a millisecond. “Nope.”

“Just like that? You didn’t even think about it.”

She fixed me with an unblinking stare. “You’ve known me for nineteen years, Em. Tell me, has there ever been a time when I didn’t knowexactlywhat I wanted?”

I thought about it. “No, I guess not.”

She nods. “I may be young—” She twisted Josh around and placed him on her lap. “—but I will never regret my family. This baby here is my whole entire world. I would die for him.”

“You say that about me, too.”

“Sure, but I never meant it literally.”

I threw my empty Coke can at her while she laughed. Even Josh giggled. Those days felt so ordinary. They got lost in the shuffle of bigger moments, bigger milestones.

I wish I knew then how much I’d miss them.

* * *

“Excuse me? Are you Emma Carson?”

I blink at the scrawny man standing in front of me. He’s wearing what technically passes for a smile, but nothing about it makes me think he’s friendly.

“I’m sorry, have we met before?”

“Well, no. Not technically.”

I frown. “Who are you?”

He offers me his hand before he answers the question. “Remmy Jefferson.”

I wrack my brain trying to place the name, but I’m coming up blank. I shake his hand just to keep up the polite pretense. “How can I help you?”

“I’m a reporter forThe Brooklyn Gazette. I like to do my research, Ms. Carson, and I know quite a bit about the man you work for.”

“Wait—this is about Rus—uh, Mr. Oryolov?”

He nods and his eyes narrow, but his smile doesn’t waver. It makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.

“I’d like to ask you a few questions, if that’s okay.”

I’ve always had trouble saying “no” to people. But after Sienna died, it became a whole lot easier. There was something about the finality of her death that made me realize I didn’t actually care if people liked me or not.Sheloved me and that was enough.

“Thanks but no thanks. Have a nice day.” I try to side-step around him, but he mirrors the movement and blocks me.

“Don’t think of it as an interview. Think of it as a public service.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re his personal secretary, which means you work closely with him. You know a lot about him. And I’m willing to bet you can find out a whole lot more.”

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