Page 61 of Song of Scent and Magic

He grinned. "Because they're nowhere near as interesting as I am."

"I've never heard ‘pain in the ass’ pronounced that way," I told him.

"Let me have a look at your hand." He made to reach for it.

I flinched away from him.

He jerked back, hands raised. "Is this where we are now?"

"You lied to me," I reminded him.

"I didn't lie," he argued. "Not exactly."

"You didn't tell me the truth," I said. "That's the same as lying. Had it occurred to you I might not have let you near me if I knew what would happen?"

"Of course it had," he said quietly. "I couldn't allow that. For several reasons. The least of which is that omegas cannot go through their heat without an alpha. Those who have tried, or gone into heat somewhere too remote, or locked themselves away…they don't survive. Did you think I'd let that happen to you?"

"They died?" I asked.

"Died or close to it," he agreed. "Those who lived, didn't want to. They usually didn't live much past that. They withered away or took their own lives. It's not just about sex, it's about the connection between the omega and the alpha. It's like growing up without being hugged enough. The strain is too much." The sides of his mouth drew back.

"Someone you knew?" I guessed.

"My mother," he said softly. "My father was away and I was with him. Not that I would have—" He grimaced. "She stayed until we got back and then she left. Lethal dose of heartbane." He rubbed his brow with his fingertips.

"I then swore that if it was in my power, I'd never let that happen to anyone else. Regardless of the other consequences. These are desperate times. Plants are blooming out of season, and wilting. War may be inevitable. What I did, I did to prevent that."

"And to hells with who you step on along the way?" I asked bitterly. "Who you use? If you told me all of this, I might have gone along with it. I wanted you there for my heat." Even now, I wanted him, while resisting the urge to punch him. The sensation was conflicting.

"If you said no, I would have had two choices," he said slowly. "I would have had to let you go insane, or I would have had to force myself on you. Either way, you would have ended up hating me."

"Am I supposed to feel sorry for you?" I asked. "Because I don't. You should have given me the choice."

"You chose to run away from the caravan with me," he said. "You chose to step through the portal. You trusted me to agree to me being there for your heat." He placed his hands palms down on the table. "You didn't have all the information, that's true, but can you deny the attraction between us?"

"The attraction is beside the point," I snarled.

"Then what is the point?" he shot back. "That your ability to choose is more important than the lives of thousands? Tens of thousands?"

"To me it is," I said bitterly. "The fact you'd think I'd put myself before all those people…"

"Shows I didn't know you before I made this plan," he said. "If you can even call it a plan. All I wanted was to keep you, and any of the other sisters I could assist, away from the Summer Court, and ultimately prevent war. That was all."

"That doesn't mean what you did wasn't wrong," I said.

"Would you say the same thing if you hadn't changed?" he asked.

"Would you have told me any of this if I hadn't?" I countered.

"There would have been no need." He shrugged. "Until the next group of Silent Maidens was ready to leave the temple."

Without thinking, I picked up all the water in the jug and threw it in his face. I thought about throwing the jug as well, but seeing it dripping off his hair and clothes was enough.

"You would have gone on lying to me?" I could hardly believe what I was hearing.

He shook his head, droplets flying everywhere. "Thank you for not freezing that." After a moment he added, "All right, you're right. I would have told you. Certainly before we returned to Fraxius. If you'd decided to stay here after your heat, that is. I wouldn't have tried to make you stay. I won't now, if leaving is what you really want."

He swept water off his face with his hand.

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